HI! Im a 39 years old hungarian guy. First of all ...let me excuse because of my very poor english. Hope I could express myself as I want and it could be understandable for all who read it . I have registered for some reason. Did that almost 7 days ago but had no guts to write my introduction till now. (Even now my stomack is lifting ) Im starting at the base. I was a very ill-conditioned boy at the early years of my life. Several illness turned up on me (Asthma, serious illness of the kidney etc) so I was raised like a bird in a cage. It mattered what I eat ..had to diet ..special no salty and spicy diet etc. Because of this special diet ...nothing has it tastes except sweets and pastry, pasta. That means I always eating those to experience the taste of a food. It followed that I gained weight. I was a fat kid. Had to skipped a few years in school at the beginning because of the illnesses...so my socialization havent started like any ordinary kids have. So ...I spent many days in my early life at the hospital...and it was raeally hard to get friends that way. When I get school ...I was the "kid who do not do gym class" cause I was unable to do excercises because of my kidney. Then I lived the life of a kid whom sometimes rejected by his classmates. It was hardly find friends. BUt I managed to have my friends later ...we played together , do what kids do in that age. Till a day (probably in the age of 12) Ive realized that some of my friends started puberty - they voice changed funny, they looks changed also... but not mine. For haven's shake I didnt realized that fast cause I was not doing the gym class ..so locker rooms avoided. BUt When I turned 14 ...I was wondered why am I so fat...why my penis is so little (like a6 yrs old) ..didnt understand the situation. My parents worried also ...took me to the doctor and she said everything is normal, we have to just wait and see. I tought its ok I will have my puberty then ...but at the age of 16 I still have that baby fat on me, still have the dicksize of a 6 years old..and a funny high voice. Ive been humiliated because of my dick ...on a nudist beach once. Ive never again go to any beach or swimming pool till then (yes for 27 years Ive never been in any of those). I was hiding...really. Avoiding places like locker rooms or any place where I can find guys with big(bigger) dicks...to avoid humiliation. My classmates make fun of my tiny penis after one of them realized that I have a small one (it happened in the school toilet) and start to spread that I must be gay. Imagine that. That hurted me sooo much. Not even I have the smallest penis, Im said to be gay....pathetic. I was thinkin about suicide. I was madly love in one of my classmate girl...she was so beautyful. And when I was asking her a date ...she said: oh gosh I have a boyfrend..and I tought you have one too ... I was hurted like hell. I tought I could die. But Ive started to grow some pubic hair when I turned to 17...and my penis started to grow. But that insecurity was still inside of me because of my penis. Certainly Ive j/o and watch porn magazines, phantasies about girls...but I always had to come to the conclusion that I cant be with any girls.. So I live my life ...my penis growth to 6,1' and 5,5' girth ..(wich is I think not bad...not big, but ok ) but my insecurity never vanished. I always blame myself for everything. I hate myself, I hate to be as I am. Cannot accept myself. Now that is a reason why am I here. To accept myself ...and accept that people lives around me. To accept that other guys have big ones and its ok. Its not against me ..its not my fault. And I dont have to worry about myself. So here I am ... Sorry about the wall of text here. Hope it have meanings Have a nice day to you!