How young is too young?

[quintin]

Is an 18 year old guy too young for a 28 year old guy to date/hook up/be in a relationship with? I ask because i'm 18 and this 28 y/o is really interested in me, but i don't know how i feel about that? I don't think 28 is old by any means, but.. its such a big gap, you know?

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

that is in the end the descision between you two.

Like many will say, age doesn't matter always. You can build a solid friendship/relationship with someone who is younger or older. You just have to realise how both of their lives are and how you can combine that.

In your case, he probably works while you get too college.

I believe in friendships/relationships with an agegap, the effort just has to come from both sides at times :smile:

 

[iloveshemales]

I'm 29, I had a boyfriend for 1 year and a half, started when I was 27 and he was 17 and it was good, didnt feel bad at all. It's just you need to have common ground and sometimes a large gap agewise not be so positive, but if you like him, why not give it a try?

 

[nudeyorker]

It's difficult to say, Do you share common interests? How much do you have in common with him vs. differences? Do you enjoy each others company? It won't hurt to go on a date to find out. It might lead to something or it might not. Nothhing ventured nothing gained. You will find as the years go by the difference in 10 years is very narrow.

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

I don't see anything wrong with 18 and 28. It's only 10 years which is not a huge age gap at all. I've dated all sorts of men of all different ages. I like older men but not old enough to be my grandfather.

 

[Amber1]

I don't think its too old by any means....its not that bigger gap. U just have to give it a go and see how u get along as NudeYorker said nothin ventured....

 

[Bbucko]

This thread reminds me of why I'd never relive my late teens and early 20s.

In response to the OP, there's a thin line between appreciation and exploitation of teens. This applies whether we're discussing a ten-month age difference and a ten-year age difference. This is because younger adults haven't gained enough experience to adequately assess the motives of those who mean harm.

It's a long, tough learning curve, and one that is made easier by keeping your romantic associations to your peers (or near-peers). FWIW, I don't think I've fucked anyone under 25 since I was about that age, too. And I can't imagine doing it now.

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

Let's ask Portland, OR, mayor Sam Adams.

 

[SEXXXX]

Let's ask Portland, OR, mayor Sam Adams.

they use the word "transgression"

 

[Ineligible]

More precisely, "civic transgression". I wonder what they mean by that?

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

I was with an 18 year old and while the age itself wasn't an issue the maturity level soon became very obvious and caused problems.

 

[hud01]

It's difficult to say, Do you share common interests? How much do you have in common with him vs. differences? Do you enjoy each others company? It won't hurt to go on a date to find out. It might lead to something or it might not. Nothhing ventured nothing gained. You will find as the years go by the difference in 10 years is very narrow.

Great post. Sometimes at 18, a 23 year old can seem old, but at 30, 10 years, is nothing.

When I was younger I hung around with people who were 8 or more years older. It helped me mature and showed me many things that I didn't know or understand at 19. Some of my friends at that time were in their mid-thirties.

As I have gotten older I have actually dated younger and younger. Much of that has to do with the population. There are more girls under 30 available.

 

[SpeedoMike]

a 20 yo lady came on to me at age 35 and we both enjoyed the relationship.

 

[Rubenesque]

There is no right or wrong answer on this issue. As you're legally adult YOU can choose to date anyone of any age, and that's the point, you have to decide what is right for you.

 

[ejection_handle]

Bucko and Lee M are spot on. Ten years is not a huge gap between mature adults. However at these ages 18 and 28 it is hard to say either is such. Hell an 18yo can be more mature than a 28yo in a lot of cases, but in a lot of cases a 28yo can be 10 times more mature than an 18yo. Yes this can be true for any scenario but more likely in this one. Its a true generation gap in this case also. Not so much a generation gap in relativity when talking about 28 and 38, 38 and 48, or 48 and 58.

 

[avi8tor]

It depends person to person. My ex was 18 when i was 40. We were together for nearly 2 yrs, only ended when i moved to the UAE. But he was super sensible and very mature

 

[zawfi]

This thread reminds me of why I'd never relive my late teens and early 20s.

In response to the OP, there's a thin line between appreciation and exploitation of teens. This applies whether we're discussing a ten-month age difference and a ten-year age difference. This is because younger adults haven't gained enough experience to adequately assess the motives of those who mean harm.

It's a long, tough learning curve, and one that is made easier by keeping your romantic associations to your peers (or near-peers). FWIW, I don't think I've fucked anyone under 25 since I was about that age, too. And I can't imagine doing it now.

This is a nice, thoughtful response and reminds me of some things I haven't considered since my 20s. But I do remember that at 21, a guy 10 years older than me seemed very old.

In the end, it really does have to do with the differences in social sophistication and maturity, and your own personal feelings on the subject, rather than just the number of years between you. The years are just a guideline rather than a deciding factor. Never hurts to strike up a friendship though, couple of dates, and see where it goes. Just don't force it. If it doesn't seem right to you, there's no reason to continue it.

Oh, and by the way: If you decide you aren't suited for each other, it doesn't reflect negatively on you (or him). Don't read comments about level of maturity in this thread as a reference to some weakness. It's just a fact that people are still "growing" as adults in many ways well into their 20s or beyond.

 

[Channelwood]

If you're asking the question, then you likely have some conflict and issues with the age difference, and the answer is you probably shouldn't.

There's nothing fundamentally wrong with a large age difference, as long as both parties are mature enough that there's no age exploitation involved. I've known 16 year olds that were more adept and mature at handling relationships than some 30 year olds ... so I don't consider chronological age to be the sole deciding factor.

But if you percieve it to be a problem, then it is a problem. Can you hang out as friends until you get to know the guy better? Your qualms may abate, at which time you'll be in a much better place to have a relationship. Or you may come to decide it's an insurmountable obstacle, and then it's easier to let it drop.

 

[StormyB]

I'm alittle scared to comment deeply on this subject because it's such a touchy one, but I will say "Don't let your mind's thoughts hold your heart's feelings in contempt" :smile:

 

[Viking_UK]

As a few other posters have said it's different for different people. Some mature at a much younger age than others and some never seem to mature at all. The only way you'll find out if it's right for you to see this guy is to start dating and see how it goes.

From personal experience, a ten year age gap isn't a problem with the right partner. With the wrong partner a much smaller age gap can be a larger problem. When I was 21, I lived with a 34-year-old woman for two years. We had a great time and nearly got married, but in the end personal differences and the fact that I'm into guys kind of called time on that relationship. Age had nothing to do with it though.