how would you cope with your partner becoming obese?

[D_Hanky Philler]

lock the fridge and start running together.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

lock the fridge and start running together.

lol

 

[marriedasian]

i would have an open discussion about it and try to find the underlying issue of why they're going obese. it's always a mental issue. try to help that out and offer to participate in the process of diet/exercise to get them back to healthy levels.

 

[poultrygeist]

I'd still be the horny devil I already am and would be looking for every opportunity to get it on! Poor thing doesn't get much rest when she's around me. But as to the subject, weight on a woman is just not an issue to me. Sexiness, love and femininity can't be measured in pounds or lack thereof.

 

[redz_rule]

I'd still be the horny devil I already am and would be looking for every opportunity to get it on! Poor thing doesn't get much rest when she's around me. But as to the subject, weight on a woman is just not an issue to me. Sexiness, love and femininity can't be measured in pounds or lack thereof.

Awwwww.....

 

[BoxersMan]

Some friends and I were talking about this the other day... it was pretty unanimous that everyone would be pretty pissed if their partner became obese.

I've never been in a relationship so I don't really know, but I'd try to work with my partner through it to become healthier.

 

[BlackGirl]

If it's a medical issue, I would work with him. But if it's plain laziness and disinterest in portion control, we would have to sit down and talk about it and some ultimatums will be made. This is why I am glad to have found a man who has the same views of healthy living that I do so I don't foresee this being an issue down the road.

 

[zezenobia]

Not much of an issue as we kept healthy but if it things start to go downhill, could always nag her about food and some exercise.

 

[dolfette]

Not much of an issue as we kept healthy but if it things start to go downhill, could always nag her about food and some exercise.

recipe for disaster!

 

[SyddyKitty]

If he became obese, I'd blame myself. I tend to insist on making meals - though I make healthy food so he'd need to seriously gorge himself to become obese. I'd hope he would want to fix it himself. I'd be heading to the gym myself or doing some sort of exercise... maybe he'd follow suit - maybe he'd just enjoy having me out of his hair.

Growing up with an obese father, I really cannot stomach it. He ate breakfast with me shirtless one morning in my childhood and I literally was unable to hold my food down - I puked from seeing too much of him. Can't say I'd end the relationship over it but it would be extremely stressed (which puts a funny visual in my head).

That said, I do like a tiny bit of belly on a guy. x3 A very tiny bit, but I prefer it over a ripped 6 pack.

 

[DiabloBoi]

i don't hate the obese
however
i don't trust them
to become physically mutilated to a point of unusual size and weight that is threatening to kill you...
it doesn't say much for a person's wellbeing and lifestyle
and it says so much about their greed
i think, for example, if stuck on a desert island with a fat person, i'd be most afraid of them...because i would want to find coconuts and small animals to eat, whereas they would be most likely to kill and eat me!

if ur partner gets fat, ultimately you have to decide if u love them too much for it to matter, or whether u want to be steamrolled to death.

i think in fairness, someone becoming obese in a relationship can be a sign that they don't feel the need to look after themselves for you any more.

then again it could be a delayed development of diabetis.

either way, if u don't like fattys, dont fuck them.

 

[MelbourneGirl]

It would depend on the reason for the obesity. If there was a medical condition, I would be concerned, but not upset with my partner. I mean, crappy things happen to people. If it was a lifestyle issue, I would definitely worry if a 'few extra kilos' suddenly became 'obese' (which in Australia is 30% more than your ideal body weight).

I am currently 6kg heavier than I normally am, courtesy of recovering from a serious illness last year. The doctor says this is to be expected and it will come off in time with diet and exercise. I'm finding it very hard to budge though which is annoying and also feel sorry for my partner that I am like this, although he's never said a bad word about it and constantly tells me how gorgeous I am.

 

[mickstl]

This is a hard question to answer without the context of age, duration of relationship, and knowing a few things about what's been going on in your lives. There is one thing I can say, though, having been on the other side of this - having lost 80 pounds in the year 2000 after some years of being obese, and then being healthy, fit, and having kept the weight off ever since: Nothing that you or anyone else says or does will make your partner lose the weight until he or she is ready to do it for themselves. If you push it, you're likely to get a grudging and short-term effort to change, and there's a good chance they'll resent you for it. They aren't clueless about their obesity and its ramifications, and if they aren't doing anything about it, it's because they haven't made up their mind to, for whatever their reasons.

You can tell the person in words of your choice that you're concerned about their health, and that while you don't love them any less, their obesity is affecting your desire for them, and that that saddens you, because you miss that part of the relationship. Depending on how the conversation goes, you can also add that it concerns and saddens you that they don't care more about their own health and appearance. Said in the right words and tone, in a non-threatening way, it's your best hope of planting a seed and maybe getting a dialogue going. If nothing happens, depending on how important this is to you, you may have some tough choices to make. Good luck. I know more than a few couples who have struggled with this.

Congrats on your 80 -- you look amazing!

 

[mickstl]

I go to Walmart sometimes and see these incredibly hot daddies walking with their morbidly obese wives. I somehow get the feeling that these guys would be more than open to getting a blowjob from me. And I can understand why they would let me.

You crazy... :wink:

 

[B_duanculo]

well for better or worse till death do you part.

it's your job to be supportive and help them lose the weight, not use it as your scapegoat to leave

 

[dolfette]

well for better or worse till death do you part.

it's your job to be supportive and help them lose the weight, not use it as your scapegoat to leave

totally assuming they are willing to accept support and lose weight.

 

[fournineteenfiftynine]

at least you can do something about your weight....you can't change the size of your dick

 

[Nudistpig]

If he were fine I would grow to love him in his new body. I like big guys already.

 

[flynn]

I know this is very shallow of me but I told my wife years ago that the only two things I'll ask of you is to stay sexy looking and be good in bed. She has done both. Sexy to me is a woman who has a few extra pounds and has huge tits. Obese is something I would have a problem with.

 

[nailz]

I think that couples should make their priorities (eg. health/fitness) clear early in the relationship.

Obesity isn't an overnight process, it's usually a long-term product of different priorities, neglecting your health, inactivity, etc. I would talk to my partner long before they "became obese". If they wanted to make a positive change then I'd help encourage and support them. If they didn't care, and our priorities have drifted so far apart then I'd break up with them.

I believe that in a good relationship you should always be making an effort to keep that spark of desire alive, instead of just taking the other person for granted. Staying healthy and active so you can enjoy as much in life as you can with your partner should also be important to you.
I put a lot of effort into trying to stay healthy, active and attractive for my boyfriend, if he suddenly stopped taking care of himself, his health and appearance I'd wonder if I was still a priority for him.