how would you cope with your partner becoming obese?

[KTF40]

Due to the NY Times reputation for plagiarism and outright fabrication, I went directly to the CDC website. The survey quoted in your 2010 article is from 2006. That does nothing to refute the information I posted, which is from 2009. In 2009, 26.5% of Americans were obese, according to a survey. A similar survey in 2010, according to the CDC website, puts American obesity at 26.7%. So. Can it be said that 1/3 of Americans are obese? Sure. Rounding up is more sensational sounding. But the truth is it is closer to 1/4 like I said before.

The survey quoted in the article is from 2006? Why would you say that? It clearly says the data is from this study Prevalence and Trends in Obesity Among US Adults, 1999-2008, January 20, 2010, Flegal et al. 303 (3): 235 (pulled directly from the article) where the study ended in 2008.

And I'm not sure what CDC study you are talking about since you have provided no links, but according to the USA Today regarding the data of a recent CDC survey

"The data indicate that about 27% of people in the USA are obese, but that's an underestimate; more accurate government data show that about 34% of adults — almost 73 million people — are obese, the CDC says."

CDC survey: More than 30% obese in 9 Southern states - USATODAY.com

Even your own CDC refutes your "surveys".

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Well I'm a fat ass and I have 3 health problems behind that. The only ones that I give a rats ass about if it impacts them or not, are my boys. I teach them good healthy eating habits now and I tell them they don't wanna be like this (as I grab my big belly) because it is a living hell. I play baseball, handball, basketball and other sports with them to keep them going strong. They love me for me, extra pounds and all. Love is unconditional and you don't abandon someone because they look a certain way or you're embarrassed to be seen with them.

 

[AlteredEgo]

The survey quoted in the article is from 2006? Why would you say that? It clearly says the data is from this study Prevalence and Trends in Obesity Among US Adults, 1999-2008, January 20, 2010, Flegal et al. 303 (3): 235 (pulled directly from the article) where the study ended in 2008.

And I'm not sure what CDC study you are talking about since you have provided no links, but according to the USA Today regarding the data of a recent CDC survey

"The data indicate that about 27% of people in the USA are obese, but that's an underestimate; more accurate government data show that about 34% of adults — almost 73 million people — are obese, the CDC says."

CDC survey: More than 30% obese in 9 Southern states - USATODAY.com

Even your own CDC refutes your "surveys".

Because I went directly to htp://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/index.html. I never believe the Times. It's my favorite paper, but if its reporters say they know anything, and I am interested enough to care, I will go find out for myself from the cited source. Unfortunately, the paper keeps getting busted for plagiarism and fabrication, so this is necessary. Here is what I found, sixth from the top:


CDC Study Finds No Increase in Obesity Among Adults; But Levels Still High, 2005–2006 (PDF-204k)
After a quarter century of increases, obesity prevalence has not measurably increased in the past few years but levels are still high — at 34 percent of U.S. adults aged 20 and over.

Doesn't that wording look similar?

So, if your article is quoting the CDC, that's what they are quoting. Now, the CDC does link to the abstract from a survey conducted by the Journal of the American Medical Association, and JAMA is very credible, and does indeed state that American obesity has leveled off at 34%. So, I thank you for the correction. There is nothing on the obesity data page of the CDC website generated by the CDC any more recently than 2006, which is the source of our misunderstanding.

 

[D_Alec_Baldtwins]

Now here's an interesting twist as well - this just popped up on Yahoo: "Lean gene" ups risk of heart disease and diabetes - Yahoo! News

 

[B_jeepguy2]

This is actually a conversation in our home right now. We both quit smoking and have each put on about 10-15 pounds. I am stepping up my diet perimeters and my work out routine at the gym. I think if I ask my partner again when his due date is he will probably start taking some action. I simply said to him if you become obese and develop health problems because of that you are negating the reason we quit smoking.

IMO the current obesity epidemic is a direct result of the war on tobacco. When I was a kid back in the early 1970s I don't remember seeing too many obese or even overweight people but EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE smoked like freight trains back then. Nicotine is a strong appetite suppressant that also stimulates the metabolism.

When my dad kicked his pack a day Lucky Strike habit back in '75 he promptly gained about 35 lbs. My uncle never threw his cigs away and he could still wear the same Navy uniform he during WWII when he was 18 in his 50s and 60s. The cigs finally killed him but he was damn near 80 when they did.

I am in my 30s and my only male friends who are the same size they were in high school and college are those who use tobacco. Most of the the guys who don't smoke or dip, and don't work out 24/7, are pretty portly and have big beer bellies.

 

[HungThickProf]

In my opinion, a lot of this sounds extremely lazy. I spend 11 hours per day/ 5 days a week working/commuting where I spend my time for the most part on my butt all day and I still find time to work out 4 days a week for about an hour a session. And if you're spending over $20 bucks on a meal just so it is healthy that sounds like a huge waste of money. This might sound extremely harsh, but if you can't find the drive in you to exercise throughout the week and put some efforts into finding foods at your local grocery store that are both healthy and don't cost 20$ per meal, you can't blame your weight problems on anyone else but yourself.

I can't comment on medical conditions and what not, but I think we all know people who are fat due to those issues are by and large in the minority. You look at a country like South Korea and Japan, their obesity rates are under 5%. You take a look at the US, it is well over 30% and is the highest in the world. You can't blame all that on medical problems, the food, or a long day at work. A lot of it is just laziness and people who are perfectly content with being fat.

I won't disagree with you, because laziness may be a huge part of it. And you can be as harsh as you want, because it shows me that you didn't read my previous post. You don't fucking know me! I got a membership to Planet Fitness 3 months ago, and in that time, I've lost over 30lbs, and I've been putting on lean muscle, and I'll continue to do so. And far as spending $20.00 on a meal- it's not something that I do daily, but please excuse me if I want different peppers with my fresh chicken breast, or fresh herbs or fresh fruit with my salad. And coconut oil is not cheap. (But don't worry, I've learned that it's okay to buy frozen foods.)

And as I said before, you don't know the factors that contribute- you look very lean, so I'm guessing you've been athletic a good deal of your life? Not everyone can say the same. And yes, you're right, everyone is responsible for their own paths, and we all have different views on life. It's unfortunate that it took me until I was 25 to have an epiphany about something so simple as diet and exercise. Not everyone knows how to exercise correctly, and if you're a bigger person, then believe me, exercising can be very uncomfortable- ESPECIALLY when you have some 118lb blonde or a 160lb former Abercrombie model telling you how to workout either in person or a workout dvd, and they have no clue what your body can handle.

And I'm oh so very glad that you're able to bust out your workouts 5 times a week. Some bigger people don't feel comfortable in the gym. And I can understand why. When I had a membership at the YMCA, I felt like people were staring at me, and I even felt judged. Don't say it was just in my head, it wasn't- I caught a few of them. And as much as you may want to tough up and not let it hurt your feelings, it does a little. People judge you for being larger, and then when you decide to do something about it, they still have their jokes- a little fucked up, huh? At least with Planet Fitness, I'm very happy, and I've seen the results because of their no judgement zone, and their cheap rates! Everyone feels comfortable, and it's unfortunate that there's not a Planet Fitness in every city. If more gyms believed in their philosophies, you'd probably see a difference in the appearance of most people. I say that because in the time I've been a member, I've seen people bigger than myself become members, and it's wonderful to see them morph their bodies and change their lives the same way that I am.

So you can have your opinions, just know the facts.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Holy fucking shit - I really cannot believe how ignorant you are.

How dare you speak that way to an atheist? Don't you understand that it makes him automatically more intelligent and better informed? We should be bowing a scraping because deigns to participate in this forum with us.

 

[BBB2.5]

WOW...amazes me how a question can can turn into something else....just saying.

 

[KTF40]

I won't disagree with you, because laziness may be a huge part of it. And you can be as harsh as you want, because it shows me that you didn't read my previous post. You don't fucking know me! I got a membership to Planet Fitness 3 months ago, and in that time, I've lost over 30lbs, and I've been putting on lean muscle, and I'll continue to do so. And far as spending $20.00 on a meal- it's not something that I do daily, but please excuse me if I want different peppers with my fresh chicken breast, or fresh herbs or fresh fruit with my salad. And coconut oil is not cheap. (But don't worry, I've learned that it's okay to buy frozen foods.)

And as I said before, you don't know the factors that contribute- you look very lean, so I'm guessing you've been athletic a good deal of your life? Not everyone can say the same. And yes, you're right, everyone is responsible for their own paths, and we all have different views on life. It's unfortunate that it took me until I was 25 to have an epiphany about something so simple as diet and exercise. Not everyone knows how to exercise correctly, and if you're a bigger person, then believe me, exercising can be very uncomfortable- ESPECIALLY when you have some 118lb blonde or a 160lb former Abercrombie model telling you how to workout either in person or a workout dvd, and they have no clue what your body can handle.

And I'm oh so very glad that you're able to bust out your workouts 5 times a week. Some bigger people don't feel comfortable in the gym. And I can understand why. When I had a membership at the YMCA, I felt like people were staring at me, and I even felt judged. Don't say it was just in my head, it wasn't- I caught a few of them. And as much as you may want to tough up and not let it hurt your feelings, it does a little. People judge you for being larger, and then when you decide to do something about it, they still have their jokes- a little fucked up, huh? At least with Planet Fitness, I'm very happy, and I've seen the results because of their no judgement zone, and their cheap rates! Everyone feels comfortable, and it's unfortunate that there's not a Planet Fitness in every city. If more gyms believed in their philosophies, you'd probably see a difference in the appearance of most people. I say that because in the time I've been a member, I've seen people bigger than myself become members, and it's wonderful to see them morph their bodies and change their lives the same way that I am.

So you can have your opinions, just know the facts.

I did read your post and nowhere in there did it mention you work out at Planet Fitness. If anything, it was just a list of excuses trying to justify why people are fat. Which is why I felt the need to comment, because they are poor excuses to justify being fat (other than medical conditions). They reek of laziness, which we seem to have some agreement on.

And while you may consider what you just wrote to be factual, they still are terrible reasons to be fat. Not knowing how to exercise properly is not an excuse to be fat. Being uncomfortable at the gym because you are fat is not a good excuse to continue to be fat (especially when nobody actually cares what your body shape is). Complaining that your food is too expensive because you want fresh fruit with your meal is not a good reason to eat unhealthy foods. And I realize not everyone's metabolism is not at the same level, but for the most part (not all cases), that's not a good reason to be fat either. It just means you will have to work harder and be more conscious of what you eat than a naturally leaner person. Some people are lucky in that regard. It's no different than myself when it comes to getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to body hair. I'm super hairy and have sensitive skin, so I'll have to spend thousands on razors and hair removal products in my life where as other people won't have that problem. It doesn't mean I have an excuse for going out in public looking like a hairball or have red marks all over my body, it just means I have to put more effort into my appearance and skin care than other people. Same way certain people with a slower metabolism have to put more effort into their appearance if they don't want to be overweight or obese.

 

[HungThickProf]

I'm glad that you created this thread because it's something that I've been thinking about for the past few weeks. I've always been a big guy, but I carry my weight extremely well. At 8 years of age, I played on a football team for 10-14 year olds, and had a scrimmage against our senior team, 15-17 year olds. I got knocked down a bit, but I took out some of their best players hard! At 8 years of age I was just over 5 feet, and weighed 141lbs. By the team I joined the wrestling team in the 7 grade, I was around 5'6, 177lbs. I still carried my weight well. After I started to focus more on the violin, I gave up tennis, and wrestling. I led a pretty sedentary lifestyle, only getting active when it was necessary, such as PE, volleyball during family or group functions.

Fourteen years later, and we're in the present. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big guy, and I love SEX!!!! SEX, SEX, AND MORE ASS FUCKING SEX!!!! Sorry, where was I? Oh yes. With me being a very sexually active person and a big guy, I noticed that I expanded my attraction to bigger men. I'd prefer men who were at least 200lbs, 400lbs max, and they had to be able to handle rough sex. Almost 3 months ago, I finally realized that if I kept telling myself that one day, I'd be slimmer and healthier and didn't do anything about it, that day would never come. So I joined planet fitness, and I've been so proud of myself and really changing my life. I changed my diet- what I eat, what I drink, how my food is prepared, and cayenne pepper is a good friend! There's a picture of me in my profile, and it reflects my weight at my heaviest. I had no idea how big I had allowed myself to get. Before I started, I was 6'2 and at least 400lbs. I say at least because I really have no idea the exact weight. I noticed that I had lost some weight, so I got on the scale and saw that I was 398lbs. I started to tear up because I had no idea that I had let myself go. When you see yourself in the mirror every day, you're only familiar with your perception of you, not how others see you. I smiled when I realized that I'm still sexy. :wink:

Anyway, I'm on a journey with a healthier lifestyle. I've given myself 2 years- by the time I get to grad school to have my body where I'd like it, and I believe that I can do it. I have the determination, the tools, and the wisdom to do so. And I've realized that out of sexual partners, I'm far more turned by healthier men. I love muscles, and that's something that I want from a man. At the same time, it's not fair of me to ask a man to live up to standards that not even I meet. But I'll get there!

Some of you are probably wondering "Okay, Dante, we want to know how you would deal with this- we don't give a shit about the rest!" And I promise you, I'm about to tell you. During one of my many stoner moments, I thought about my life, and my body, and how it's not where I want it to be. I thought if I could go back in time, I could have stopped myself from eating those brownies, or those french fries, or sent myself anonymous letters, leading myself to the gym. And then I thought about all of the delicious foods that I would eat, and how eating healthy was fine, but OMG GIVE ME CARBS, and PIZZA!!! It then hit me. I wasn't happy during my childhood or my teenage years. Eating cookies, cakes, pies, or pizza gave me a feeling of happiness. People really do eat their feelings. We all have our vices.

Now that I am happier, I have no desire for sweets, really. And if I do, I eat yogurt or granola or fruit. And it doesn't even bother me. In the past 2 days, I've had 2 glasses of crangrape juice. Otherwise, I drink 2-4 liters of water a day. I make sure I work out, and really bust it out at the gym, otherwise, you're just wasting time. When you're in the dark, you look for the smallest spark to bring you a bit of light, and everyone has a feeling of satisfaction when they eat. So, I would treat the obesity like a drug addiction, and they're basically the same in this case. Get the person any help that you can get them. It's stressful, I know. Seriously, it's an emotional rollercoaster, and it happens to be a long ride, and you don't know that you want off until you've already left the platform.

Anyway, I hope that answered some questions.

I did read your post and nowhere in there did it mention you work out at Planet Fitness. If anything, it was just a list of excuses trying to justify why people are fat. Which is why I felt the need to comment, because they are poor excuses to justify being fat (other than medical conditions). They reek of laziness, which we seem to have some agreement on.

And while you may consider what you just wrote to be factual, they still are terrible reasons to be fat. Not knowing how to exercise properly is not an excuse to be fat. Being uncomfortable at the gym because you are fat is not a good excuse to continue to be fat (especially when nobody actually cares what your body shape is). Complaining that your food is too expensive because you want fresh fruit with your meal is not a good reason to eat unhealthy foods. And I realize not everyone's metabolism is not at the same level, but for the most part (not all cases), that's not a good reason to be fat either. It just means you will have to work harder and be more conscious of what you eat than a naturally leaner person. Some people are lucky in that regard. It's no different than myself when it comes to getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to body hair. I'm super hairy and have sensitive skin, so I'll have to spend thousands on razors and hair removal products in my life where as other people won't have that problem. It doesn't mean I have an excuse for going out in public looking like a hairball or have red marks all over my body, it just means I have to put more effort into my appearance and skin care than other people. Same way certain people with a slower metabolism have to put more effort into their appearance if they don't want to be overweight or obese.

Do you have an issue with reading comprehension? I mean, really? At no point have I made a single excuse for myself. I watch what I eat, and I eat better than most. I use my food steamer and GF grill multiple times a week. I don't drink soft drinks, or eat sweets. In fact, I drink 2-4 liters of water a day, and I eat fresh fresh and yogurt. And again, I too workout multiple times a week. SO if that's not satisfactory to you or you feel that I'm making excuses for myself, then you can kiss every square inch of my fat ass.

And by the way, comparing body hair removal and weight loss is hardly the same thing! Are you not familiar with Veet or Nair for sensitive skin? Because I doubt that you look like Chewbacca if you go a day or two without shaving, so I refuse to believe that you use a new razor to shave your entire body daily.

what a douche...

 

[DaveyR]

Although I do not find obese attractive I see well beyond that. My partner of 24 years (today is the anniversary of when we met) has lost his hair, gained a fair bit of weight and needing and getting some dental work. Despite all that he's him and I love the very ground he walks on. His smile and personality lights up a room. The physical stuff does not matter as we all get old and change.

 

[helgaleena]

Although I do not find obese attractive I see well beyond that. My partner of 24 years (today is the anniversary of when we met) has lost his hair, gained a fair bit of weight and needing and getting some dental work. Despite all that he's him and I love the very ground he walks on. His smile and personality lights up a room. The physical stuff does not matter as we all get old and change.

Amen, cannot agree more, c_s.

 

[KTF40]

Do you have an issue with reading comprehension? I mean, really? At no point have I made a single excuse for myself. I watch what I eat, and I eat better than most. I use my food steamer and GF grill multiple times a week. I don't drink soft drinks, or eat sweets. In fact, I drink 2-4 liters of water a day, and I eat fresh fresh and yogurt. And again, I too workout multiple times a week. SO if that's not satisfactory to you or you feel that I'm making excuses for myself, then you can kiss every square inch of my fat ass.

And by the way, comparing body hair removal and weight loss is hardly the same thing! Are you not familiar with Veet or Nair for sensitive skin? Because I doubt that you look like Chewbacca if you go a day or two without shaving, so I refuse to believe that you use a new razor to shave your entire body daily.

what a douche...

I think the problem is when I say something like, "Being uncomfortable at the gym because you are fat is not a good excuse to continue to be fat". That's not intended to be directed at you. It's directed at someone who uses that excuse for their own weight problems. So my bad on that. The only time I actually directly addressed your situation was when I did that "this may come across as harsh" line because your entire post led the reader to believe you were fat and were making those excuses you said in your post, when I guess you were really making excuses for other people being fat, which as I said were poor excuses.

And the hair point was to explain that not of all of us are born on a level playing field physically. We have disadvantages that we must work through. Whether that be a slow metabolism, extreme hair growth, or whatever it may be. Some of us will have to spend thousands on hair removal products in our lives. Others may never need to shave, and therefore avoid costs and time related to removing hair from their bodies.

As for Veet and Nair, they don't give me that much closer hair loss than an electric razor would give me. Plus, it's a messy and longer process than shaving. And it can burn you too if you're not careful.

 

[Catharsis]

I'd tell them to stop eating so much. If you don't eat, you cannot become obese. You only become obese by over-eating and being lazy.

To maintain a healthy weight all you need to do is eat normally (and try to avoid snacks) and keep slightly active (30 minute walks every day, etc).

I'm pretty sure that eating right and keeping slightly active is something you have to grow up with and make a habit of doing throughout your entire life (I mean, starting at a very young age). I don't know how else you can "maintain" a healthy weight, otherwise, unless you're at a healthy weight to begin with. (I'm not necessarily speaking for myself, as I was healthy from sports until I went to college, but I mean for my parents, who in the past 10 years haven't seen any results from their hour-long walks after dinner.)

KTF - This is probably not the right place for this, but since it's been brought up... I'm just curious at how you manage your body hair without getting red spots all over? Every time I have my back shaved (NOT a dry shave, my skin is also extremely sensitive) but I still end up with red bumps all over the place, and there's a sensation of pain and really itchy until the hair grows back - and it happens all the time. It almost makes me want to save up for permanent hair removal on my back and shoulders. Do you have that problem?

 

[Miscer]

dump her instantly. all that girls have to do is look cute and don't be fat.

 

[Miscer]

fat-asses love to whine and bleat about slow metabolism and endocrine factors -- 99% of the time theyre just lazy tubs of crap with zero self-control. they lie to others --and themselves -- about how much they eat. that said, i dont have any hate for them, only pity. and i wish everyone the best in their diet and exercise goals

 

[unzipped]

The stark truth IS everyone puts something in their body that makes or keeps them fat.......

 

[LaFemme]

KTF - This is probably not the right place for this, but since it's been brought up... I'm just curious at how you manage your body hair without getting red spots all over? Every time I have my back shaved (NOT a dry shave, my skin is also extremely sensitive) but I still end up with red bumps all over the place, and there's a sensation of pain and really itchy until the hair grows back - and it happens all the time. It almost makes me want to save up for permanent hair removal on my back and shoulders. Do you have that problem?

Not even going to address this whole fat thing - since most of you guys would dump me...lol, but try using polysporin as your shave gel. It prevents itching & the red bumps. Use a fresh disposable razor every time.

 

[KTF40]

KTF - This is probably not the right place for this, but since it's been brought up... I'm just curious at how you manage your body hair without getting red spots all over? Every time I have my back shaved (NOT a dry shave, my skin is also extremely sensitive) but I still end up with red bumps all over the place, and there's a sensation of pain and really itchy until the hair grows back - and it happens all the time. It almost makes me want to save up for permanent hair removal on my back and shoulders. Do you have that problem?

I think I'm somewhat lucky in that my back is the only skin on my body that isn't super sensitive. So I think for the most part, I can get away with shaving it and keep red marks pretty minimal. Unfortunately, I find that shaving isn't satisfying enough for me because the skin is not very smooth after shaving it. You can rub your hand over it and feel the razor bumps even if you can't see them. Plus with shaving, the hair comes back prickly relatively quickly.

So what I've been doing more so lately, is using my epilator over it. You can look them up, but they are basically electronic pluckers. The plus is that it feels smoother and the hair comes back less prickly. The downside is now I got red dots lol!. So I really can't give you an answer. The way I keep red dots on my face and neck to low levels, is just by washing it with soap often. So I'm going to try to focus on doing that more on my back and hope it makes a difference. Maybe you can try that immediately after shaving, just take a shower or something. But other than that, I can't really help you too much. And I guess also try LaFemme's advice, which I've never done.

 

[Catharsis]

Not even going to address this whole fat thing - since most of you guys would dump me...lol, but try using polysporin as your shave gel. It prevents itching & the red bumps. Use a fresh disposable razor every time.

Well, that's an interesting discovery! I never would have thought that. I'll keep it in mind for next time. Would neosporin work to the same effect?

I think I'm somewhat lucky in that my back is the only skin on my body that isn't super sensitive. So I think for the most part, I can get away with shaving it and keep red marks pretty minimal. Unfortunately, I find that shaving isn't satisfying enough for me because the skin is not very smooth after shaving it. You can rub your hand over it and feel the razor bumps even if you can't see them. Plus with shaving, the hair comes back prickly relatively quickly.

So what I've been doing more so lately, is using my epilator over it. You can look them up, but they are basically electronic pluckers. The plus is that it feels smoother and the hair comes back less prickly. The downside is now I got red dots lol!. So I really can't give you an answer. The way I keep red dots on my face and neck to low levels, is just by washing it with soap often. So I'm going to try to focus on doing that more on my back and hope it makes a difference. Maybe you can try that immediately after shaving, just take a shower or something. But other than that, I can't really help you too much. And I guess also try LaFemme's advice, which I've never done.

Well, I don't shave very often because of the red bumps and because it's such a hassle to do... And quite embarrassing for me (my mom does it for me). But if I'm able to do it by myself with an epilator, I'd certainly be more interested in learning more about it. Does it hurt at all when you use it? I'm not sure if your word is too good for me since your back doesn't have sensitive skin.