Humiliation in Swinging Scenes

[MisterMark]

That is a rude thing to say! The past of germany has nothing to do with this and especially not with the people who are living there now.

And btw, check your geography, Belgium isn't Germany. In Belgium we also speak Dutch as native language, not German.

lol.. Oh, sorry. I thought you were in Germany.

I was really just kidding, but I wasn't talking about the past either. I don't think that schadenfreude is something of the past. It's present in most cultures today.

 

[Xcuze]

If you do swinging, make sure you relationship can have that kind of stuff going on.

I agree. Swinging is not for the faint hearted or insecure. People know if they have a tendency to be jealous, possessive or insecure about their physicalities. If u have any hint of these then bringing a stranger into your bed will sure as hell bring your insecurities to the fore.

So avoid swinging!

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

So avoid swinging!

Correction: avoid swinging if you can't handle it too well.

 

[Xcuze]

Correction: avoid swinging if you can't handle it too well.

Well thats what I was saying! :tongue:

 

[D_Hyacinth Harrytwat]

The OP stated that he felt inadequate but that he also enjoyed the thought later. It's not an instant regret. It's a lot more complex than that. If it was as simple as a regret, it would be clear to him to stop swinging, I'm sure!

Frankly, I don't see the OP asking for any advice on whether or not to continue swinging or not.

What I do understand is that the OP is not alone in his thoughts and realizations from his experience. This topic appears pretty often in my inbox and I've just accepted that it happens. I might even understand why someday!

 

[B_625girth]

short term gratification followed by long term misery. some guy will always have a bigger cock. I have never seen an open marriage, remain open and go full term. sooner or later, it's divorce or stop swinging.

 

[MisterMark]

The first time I was involved in a three-way, it was with two guys who I had already had sex with individually. Neither of them had had sex with each other in the past. So, because they were "new" to each other, they interacted more with each other than with me, and I felt a little left out.

Now I guess some of you here would say, "You shouldn't have gotten involved in a three-way then. You should have known that you might have felt left out." Well, no, you see, because I'm capable of having experiences, having mixed feelings about some of those experiences, and then learning something about myself, and handling it better the next time around.

I did have more three-way encounters in the future, and they all were more satisfying because of what I learned from my first encounter.

See how that works? :smile:

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

The first time I was involved in a three-way, it was with two guys who I had already had sex with individually. Neither of them had had sex with each other in the past. So, because they were "new" to each other, they interacted more with each other than with me, and I felt a little left out.

Now I guess some of you here would say, "You shouldn't have gotten involved in a three-way then. You should have known that you might have felt left out." Well, no, you see, because I'm capable of having experiences, having mixed feelings about some of those experiences, and then learning something about myself, and handling it better the next time around.

I did have more three-way encounters in the future, and they all were more satisfying because of what I learned from my first encounter.

See how that works? :smile:

A different case, you weren't married with one of the guys.

It's is stragen that those guys pay more attention to each other then on the one they know already.

 

[MisterMark]

It's is stragen that those guys pay more attention to each other then on the one they know already.

I didn't think so. They had already "done" me, so I was less interesting to both of them.

 

[averagepeck]

While Pieter's initial post may come off a bit harsh, I agree with the premise behind what he is saying. If you, as a smaller or average-sized man, willingly let your wife have sex with a larger man, there must be some part of you that knows going in that your wife might really enjoy this, and that jealousy might creep in. I know if I saw a larger cocked man fucking my gf and her going wild in a way she never does with me, jealousy would certainly creep in for me. Knowing that, I wouldn't be a willing participant in that scenario. If you are deliberately seeking out a larger size man to fuck your wife/gf, you're doing it knowing that she will get something she can't get from you, and if you can't handle the aftermath, it's best not to get into that scenario to begin with.

 

[deleted356736]

I don't know if it is that logical to foresee this before it happens. Time and again average-sized men hear that size doesn't matter, but larger men knows this is rubbish and size really does matter. Women say size doesn't matter for a number of reasons. They don't want to seem like they're driven by a really basic urge like the pleaseure of a big cock inside them. They don't want to hurt the feelings of 90% of the men they have sex with. They don't know that a bigger penis feels better because they've not yet had sex with a well-hung man.

And then you go swinging and she has sex with this big guy and then she discovers what most men on the site know. Size matters, especially if he knows how to use it.

 

[deleted365297]

**INSENSITIVITY WARNING** IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE INSENSITIVITY DON'T READ THIS POST:

Anybody ever listened to traditional wedding vows?? Anyone ever heard the part about "forsaking all others?" I don't feel too bad for him. Besides, like it was already pointed out, the guy did it more than once, AND the guy got off on the thought! Haha. I love the arguments. They make me laugh.

**INSENSITIVITY WARNING: END**

 

[Khana]

short term gratification followed by long term misery. some guy will always have a bigger cock. I have never seen an open marriage, remain open and go full term. sooner or later, it's divorce or stop swinging.

I question this. Not questioning whether it's true (you did specify merely that you haven't personally seen it), I question the conclusion.

Just because people stop swinging after a while doesn't mean swinging is bad. They could stop swinging for a ton of reasons. And divorce doesn't say much, either, considering so many people, swingers and otherwise, get divorced.

I have an open relationship with my husband, and it's a ton of fun. But it's just that... fun. Not every "game" of different sorts is equally fun every time. Take sports, for instance. People play sports for fun, but sometimes, there's just a bad game, and it's pure frustration. Does that mean the game is worthless? No.

Same thing with swinging. If it's just a game to you, then even occasional sour experiences are all good.

And not everyone gets jealous, either. We had this three-way with a 33 year old woman (my husband and I are 23/22, respectively). That woman was experienced. She ended up giving him a blowjob that was way above and beyond anything I'd ever given him. So, we finish the 3-way, and afterwards, I ask her about her techniques. She ended up showing me, on my finger, the sort of motions she'd done. I went and practiced on my husband for a few days, and managed to incorporate those techniques into my own repertoire.

Sure, I felt a touch of jealousy for about 30 seconds. But then, I got over it, and gained a serious long term benefit. I honestly hadn't realized I could use the throat muscles in that particular fashion, and that knowledge has helped.

 

[jdoe86]

A true swinger (guy) isn't a stuck up asshole who goes around fucking other guy's wives just to make the guy jealous. the swinger lifestyle is mutual respect for the partnership a couple has and the sex is for the enjoyment of all. I've had a lot of threesomes and I have (most of the time) been a lot thicker and longer than the guy, but I have never showed off just to make someone jealous/pissed off. If I want a return visit to the couple, making sure everyone has had fun is more important.

 

[D_76froy]

You know, if you enjoy swinging, do it with another couple sometimes. I bet even if you have a small or average cock that you could rock some woman's world with your tongue on her pussy/clit. I can usually make a woman cum multiple times just licking and sucking her clit. By the time I slide my cock in their cunts they're so hot they start cumming again - and I don't think it matters how big my cock is most of the time (except for real size queens).

-Ranger

 

[D_Themistacles Wombbroom]

Thanks for the support from Mr Mark amd BIMMF. At the time i was only 25 yo and my wife 23 yo. I was still learning about what turns me on so that's why I ended up ambivalent and weird. So i liked the idea very, very much yet the reality was something i had not planned for. LIke i said my wife's reaction was way more intense than i expected. So a whole year goes by before I want to live out my fantasy again, hoping only this time I will get hard and enjoy it too.

So this time i get hard but not strongly and I am enjoying it but not THAT much and now I am again watching my wife go nuts. So now i think well...i am not enjoying it ENOUGH to risk my wife getting addcited, so i said no more -that's truely it. Over,

So that is when my wife began cheating with this guy - you can't quite blame her. But the point is that is was new to me. LIke getting over the taste and burn of alcohol before you begin to like the feeling of it.

 

[D_Themistacles Wombbroom]

And I forgot to tell you guys that now that I am okay with this, It is still one of my favorite jerk off fantasies!

For perspective, I was 26 at the time of the incident and at 32 I was okay with it. I am 58 now - a good looking, young looking, fit 58 - and would love for her to do it again.

 

[fourfingers]

If you and your wife are into other men fucking her, then look for guys who are not egomaniacs but who are respectful of all involved. Such guys are really out there.

Yes, yes..me for instance. :bigok: