I’ve Never Had Sex But I Really Want To.

Susanonyc

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hey, so I’m 21 and i live in New York City. So you’d think that at this age I’d be having sex all the time. But the problem is, I haven’t had sex with any man.

I’ve pretty much been insecure aside from suffering from depression and stuff like that since i was 13 until a few years ago.

Anyway, the point is, I want to start having sex with guys, but I don’t know how, or where to start. I also want to find a Bf (or gf, because I’m bisexual) but i don’t know how to go about getting one. I’m not a feminine man, and I’m not very open about my sexuality. I don’t go to LGBT events or anything like that he because those kinda events aren’t my thing. I don’t really want to use Grindr because I don’t know how safe it is. I’ve talked to a few guys, on there but nothing ever happens because I used to get scared to meet up and stuff like that. But recently I’ve met a guy or two that i was actually willing to have sex with but things just didn’t work out, so Grindr isn’t helping.I hate tinder and i don’t really want to resort to that for sex.

Any advice is very much appreciated. I’ve literally been horny all my life and I’m getting tired of not having a partner or friend with benefits. It’s so hard to find guys that are my type and around my age in NYC :(
 
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gecko888

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Go meet people in real life. They're everywhere.
Easier said than done... as an introvert myself with low self-confidence, it really isn't easy going outside to meet people. I don't like bars (I don't like alcohol, and soft drinks are badly overpriced) or noisy places...
My first time at all with anyone at all was at 29.

My advice : if you're not comfortable going outside to meet people, try online, but have a good chat with them first, it may take some time. Don't hesitate to use a cam for a face-to-face beforehand.
Try finding someone here, maybe ?
 

Brodie888

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Focus on making gay friends. The opportunity for sex will follow naturally after that.

Go to areas where there are high percentage of gay patrons be it cafes, gyms etc. In the right area sometimes all you need is to lock eyes and your on your way.

Okay, you don't like apps but you should still use them anyway but specify you are looking for friends not hookups. Your hit rate will be low but better than nothing.

There are facebook and insta groups etc but I am assuming you're not out so you may need to create accounts without face pics or full or real names.

There are virtual communities such as secondlife where you can be completely anonymous. There is a small investment in creating your avatar to your taste.
 

MusicBear88

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I was 29 my first time too, after many years of various difficulties that kept me from dating or really thinking about other people in my life much at all. Sex was my Christmas present from my boyfriend at the time, which is a little pathetic, but it was what it was. I met him online, also met my other half online in a different way. Finding other people, whether it's for friendship, romance, or sex can suck but the only way to do it is to try.