How would you handle this?

[B_subgirrl]

I love you helga! Thank you for pointing out in a few sentences what i rambled about! lol

And thank you to YOU nicodemous, for saying everything I was thinking, but didn't bother typing. I don't think there was a single point in your post that I disagreed with.

Many hugs for your younger self.

The age of consent in Texas is 17 (for both straight and gay sex). Also a lower age applies when the age gap between partners is small. We both were 15 at the time. She turned 17 a couple months before me - I certainly would not "cry rape" when I was 16 years and 10 months.

You seem a little confused in this post. Were you 15 or almost 17?

What is the 'lower age' that you mentioned? How exactly does that law work?

If you weren't of legal age, you weren't of legal age - it doesn't matter if you were almost the age of consent. If she was over the age of consent and you were under it, she was committing a crime.

 

[DavidXL]

This smells like wank fodder to me, as someone else suggested. But, you asked for people's thoughts on how to handle to it, so I'll bite. You shouldn't be carrying on like this with a kid in the house, and the mother shouldn't be allowing it. The kid's coming to grips with his own sexuality and shouldn't have to be dealing with - or listening to - his mother's at the same time. You seem to be getting a rise out of having this kid know you are banging his mother. I have no idea what kind of damage that can cause a kid, but I can't imagine that it is healthy in any way. The mother is entitled to a sex life, but she should be discreet about it and not parade her sex partners though her child's life. You should not be enabling her in this lack of discretion and lack of regard for what's good for her kid. Yes, it's the mother's responsibility, but people have obligations to other human beings and you can't just get a pass by saying "her problem, not mine."

I'm not saying don't have sex with her. I'm saying you shouldn't have it when her child is around unless you're her husband. You said you don't want to go somewhere else, because it would be "dishonest." I don't see how making it perfectly clear to this kid that his mom's getting banged in the next room is the type of honesty anyone needs.

 

[D_Peverell Piledriver]

And thank you to YOU nicodemous, for saying everything I was thinking, but didn't bother typing. I don't think there was a single point in your post that I disagreed with.

Many hugs for your younger self.




You seem a little confused in this post. Were you 15 or almost 17?

What is the 'lower age' that you mentioned? How exactly does that law work?

If you weren't of legal age, you weren't of legal age - it doesn't matter if you were almost the age of consent. If she was over the age of consent and you were under it, she was committing a crime.

In Texas, if you are both 15, authorities will look the other way. Same holds true if you both are 16.

A year apart in age the same holds true (1 being 15 and the other 16).

Like I was, she turned 17 two months before me, again the authorities will look the other way.

Check out http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm and be sure to look at the footnote for Texas. Every state is different.

Indeed, if the authorities (some ultraconservative) would attempt to prosecute it is only a Class C misdemeanor.

Also note male/male sex and female/female sex fall under the same provision.

 

[B_subgirrl]

In Texas, if you are both 15, authorities will look the other way. Same holds true if you both are 16.

A year apart in age the same holds true (1 being 15 and the other 16).

Like I was, she turned 17 two months before me, again the authorities will look the other way.

Check out http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm and be sure to look at the footnote for Texas. Every state is different.

Indeed, if the authorities (some ultraconservative) would attempt to prosecute it is only a Class C misdemeanor.

Also note male/male sex and female/female sex fall under the same provision.

Thanks for providing the further info. I think it's important that young people think about ALL aspects of having sex. Including the legal implications if under age.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Hm. I'm not sure how I'd handle this. I'd say it's mostly moms call, but that you should express your concerns to her so she's even aware of the situation. Part of me is wondering why you're having sex loud enough for him to hear in the first place... my boyfriend and I are always wickedly quiet. lol. Quiet enough that no one outside our room can hear, but... we also have a hall closet and bathroom between my room and my sons room, so that's a great buffer for sound. I guess if the rooms are RIGHT next to each other, there's little you can do. Just discuss it with his mom and see what she thinks. :smile:

 

[popgoestheweasle]

Well if you plan on having a long term relationship.... then be nice to him... offer to buy him things that he may want ..also tell him on a few conditions(do good in school, stay out of trouble and so on).... if he likes video games play with him (build a bond)...remember when you see a women with children....the children become your responsibility to a degree....its the mothers responsibility to discipline him ...but it wouldnt hurt for you to kill the spark before it turns into a fire....the most important thing to worry about with young teens is watching there attitude...teens that get mad often and stay mad....its a sign that he may grow up with serious issues ...staying mad all the time is not mentally healthy and thats were alot of parents fail ...life consumes there time in so may ways they didn't or don't know how to deal with a mad or depress child...

Weasle

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

I'm a 25 year old guy and have been having sex with a 35 year old woman.
The sex has been great for the both of us.

The problem is that she has a 13 year old son and he is obviously not stupid and knows what is going on. He has seen us the morning after when the both of us get up. Sometimes I get this s**t eating grin from
him and at times does make me feel uncomfortable.

How would you handle this? He probably is jerking off in his room when I'm having sex with his mother.

Don't tell me that we should go somewhere else to have sex - that strikes me of being dishonest.

i definitely think that you need to talk to his mother about it first...it's her son and it's her call...maybe you should take your game somewhere else for a while..it's not dishonest...it's called privacy

 

[Hoss]

I'm a 25 year old guy and have been having sex with a 35 year old woman.
The sex has been great for the both of us.

The problem is that she has a 13 year old son and he is obviously not stupid and knows what is going on. He has seen us the morning after when the both of us get up. Sometimes I get this s**t eating grin from
him and at times does make me feel uncomfortable.

How would you handle this? He probably is jerking off in his room when I'm having sex with his mother.

.

Maybe you could get him some really snug in-ear earphones .

The "snug in-ear earphones" and an MP3 player is a BAD IDEA.
.

Never tells us why this is a bad idea. If he thinks the boy is hearing them, then why is it a bad idea getting a sound blocker?


Then again DalDud214 has made posts (recent) about his J/O buddies ( http://www.lpsg.org/3068872-post289.html )
and that they usually become his fuck buddies (http://www.lpsg.org/3068860-post457.html ) . Great man here, he's plowing the fields with this woman and maybe leaving fertilizer picked up from a man. I have a feeling she has no idea what he does elsewhere and still he claims he's ready for a committed LTR.

I'm still mightly disturbed that he hasn't explained why he linked the idea about the boy masturbating while he has sex with the mom, that was plain sick.

 

[D_Peverell Piledriver]

Well if you plan on having a long term relationship.... then be nice to him... offer to buy him things that he may want ..also tell him on a few conditions(do good in school, stay out of trouble and so on).... if he likes video games play with him (build a bond)...remember when you see a women with children....the children become your responsibility to a degree....its the mothers responsibility to discipline him ...but it wouldnt hurt for you to kill the spark before it turns into a fire....the most important thing to worry about with young teens is watching there attitude...teens that get mad often and stay mad....its a sign that he may grow up with serious issues ...staying mad all the time is not mentally healthy and thats were alot of parents fail ...life consumes there time in so may ways they didn't or don't know how to deal with a mad or depress child...

Weasle

Finally, someone agrees with me. I spoke to her last night about it and she agrees that it would be a GREAT IDEA. Friday (tomorrow) night I'm going to devote most of the evening to him. Plan on getting a copy of "Medal of Honor" video game for his PS3 and order some pizza and see what happens. I think it will turn out great. The "shit eating" grim may be a sign of approval.

I feel I'm into this for the long term and she may be the one I may want to settle down with. But I need her son's approval.

The idea of a "quick fuck now and then" disappeared a some time ago.

Wish me luck tomorrow night.

 

[D_Peverell Piledriver]

Never tells us why this is a bad idea. If he thinks the boy is hearing them, then why is it a bad idea getting a sound blocker?


Then again DalDud214 has made posts (recent) about his J/O buddies ( http://www.lpsg.org/3068872-post289.html )
and that they usually become his fuck buddies (http://www.lpsg.org/3068860-post457.html ) . Great man here, he's plowing the fields with this woman and maybe leaving fertilizer picked up from a man. I have a feeling she has no idea what he does elsewhere and still he claims he's ready for a committed LTR.

I'm still mightly disturbed that he hasn't explained why he linked the idea about the boy masturbating while he has sex with the mom, that was plain sick.

The gay part of my life with my fuck buddy is becoming less and less important to me.

 

[popgoestheweasle]

Good Luck ... Don't give in right away ..if he is still difficult...just stay positive with him and if the mother wants to learn to play have the kid teach her ...but don't make it about you and her ...he has to be the center of attention....make it a family game night ...if the mother has difficulty picking up the game ... (go shopping for games she can play too)...ask the kid if he would like to play this or something that his mom could join in like easy games until she can catch up to speed...that way its fun for everyone

 

[helgaleena]

Came back to the thread the day after. Hope the night went smoothly and many happy years lie a head for all three of you Texans.

 

[chefgreg]

There is nothing to handle it's not your job!

 

[D_Peverell Piledriver]

Update: I followed POPGOESTHEWEASELS's advise which agreed with mine.

Things went very well, better than I thought they would.

This is all true with no exaggeration.

Friday after work went over to his mom's place before she got home to pick him up. Yes, his mom was OK with that. We were going to go to Best Buy to pick out a video game for his PS3.

He was dressed like a "homeless person". "Go put on some decent clothes before we go". He comes out with a clean pair of 501s, but they looked like they were slept in. Asked him to pull out the ironing board, iron, and some spray starch. Had him slip off the 501s and showed him how to make them look the way they should --- heavily starched with a nice crease. It always pays to look good!

Then we went over to my house as I needed to change clothes.

As I opened my closet, there was a pair of my ACUs (Air Combat Uniform) which he saw. ACUs are very similar to the Army's BDUs (Battle Dress Uniform). Also saw my Dress Blues with my silver bars. "You in the Army"? Told him no, I spend time every month for one weekend in the Air Force Reserve. "You ever have to kill and bad guys"? "No, I work at a deskjob". I have not even gotten around to tell his mom this.

Changed into my 501s and a golf shirt and we are off.

Went over to Best Buy and he was interested in "Call of Duty 4 - Modern Warfare". Tells me it supposed to be a "badass game" (his words). Sounds good to me as I don't know one from the other. Pickup up the game and started to say "Let's go, son". But caught myself! Almost a Freudian slip!

Noticed that he seems to like "fast cars". I just have a 1 year old Toyota Camry.

Went back to his mom's apt and she just got home. After a while, ordered some pizzas to be delivered. Watched a little TV waiting for the pizzas. 13 year olds sure have an appetite!

He pulled out his PS3 and we started playing the game -- his mom is better than I am at it. Obviously, he was much better at it than us. That went on for several hours and the three of us watched TV until maybe 10 PM.

He really seemed enjoyed the evening -- it was all about him! That's as it should be.

Stayed the night with his mom. In the morning he says "Good Morning, LT". Was a little suprised! Alot of people call me LT - many don't know why. Took the 3 of us to breakfast a Golden Coral for the breakfast buffet. He sure can eat!

Things went very well and am very happy about it. Wondering what am I getting myself into?

I'm not some 25-year old jerk that sleeps around with everyone in town!

 

[Tee&A]

I don't hold her 13-year old son in little regard! I just want him to know that I'm not just there to fuck his mom and leave.

Have you--honestly--made the effort to act like you aren't just there to fuck his mother? Because from what I've read I keep seeing things about the SEX with his mother, the mind-blowing SEX she gives that is so great that it's loud enough for the 13-year old to hear it and that particular SEX she slams on you is so fan-fucking (pun intended) tabulous that you are considering going completely hetero. Then you bring his sexual behavior into it by suggesting that it bothers you that he may be doing the stroke to the sounds of you fucking his mother, but he shouldn't be bothering you with his shit-eating-grins that are (supposedly) due to him being able to hear you fucking his mother, even though you aren't just there to fuck her and leave...hm.

If you aren't just there for the poon, how often do you spend any time with the kid? How much do you talk to him? Because er-uh, if you really aren't there just for a fuck-and-go, I would imagine that you've spent enough time with the boy to know from whence his "shit-eating-grin" stems, or have a close enough relationship to be able to ask him what it's about and not assume. Just my two pennies.

 

[D_Peverell Piledriver]

Have you--honestly--made the effort to act like you aren't just there to fuck his mother? Because from what I've read I keep seeing things about the SEX with his mother, the mind-blowing SEX she gives that is so great that it's loud enough for the 13-year old to hear it and that particular SEX she slams on you is so fan-fucking (pun intended) tabulous that you are considering going completely hetero. Then you bring his sexual behavior into it by suggesting that it bothers you that he may be doing the stroke to the sounds of you fucking his mother, but he shouldn't be bothering you with his shit-eating-grins that are (supposedly) due to him being able to hear you fucking his mother, even though you aren't just there to fuck her and leave...hm.

If you aren't just there for the poon, how often do you spend any time with the kid? How much do you talk to him? Because er-uh, if you really aren't there just for a fuck-and-go, I would imagine that you've spent enough time with the boy to know from whence his "shit-eating-grin" stems, or have a close enough relationship to be able to ask him what it's about and not assume. Just my two pennies.

You don't have to make loud noises for him to realize what is going on. If he sees you in the morning, he knows.

I now plan on spending more quality time with him. Also, plan on trying to find something he may be interested in next weekend. The hard part is not to "act like his father" and also not to act like a "big brother, 12 years older than him". It's a delicate balance.

Suspect that the "shit eating" grin is that "everything is cool" with him. He's not stupid, just doesn't know how to express it in words - he's 13. Glad that he spoke to me this morning.

As far as "considering going completely hetero" - I don't know if that can be done - but you surely can suppress any desires and not act on them. If that's what you mean - the answer is YES!

 

[B_New End]

How would you handle this? He probably is jerking off in his room when I'm having sex with his mother.

Umm.. just... no. Been in that situation, and, no.

 

[D_CountVonBhigBohner]

wow, so a couple of observations:

1. You are having sex with a woman much older than you.
2. You seem to be concerned with the "shit eating" grin you are getting from her 13 year old son.
3. You are assuming he's "probably jerking off in his room"....not sure why you think this, or are you thinking "about" this while banging his mother.
4. Your profile says you are 50% gay, 50% straight.

hmmm

 

[B_subgirrl]

Glad to hear the bonding session went well DallasDude. Nice to hear you're putting the effort in and you're getting a good response.

 

[D_Delbert Dingleberry]

I'm a 25 year old guy and have been having sex with a 35 year old woman.
The sex has been great for the both of us.

The problem is that she has a 13 year old son and he is obviously not stupid and knows what is going on. He has seen us the morning after when the both of us get up. Sometimes I get this s**t eating grin from
him and at times does make me feel uncomfortable.

How would you handle this? He probably is jerking off in his room when I'm having sex with his mother.

Don't tell me that we should go somewhere else to have sex - that strikes me of being dishonest.

sigh

I would think about my actions and the fact that I am affecting the mind of a child and that the situation is far more serious than the needs that I or my fuck buddy may have.

I would not have a relationship with a mother of a child until and unless I was able to have it while being a positive influence on the child. Children may hear married parents having sex. The concern that I would have is less about the need for privacy. It is more that your post sounds as though you are having casual sex with this woman and are concerned for privacy. But not about the affect that you may be having on the child.

I mean, c'mon -- you're asking the members of the forum for large penis guys how to handle this?

And you're concerned with being honest?

Are you serious? Are you a serious person?

This is a child. The imagery that you are imprinting on this child's mind may be fundamental to his development, especially his relationship to women, including his mother.

If you do not have a friendship with the child; if you have not talked to him about your relationship to his mother -- if you're someone alien to him who is having sex with his mother that relationship is unhealthy.

To me, it's a demonstration to the child about what are acceptable limits of promiscuity and what role commitment should have. And it defines where his mother should reside in his conception of what is a virtuous woman.

There's nothing wrong with fucking her. As a mother she surely needs it. Take your ass to a hotel or your own damn place to fuck. Don't do it around her children unless they respect and relate to you as a daddy -- and a good daddy at at that. You cheapen her if you do not, and you cheapen her in the eyes of her children. And you cheapen yourself.

And as far as your need for honesty is concerned: this is a child. He's not supposed to have honesty about the sex life of his mother with a fuck buddy. He's not supposed to have a sex life at that age.

There are so many things about being a man, and a man with class, and dignity, and virtue, grace and self respect that are lost in the age of the Internet.

Trust me, I am no better than you, but I speak from the heart and know what I'm talking about: Take it outside. Keep your sex life with that mother out of the child's world. If you are having more than casual sex, if you do feel some commitment to her, have a relationship with her children. They need you.

Ultimately, I'd rather jerk off in the bathroom and be a good influence on the kids than fuck that woman two sheets of 1/2 inch drywall away from the impressionable mind of a child.

That's how i would handle it.

What the fuck. I'm an idiot though.

Your post makes me so sad. For real.