Hi guys. I’ve been cruising the forums here for some time now but have never really contributed. I feel like now might be as good of a time as ever because I could really use some solid advice.
To make a really long story (kinda) short... About 7 months ago I was in a coffee shop doing some work. My first coffee was empty so I went up to the counter for a refill. As I was waiting, I heard someone standing behind me in line. I turned around and I honest to god thought I was going crazy. Someone whom I have been a fan of for quite a long time, and have considered to be one of my “celebrity crushes” was standing right fucking behind me. For the sake of not writing a novel here... One thing lead to another, we got to talking, and he actually sat down with me and drank some of his coffee with me before he had to go. The conversation was super casual, but I was in disbelief that it was even happening. Before he left he asked is he could take down my number so we could have coffee again sometime. Again in complete disbelief, I gave it to him. Fast forward to 7 months later and we have now began seeing each other much more often and romantically. Of course, because anything this good always comes with a catch, he’s not out. Not only is he not out, but he does not plan to come out any time soon, and he has made that clear to me.
I’m now at a point where I am developing really strong feelings for this guy, and I want more than anything for this to continue. But I just don’t know if I can deal with the baggage that comes with it. I don’t know if I can handle having to keep everything so secretive, so private, so invisible. Trust me, as a gay man I know how hard it can be to come out for some people. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for someone like him. But I don’t know if I can deal with having to hide my feelings for this guy from everyone in my life, and be hidden from everyone in his. The thought of me being known to the public because of who he is honestly is not even something I care about - It doesn’t matter to me, at all. All I care about is having this great guy who I have such strong feelings for, and continuing what we have. But I just don’t know if I can do it like this.
Any advice, guys? I really just don’t know what the fuck to do, and I can’t turn to anyone I know. What do I do?
To make a really long story (kinda) short... About 7 months ago I was in a coffee shop doing some work. My first coffee was empty so I went up to the counter for a refill. As I was waiting, I heard someone standing behind me in line. I turned around and I honest to god thought I was going crazy. Someone whom I have been a fan of for quite a long time, and have considered to be one of my “celebrity crushes” was standing right fucking behind me. For the sake of not writing a novel here... One thing lead to another, we got to talking, and he actually sat down with me and drank some of his coffee with me before he had to go. The conversation was super casual, but I was in disbelief that it was even happening. Before he left he asked is he could take down my number so we could have coffee again sometime. Again in complete disbelief, I gave it to him. Fast forward to 7 months later and we have now began seeing each other much more often and romantically. Of course, because anything this good always comes with a catch, he’s not out. Not only is he not out, but he does not plan to come out any time soon, and he has made that clear to me.
I’m now at a point where I am developing really strong feelings for this guy, and I want more than anything for this to continue. But I just don’t know if I can deal with the baggage that comes with it. I don’t know if I can handle having to keep everything so secretive, so private, so invisible. Trust me, as a gay man I know how hard it can be to come out for some people. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for someone like him. But I don’t know if I can deal with having to hide my feelings for this guy from everyone in my life, and be hidden from everyone in his. The thought of me being known to the public because of who he is honestly is not even something I care about - It doesn’t matter to me, at all. All I care about is having this great guy who I have such strong feelings for, and continuing what we have. But I just don’t know if I can do it like this.
Any advice, guys? I really just don’t know what the fuck to do, and I can’t turn to anyone I know. What do I do?