how would you feel about being a housewife?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dolfette, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. dolfette

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    would it suit you, if finances allowed?
    would it affect your self esteem?
    would you feel it a betrayal of feminism?
    or do you think it's an important role?
     
  2. Patchos

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    I can't wait to have kids. I'd like to be around them while they are growing up, so being a housewife is appealing. It does get a bit dull though if you don't spend enough time with other adults. I'd stay at home for the formative years and then maybe do some work part time while they are at school. I wouldn't mind my partner and I taking turns and working too. It really depends how much money is being made and whether it's affordable.

    Feminism is about having the choice to stay at home or work, without being penalised for it.
     
  3. Principessa

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    Great! That's been my dream since I was about 6.

    Nope, quite confident in my abilities in and outside the home.

    Nope, I used to be a plastics engineer so I've done the equal pay for equal work thing.

    Of course it's an important role! As is fatherhood. Countless studies have been done about the damage done to boys and girls who grow up without a strong and loving father figure in the home. Don't even get me started on the issues of children raised in homes where the mother abandoned them.


    FWIW: Working mothers have not abandoned their children.
    I mean the women who just pack their bags and go and leave their children with the father or grandparents.
     
  4. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    if i did have children and my finances could allow it, i don't think i would mind being a stay-at-home-mom... that is, during the early years when they are still growing. once i feel they are old enough and smart enough to look after themselves (most likely in the teen years, although that could very well change by the time i become a parent), then i would want to return to working full-time.

    it's no secret that the early years are the most significant years. not only is it important is for children to have a comfortable place to come home to, but it's important for someone to be there to take care of them, whether that parent is the mother or the father.

    if i were a stay-at-home-mom i know it definitely would not affect my self-esteem, nor would it set feminism back 50 years. like patchos said:

    children who spend more time with their parents are more well-mannered and disciplined than children who don't spend enough time with their parents. my self-esteem would not be shattered by someone telling me my how loved and cared-for, and especially well-behaved, my children are. i would much rather raise my children than having the television set raise them.

    another thing i would like to add is if the father of my children wanted to be a stay-at-home-dad, and if our finances allowed it, i would not mind at all. husbands have been taking care of wives for eons and i personally don't see anything wrong with a wife taking care of her husband, especially in western society like ours today with equal rights. it's about time men step up and do the laundry, the errands, the grocery shopping, the cooking and the cleaning for once.
     
  5. eyescream

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    I would do it. It's not something I look down upon, it's all a matter of choice and opportunity. If my family does alright financially, I'm up for it.
     
  6. SnitchQitch

    SnitchQitch New Member

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    it's my ambition. i didn't have my mom around when i was growing up, so i want to make a change for my future kids, if finances permit. :)
     
  7. dolfette

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    i wasn't expecting that response at all.
     
  8. ManlyBanisters

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    I am a housewife. Or rather I was - but now my husband is no longer here.

    I guess that makes me a house :biggrin:

    Actually I was only a full time at home mum with no paid work for 2 years 9 months - after that I was lucky enough to land a work from home job (part time) that allows me to be a full time mum and earn enough to keep the household.

    Before I started working I felt fine with my role. Certainly it suited me. My self esteem was very high as I was dedicating all my time to doing what I consider one of the most important jobs there is.

    Is it a betrayal of feminism? No - like another poster said feminism is about choices. Had my then husband MADE me stay home (or tried to) that would have been a problem. But that wasn't the case - we were just dividing the labour in a way that was efficient and cost effect for us (that labour being work to care for the day to day needs of the family and work to earn money to pay for that).

    Anyway, I'm more into equality than feminism. I would like to see men have the same rights as women when it comes to things like paternity leave and also to see the social stigma lifted from the househusband.
     
  9. Ganieda

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    1. Yes - I would be a housewife with or without children if the finances allowed. There are lots of things I would be able to accomplish by being a housewife that I'm not able to do (or do very well) while having a career outside of the home.

    2. No - I feel that I would be bored for a moment, but once I started my other projects, I would be fine.

    3.
    No - In fact, I totally agree with Patchos.

    4.
    Yes - Totally.
     
  10. luka82

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    well, I have stay-at-home-mom, and look how I turned out to be!!!:tongue:
     
  11. Opalite

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    Never, not in a million years.

    I don't plan on having any children though, I'm terrible with kids and I'd rather get a puppy. But my work is my life, and I can't stand sitting at home for too long and hardly speaking to anyone.

    Nothing to do with feminism, I just like my work and dislike children.
     
  12. dolfette

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    i was expecting more of this opinion.
    quite surprised that thus far you are definately the minority...
     
  13. Empathizer

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    I love children, but I'm pretty sure that, if I don't outright drop them, absentmindedly, into a stump grinder or a patch of foliage covered in those poison dart frogs, I'll totally fuck up at parenting and the kid will end up feeling betrayed by everything and everyone, especially dear old Mom.

    Or I'll do whtever little hex-dance of bad child-rearing it is that produces a little Aileen Wuornos or Andrei Chikatilo or Josef Mengele or Stalin, and I'll have to publicly self-immolate and leave all my worldly goods to the families of the victims to make up for what I've done.

    This is why I am practicing saying "Auntie [my name]," because my sister's kids will be so well-adjusted that they'll at least be amused by my je ne sais omigawdwhatissheDOING??!?! without, at the same time, becoming shell-shocked little wrecks.
     
  14. Wish-4-8

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    I think its one of thee most important roles for the development of a family, (when done right). Its also the most unappreciated, underrated, and most misunderstood roles in our society. (probably because it is not always done right)

    Ideally, as a man, I would love for my wife (I dont have one) to stay at home and take care of business when we have kids. I would never see her role as secondary and would find someway to say thank you everyday, (if done right) And I would work hard to make sure I could get her anything she wants.

    Ofcourse, this is all in theory. Real life tends to not go as perfect as our imaginations, but at least I have a general direction to push for. And finding someone with similar values would be a blessing.
     
  15. dolfette

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    *swoon*

    i want to have your babies!
    ...and then flee the country with them, on fake passports, leaving a trail of restraining orders in our wake.
     
  16. inspectahdck

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    plastics engineer as in plastic moldin machinist, or were you the one that made the tolerances/cotes of the mold etc.
     
  17. basharbd

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    This was an issue I had with my wife. We had discussed having a child but as she had just started a career she didn't want to take time off while I didn't want to have a child unless she would be a housewife/stay-at-home mom for the the first 2.5-3 years. I didn't want my child to be shipped off to a babysitter after the maternal leave was over. No kids and soon no marriage.

    I think it's important to for parents to raise a child. And if it's possible, one should stay home during the early years. Unfortunately, this gets harder and harder due to changing social and economic demands.
     
  18. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    ouch, hate that term, 'housewife' why not 'stay at home parent' or something? LOL, sorry, but that just calls to mind "Honey, I'm home..." and the mom rushing in with the cookies for good ol' hard working dad. Sorry -- it's just a term, I know, but I like the other better.

    I think stay at home parents are doing a wonderful thing. Raising children is work! Hard, hard work. I think it'd be great if they actually got paid to do it!

    Would it hurt my self-esteem? No, I don't think so.

    Would I be betraying my feminism? No, again, don't think so. I think it's an important job -- this 'life' your attempting to guide into a world that is one screwed up mess most of the time -- that's a huge responsibility. So, no, I think it's not a betrayal to raise a child. Not at all. I have the utmost respect for women or men that quit their jobs, or reduce their hours, to be more present in their child's life. I also respect working parents -- they have like triple duty!

    Great topic -- interesting ideas/thoughts
     
  19. whatireallywant

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    Me too! I don't like kids and HATE cooking and cleaning. :mad: Plus I had the "A woman's place is in the home" crap shoved down my throat all through childhood and as a kid was always wishing I was a boy (plus I wanted to play sports and build model rockets and do cool stuff like that, that I really didn't get to do because it was "only for boys"... I made up for that part as an adult some though.)

    However, if someone wants to stay at home and is not feeling forced to, that's ok. (I hear more about stay at home dads now too as well.)

    Yes, I used to be the kind of feminist who ran down women staying at home. (That was because of the stuff with "A woman's place is in the home" being shoved down my throat all the time as a kid, though. Plus I just thought everybody should be like me. :biggrin1:) Now I think it's about choices, and if someone chooses to stay at home that's ok but if they're trying to force women to stay at home, I still have a problem with that. I'm still a feminist, but a "feminism is about choices" person... Although truthfully I generally have very little in common with women who choose to stay home. But then I have very little in common with people who pretty much only like country music, hunting, and NASCAR too, but hey, if that's what they like, why not?

    As for work, sadly I have not been successful at that either. I do like working outside of the home, but I tend to have trouble doing my job well enough for my employers' liking, no matter how hard I try, and no matter what field of work it is. It's terribly frustrating when you're career oriented but unsuccessful in your career. (not to mention the resulting financial problems!) So actually I would like to have a guy in my life who has a steady, decent paying job (I'm not a gold digger - he doesn't have to be super rich or anything - just would like someone who can help me out when I need it.) I'd still want to work outside of the home when I can (and avoid cooking and cleaning!), but it'd be nice to have another income to fall back on for when I am struggling like I am now.

    As for my not liking kids, I think that is partly because I'm an only child and wasn't around other kids growing up, and in school I was the outcast kid (well, one of the outcast kids - there were several...) I also hate the noise. That as I later found out, wasn't about little kids specifically, but about the noise level in general. One year in college I was on a dorm floor with a bunch of girls who would run up and down the halls screaming at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason, and I had to take headache medicine EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

    Oh, and where I work now, I used to work with 13 men and only one other woman... it's changed now. I now work with 11 men and NO other women! I joke about loving that ratio... but of course I don't date co-workers or anything so it's beside the point. :biggrin1: (although a couple of them are rather easy on the eyes!) I'm doing ok at this job but it's temporary...
     
    #19 whatireallywant, Dec 12, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2009
  20. dolfette

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    wow!
    i know what you mean about it being thrust down your throat though. i'm making sure my girlbelieves she can do anything and my boy knows how to cook for himself...it's just as unfair to never teach a boy the basics of house keeping.
     
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