Hurts her every time

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Imported, Mar 2, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    bigguy: I'm not sure what I expect, but I figured this was a good place to post for help.

    I've been with my girl for nine years now, yet every time we have sex, it hurts.  No matter what the foreplay, lube, etc. we've used.  We've tried astroglide, KY, etc.  No luck.  Over time, it's made her more reluctant to have sex.  She finds it pleasurable, but after nine years she's tired of being sore the next day.  

    Any ideas or suggestions?  I've asked her to speak to her gynecologist about it, but so far she's been "too embarrassed".  
     
  2. Imported

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    shortchanged: You said she enjoys the sex, but doesn't like being sore the next day.......

    so..........do the deed and THEN get her drunk the next day!  :p
     
  3. jonb

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    Then she'd have a hangover.
     
  4. Imported

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    Doubtless_Mouse: Actually this is a good question. I have been married for going on 11 years, and my wife tells me it has been hurting for 11 years. We have great sex, but almost always she hurts afterwards (rubbed raw). We too have tried lubes but it didn't help. I fit where I need to fit, but for some reason it hurts after the fact. I understand the mechanics of it, but haven't been able to figure out what to do. Any suggestions would be welcome here as well.
     
  5. Imported

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    shortchanged: Well.....you can decide to have children(i assume you don't already), because in my case before we divorced there was a definite loosening of the vagina after childbirth. Might be just what you bigger guys need to even things up a bit!

    [quote author=Doubtless_Mouse link=board=women;num=1078279900;start=0#3 date=03/06/04 at 05:17:16]Actually this is a good question.  I have been married for going on 11 years, and my wife tells me it has been hurting for 11 years.  We have great sex, but almost always she hurts afterwards (rubbed raw).  We too have tried lubes but it didn't help.  I fit where I need to fit, but for some reason it hurts after the fact.  I understand the mechanics of it, but haven't been able to figure out what to do.  Any suggestions would be welcome here as well.[/quote]
     
  6. Imported

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    namodomok: Have you tried different positions guys (what am I saying? We're men, of course you've tried them all...) I mean with my wife, it's easier if she's on top, then she has control of how deep and fast she wants to go. Also, getting it from behind while lying on her side seems to work. Missionary seems to be the one that hurts the most. But then again I'm not as big as most of you guys....That's my 2 cents....don't know if it will help!
     
  7. Imported

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    Doubtless_Mouse: Lets see, we have two children that didn't help, we have tried every position that a couple can short of ones that require harnesses. Not sure. maybe with some couples children helped, I know with us, it didn't. On the positions, her on top tends to be the worst, spoon tends to be the best but almost all cause pain.

    Thanks
    Mouse
     
  8. hawkgirl

    hawkgirl New Member

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    Adam and Eve is a good lub but I don't think that is the problem

    Have you tried slow short strokes to allow the natural juices to speard and allow the pussy to welcome you b4 you barge into the door.
    Only go in a half inch or so at a time and stay there
    you can pull back as far a you want but slowly and don't go deeper that what you already are. When the pussy is ready for more it will let you know when you feel it loosen up. Or she may coax you to go a little deeper

    VERY IMPORTANT
    Once your all in there don't do crazy
    keep it nice and slow and pull back from time to time and don't give it all to her. This will make it more wet and loose. It may take some months but this will allow her to relax mentally and phsyically. She won't be expecting a jerk here and a jabb there and will be on guard waiting for it.
    Being on guard for the puss jabb keeps you from getting as wet at you could and as loose as you could.
    But once you have practiced this enough for her to feel safe enough to let go it will be better for all. Everyone can relax.
     
  9. Gillette

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    Good advice, hawkgirl, but about three years too late.

    Here's hoping someone else benefits from it.
     
  10. Love-it

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    Relaxation and dilation. Repeat as needed.

    Increase the diameter of the dildos gradually and use lots of lube.

    Vaginal infections, candidiasis, etc. may be present.

    There may be a history of abuse, whether the abuse is sexual, emotional or mental it has a nasty affect on a womans ability to be emotionally and sexaully receptive.

    It has been nearly 33 years for us and she is still trying to figure/work it out.
     
  11. amiegrrl

    amiegrrl New Member

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    Best of luck... I'd go: Gynecologist - Psychologist ... What an unfortunate situation!
     
  12. evoicon06

    evoicon06 New Member

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    she might have a condition called "vaginismus"...which is where the muscle around the vagina tightens up...its like a reflex....from what my gf's doctor says its not uncommon....could be genetic...or psychological...but if u do more research u will find a ton of info...hope this is helpful
     
  13. depeel

    depeel New Member

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    hmmm I had the same thing with my neighbour after a 6 months relationship we broke up. She always told me the sex was great but she too was getting tired of being sore the next day. She could barely sit on a chair and had the feeling that there was still something between her legs. Stupid thing is that I never had this problem with my ex-wife......
     
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