Hypersexuality? HELP ME

Red_Rebel

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I dont know if this is the right place for this but here's to hoping that someone would take me seriously.

I dont know why but everytime that I study or my fullest concentration is required I get extremely horny. Id either masturbate the whole time (to the point that Im shooting blanks and it hurts) or have some crazy sex binge.

I have a huge exam to take in a month and my coping mechanism (which is to wank or get fucked) is not working to mu advantage. This is the 3rd time that Ill be taking this exam because of this destraction. Sometimes I could swear I have ADHD except that I only get distracted by my need to constantly get off. :( And trust me I tried many ways to avoid thinking about sex and focus but it gets so frustrating and its seriously affecting my life. :(

Any suggestions from those that have experienced this would be wonderful. I never talked to my Physician about this because he'll just think that am a horndog.
 

Fuzzy_

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You really should tell your physician. Look them in the eye and be serious. If it effects your lifestyle then it's their obligation to take it seriously; explain how it effects your lifestyle.
 

Scraps_McGee

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Absolutely what fuzzy has said... if it affects you, to the point of interfering with important aspects of your life, it could be a serious problem and one that should be shared with a physician or therapist.
 

danjs584

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It could possibly be a stress coping mechanism. Or it's possible that you are hypersensitive to the dopamine produced which is required for concentration but also increases desire (both sexually and otherwise). Asking a doctor would probably be best and if it is a coping mechanism maybe he/she will refer you to a therapist.
 

FuzzyKen

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In many men this is a stress mechanism. When I was younger, I would tend to do the same thing. When you jack off the rise and fall related to your ejaculation releases a small bolus of endorphins. I am about 60 years old and to this day if I am really stressful I find that either a j/o session or my other half's mouth create at least a momentary come down from the stressful issue.

Where you are having major problems here is that you are completely allowing this mechanism to take control of your life without having it actually create even a moment of relaxation. The sexual release instead of being a diversion simply takes over.

The best bet might be to try a therapist, but on this issue be very careful. You need either a gay or gay accepting therapist. If they start throwing religious or other baloney at you this is just going to do major damage.

What you are dealing with is not unlike stage fright. The major difference is that in this case the fright and coping mechanism is completely destroying your performance in what is necessary.

Understanding of what is going on within you is the first step towards dealing with the issue.
 

SilverTrain

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I dont know if this is the right place for this but here's to hoping that someone would take me seriously.

I dont know why but everytime that I study or my fullest concentration is required I get extremely horny. Id either masturbate the whole time (to the point that Im shooting blanks and it hurts) or have some crazy sex binge.

I have a huge exam to take in a month and my coping mechanism (which is to wank or get fucked) is not working to mu advantage. This is the 3rd time that Ill be taking this exam because of this destraction. Sometimes I could swear I have ADHD except that I only get distracted by my need to constantly get off. :( And trust me I tried many ways to avoid thinking about sex and focus but it gets so frustrating and its seriously affecting my life. :(

Any suggestions from those that have experienced this would be wonderful. I never talked to my Physician about this because he'll just think that am a horndog.

We're often quite prescient as to what ailments befall us. And yet, our denial mechanisms are so well honed!

I'd say you should inquire of your Primary Doc with regards to a referral to a therapist/psychiatrist/etc.
 

Kimahri

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Hey OP. I agree strongly with what FuzzyKen just posted. I am hypersexual only when I'm in a manic phase and I can sympathize with how distracting it is.

Another thing to do is to check with a psychiatrist to see if there are any other mentla health issues. Hyper sexuality is usually accompanied by something else as well.
 

erratic

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You really should tell your physician. Look them in the eye and be serious. If it effects your lifestyle then it's their obligation to take it seriously; explain how it effects your lifestyle.

Yes, yes, yes.

Your physician has heard much more embarrassing stuff, I guarantee, and if s/he is like "Whoa, that's weird!" that's a sure-fire sign you need a new physician anyway.

Red_Rebel, I think you hit it right on the nose: You're using sex as a coping mechanism. You're getting anxious over exams, and sex calms and distracts. The more you use it to calm and distract, the more you will want to use it (to a point; it's not heroin or anything). In effect, anxiety (and boredom - studying can be so very tedious) is like Pavlov ringing his bell, and seeking sex has become your response.

Please note: This is very normal. You are not weird, and what you're doing isn't bad. All people try to avoid anxiety. That's the whole point behind anxiety, isn't it? To make you feel uncomfortable and go do something else?

I agree that seeing a counsellor would be good in the long run. In the short run, try doing other things to chill out instead of masturbating or seeking sex. Set a timer and go for a walk, talk to someone, or whatever else for 15 minutes. You don't need to cut off masturbating or having other sexual activity, but you need to find other time-limited things to do when you need to study.
 

Red_Rebel

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Thank you very much for taking me seriously guys. The thing that I fear is that going to a psychiatrist/therapist would just raise some concern from my family and they can be very conservative when it comes to that. I have been looking into details about Sytirism and it all seem inconclusive and not helpful. At the moment am taking loads of remedies to counteract the issue but I know that it's gonna go nowhere :(
 

Fuzzy_

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Thank you very much for taking me seriously guys. The thing that I fear is that going to a psychiatrist/therapist would just raise some concern from my family and they can be very conservative when it comes to that. I have been looking into details about Sytirism and it all seem inconclusive and not helpful. At the moment am taking loads of remedies to counteract the issue but I know that it's gonna go nowhere :(

Unlike a psychologist, OHIP will cover treatment from a psychiatrist and your parents will not find out (they are not billed or anything). You just need your OHIP card and a referral from any physician (if you feel that you need a psychiatrist).
 

erratic

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I have been looking into details about Sytirism and it all seem inconclusive and not helpful.

I can pretty much guarantee you that you don't have Satyrism. It's a ridiculous, Victorian, heteronormative hold-over from the days of "hysteria", the male counterpart to "nymphomania." It was rightly excluded from the DSM, so there's no way you could be diagnosed with it, living in Canada. (Canada follows the DSM, not the ICD, which for some bizarro reason still includes satyrism as a diagnosis.)

Unlike a psychologist, OHIP will cover treatment from a psychiatrist and your parents will not find out (they are not billed or anything). You just need your OHIP card and a referral from any physician (if you feel that you need a psychiatrist).

You could see a psychiatrist, but you could also look in to hospital services and local community health centres. Hospital services have no fee associated with them (Toronto's Centre for Addiction and Mental Health is an example), as with any branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association. Also, if you're 16 or over, whoever your therapist is is obliged to disclose nothing about you to anyone without your written consent (unless there's an immediate threat of you killing yourself or something like that).
 

Hotlatbtm

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Red Rebel its 'satyrism' and its like a woman who wants it too much, a nympho. A psychiatrist would be better to treat this as it is somehow related to your sexuality. Do you have a Boyfriend ? Is he not satisfying you ? Scraps McGee your HOT HOT HOT
 

nineinch_denver

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I agree with everyone's sentiment.

Taking Vitex (a natural supplement) helped me a little bit, when I increased the dosage, my libido went down. Worthy of note, Vitex is based on something called the 'chasteberry' which is what Monks took a few hundreds of years ago to help reduce the urges.

If it's more serious then, honestly, a therapist will help. Mine is a bit more serious and I'm starting to do some talk therapy to help me get through the crap that caused all this.

Also, therapy should help you talk through the problems but also help you replace the destructive coping mechanisms that you currently use and provide more constructive coping mechanisms that fit you.