Anybody can make something from nothing.
If it is not a problem between my partner and me, then I'd hold my head up high and teach my children to do the same. (I'm sure there would be women, and men, in the town envious of me/him.) As far as the "you're a sinner" folks? Fuck'em... I try not to judge, and not gonna waste my time trying to justify anything to anyone. It is what it is... either you accept it or don't. If you don't, then just kindly keep on walking by.
The person reconizing them from their "secret stash"? What's the problem there? What the pornstar does is done in the open... the other guy is the one with the guilt, if there is a problem.
You know that kids listen to their parents talk about other people and that's where the bullying can come in... "I heard my dad say your dad was a porn star" (probably not fully even understanding what the words mean, but knowing from the tone of the conversation it MUST be something terrible!) Parents really should be more careful what we teach our children and how we talk about others in front of them. And is really is a shame that something like that would be brought to attention before the parents felt the timing was right to discuss it.
You know what? Life is hard.... but if there are two people who truly love one another, they can overcome any obstacle, together.
FP