I've been trying to decide whether to cut my losses and run, rather than dig myself in even deeper,
but I wanted to respond to a few things. That original comment was made months ago, and it's strange
to come back to it now.
Flame incoming: Lipoatrophy is not a sign of 'AIDS' - its possibly a sign of HIV, but
its most probably a sign of being on treatments for HIV. The fact that someone is on treatment for HIV
is not a reason to suggest that they have an 'AIDS face'- they are only doing the right thing by themselves
by taking medication to fight the virus. A person cant help the onset of side-effects such as lipoatrophy
from toxic HIV meds, and they are difficult enough to live with without having to deal with insensitive
remarks regarding AIDS. A person on HIV meds can be as healthy AND uninfectious as an HIV negative
man, with the same healthy t-cells and no measurably active virus in their blood- but the side effects will
stamp them with 'the look' that everyone can read as 'poz- its a cruel irony.
I actually fully understand all of that, and I apologise if it seemed like I didn't. I also apologise for the
insensitivity of the comments.
All i mean to say is that the knowledge that someone is HIV+ is going to be one of many factors that will
make it less likely for me to have sex with that someone. It's a simple matter of self-preservation.
There is a qualitative difference between knowing that someone
might possibly have something infectious
(as is the case in any sexual contact ever, or even non-sexual contact for that matter), and knowing for certain
that someone definitely
does have something infectious, such as HIV. In the case of the former, you take all
necessary precautions and you take your chances, or else you never touch anyone again and you become
like the guy with the cling film out of
Jeffrey.
But the fact for me is that, if I know someone is HIV+, it's gonna make my dick wilt. That's not to say that
person is not as deserving of love and life and happiness as everyone else - just that the thought that a
potential partner carries an infectious disease is not an erotic one to me.
And you say that even a person who clearly has had HIV treatment may not in fact be infectious anymore.
That may well be and probably is true, but I'm afraid that perception is often stronger than truth, and I'm
more likely than not still going to avoid sex with that person.
I state all of the above as my own personal feelings on the matter, and I do not expect my opinions to be
made law. I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying this is how I feel.
It never ceases to amaze me how guys will shun having safe sex with an openly or
obviously positive guy because he's positive, but then go ahead and have unprotected sex with a stranger
who looks 'hunky' (read 'healthy' or that other overused euphemism, 'clean')- but who could just as
easily be positive as well (whether he knows it or not).
To be clear, i have never ever ever done that. I never ever have unprotected sex with anyone,
regardless of how "healthy" they look. It's because of that that I am still HIV- even after 15 years of
being a raging slut. (Well, that and what even I admit is tremendous good luck, since I'm fully aware it
can still happen even with all the precautions in the world.)
I have probably had sex with many HIV+ men in my life, for all I know. I usually don't ask, because I'm
going to be safe anyway, so it shouldn't matter. Unfortunately, it
does matter, whether it should or not,
and if it's staring me right in the face thanks to lipo-atrophy, then I'm afraid it's going to put me off.
As for the guy this thread was originally about, he states in his escort ad that he's always safe, and
that's a very very good thing. On closer inspection, he may or may not have lipo-atrophy, I can't really
tell, and it was an insensitive comment. But he's ugly anyway, so it's moot.
Being an HIV+ guy myself...I find you to be repulsive..just with your words.
Well, seeing as you present yourself to the world with the initials BB, which i take to stand for bareback,
then frankly I find you repulsive too. Not for being HIV+, but for presenting yourself to the world as a
"barebacker" as if it is some kind of badge of honor that is a good thing to be.
(If it in fact does not stand for that, then I take that back, but the fact remains that it
seems to, and that's
not anything I find admirable in the least.)