I am Confused

D

deleted23503761

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I may be confused or intrigued. As long as I can remember, I enjoyed seeing guys in the gym, naked. I was very-turned on by guys and their bulges, especially when I saw their boxers peeking out from the bottom of their gym shorts. I never thought much about being str8, bi or gay. I went on with life, career, two marriages (married now) and yet, as time goes on, I feel I am missing out on something. I have no desire for sex with my wife. I fake it. I hate pussy; its ugly. In fact, I always preferred anal sex with women. So far I’ve never been with a guy, but the urge is becoming so strong that I really think about it almost all the time. I have always been turned on by dicks, and every fantasy I have is about guys. I am always jerking off to guys only. I can’t even get hard looking at a woman. I guess as I think about it more now than ever before, I wonder if I am gay, or bi. I know I can’t identify as str8. I guess I just wanted to pour this all out and ask what you guys think? It is very confusing to me, but interesting.;)
 

Adamwon

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Other people may say it better but here is my take... Its not confusion but it is intrigue for me. Had a couple of experiences younger that never went as far as i hoped. That always kept me guessin on what might of been or how i would've turned out. I never could confide in friends about it so i just got stuck in this fantasy timeloop or something. I am st8 but my love of seeing bulges, cocks, and nice bodies definitly puts me in a bi gray area. Being here, even for such a short time has helped me see that many others are probably similar, some may not admit it, other might not realize it yet. I think thats kinda why most of us are here. Therefore, i will flaunt myself for their enjoyment and visa-versa.
I will say that in the past few years ive gotten more attention from guys than girls so if anything happens its all good. Ive always felt complimented if a gay guy flirted with me, even if they knew my sexuality. Someday i will let my freak flag fly and just indulge! Till then im good with it all being in my head.
Not sure if my story helps at all but hey, you have a nice cock and im sure you'll receive some love here!
 
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deleted23503761

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Thanks! Yes you did help!! So did your comment about my cock:heart:
 
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Chrissmarz

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If I may provide my 2 cents here. Do not think about the label too much, if you’re sexually attracted to someone and as long as it’s consensual you do what makes you happy. One thing I need to say though is keep your current partner in mind because even if you feel you made a mistake marrying someone it was your decision at the end of the day and it’s unfair to the other party. It’s definitely a difficult situation but honesty is best policy. Speaking from experience as having had a girlfriend (beard) just to avoid rumours about my sexual orientation and that relationship really messed with her mentally and shook her self confidence and trust in others.
Good luck mate!
 

Adamwon

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If I may provide my 2 cents here. Do not think about the label too much, if you’re sexually attracted to someone and as long as it’s consensual you do what makes you happy. One thing I need to say though is keep your current partner in mind because even if you feel you made a mistake marrying someone it was your decision at the end of the day and it’s unfair to the other party. It’s definitely a difficult situation but honesty is best policy. Speaking from experience as having had a girlfriend (beard) just to avoid rumours about my sexual orientation and that relationship really messed with her mentally and shook her self confidence and trust in others.
Good luck mate!
Well said! I forgot about mentioning considering your partner in that.
I would add to my point, you might feel and have deep thoughts about this, but you do have a spouse that i would imagine you love and care about eachother in some way. That is something i dont have and would kinda like one day. Regardless anything, its good knowing someone will be there for the long run, not just for an impulse decision, ya know
 
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deleted23503761

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If I may provide my 2 cents here. Do not think about the label too much, if you’re sexually attracted to someone and as long as it’s consensual you do what makes you happy. One thing I need to say though is keep your current partner in mind because even if you feel you made a mistake marrying someone it was your decision at the end of the day and it’s unfair to the other party. It’s definitely a difficult situation but honesty is best policy. Speaking from experience as having had a girlfriend (beard) just to avoid rumours about my sexual orientation and that relationship really messed with her mentally and shook her self confidence and trust in others.
Good luck mate!
Thank you!!
 
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Electric blue

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If I may provide my 2 cents here. Do not think about the label too much, if you’re sexually attracted to someone and as long as it’s consensual you do what makes you happy. One thing I need to say though is keep your current partner in mind because even if you feel you made a mistake marrying someone it was your decision at the end of the day and it’s unfair to the other party. It’s definitely a difficult situation but honesty is best policy. Speaking from experience as having had a girlfriend (beard) just to avoid rumours about my sexual orientation and that relationship really messed with her mentally and shook her self confidence and trust in others.
Good luck mate!
You not the nail on the head
 
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PutItInHere691

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I love what one guy said. Chrissmarz— try not to label it .. it sad we grow up in a society/world we want to label as gay straight tans lesbian bisexual ..

I know growing up there were labels but seems like more today than ever

people ask me if I am gay straight or bisexual .. I say I enjoy the entertainment and being with men more than I do women .. .. I think be nice to be known as a man that enjoys sex .. if I am horny and needing to fuck and all around is females then a female it is ..
 

sdbg

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I just wanted to pour this all out and ask what you guys think?
I went through the same thing in my early 20s. I was always flirtatious with the single girls at work. I was athletically fit, cute, and clean cut, but rarely made it to first base with the ladies. Only got a home run twice. :-(

Meanwhile, my best friend and I were becoming really tight. He moved in with me. We were competitive with each other at the gym and running, and really enjoyed our friendship. We both became very fit. As time went on, I realized that I was attracted to my friend and wanted to experiment sexually. One morning after a run on the local track, we came home, and I ended up blowing him on the kitchen table. The next morning, I fucked him. It opened a can of worms, and we hooked up almost daily for 6 years. I didn't care about being gay, but he did. I kept telling him "Who cares about gay? Other people are not writing you a check every month!" Yet passion got the best of us and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I just had to keep it in the closet to appease my friend. It so happened that he went on a blind date with a girl and she ended up pregnant. They got married, although it was never a happy union. I went to a few gay bars, and guys were all over me (this was before gay men discovered the gym). I had fun and hooked up with many guys. Yes! This is what I've been missing. Then AIDS made the news and my promiscuous days came to an abrupt end. There were a few other times that my friend and I hooked up after his divorce The last time, I couldn't get it up for him anymore. That ship had sailed. We live 400 miles apart, and still keep in touch every now and then. Everything worked out for the best.
 
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Aphradight

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I wouldn’t put yourself in a box with labels. That’s suffocating and can chain someone down or cause confusion. Like what you like as long as you don’t hurt people. If you want to try a dude, find one that makes you comfortable and turns you on. Either you like the experience or try something or someone else. P.S. dick and ass is amazing. Lol
 

Number 9

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I’m not really sure what has you confused. You seem to be fairly straightforward about what you would like. It also seems like you need to be honest with your wife because you are not the only one that is being short changed.

If it’s guilt you’re feeling then you should set that bag of bricks down. Sexual desire is a gift not a cross to bare. Be honest with yourself and with your wife.
 

chrisrobin

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Guys are brought up to believe they will marry, father kids and be the breadwinner. You know it's sort of always there even if not said. I didn't pay a lot of attention to anything growing up, one experience with an older guy I enjoyed but concentrated on work and having a bit of fun but somehow still a virgin.
I went to a party, danced with the most flirtatious girl there and ended up drunk in her bed fucking her.
Long story but I always felt I was seduced because she got pregnant, and in that time you did the right thing and got married. Funny thing is I never fucked her after that time, sticking my dick in her hole didn't seem right, a bit like once bitten twice shy, and worse, I was even looking at guys with a different eye.
It didn't last, she went off, long story, there was me free to investigate cocks of my own, and, suddenly I felt as if I knew who and what I was for the very first time, pressures all gone or ignored.
So, if you have those feelings you need to feel a guys cock in your hand or wherever then you should go for it and discover the truth about what you really want in life.s
 
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suggy4life

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I feel like im in the same boat, minus somethings. ive never been married, never dated, and ever since I MYSELF can remember, any porn I watched was gay porn, ive always trades pics and videos with guys, ive sucked one guys dick and he sucked mine and I came. thats the only thing ive done with a guy. other than that ive never even kissed a girl. Ive had some crushes with girls and the one time they liked my back I got scared and backed off( a story for another time(even though now, shes like engaged and im sorta jealous sometimes thinking that should be me)).

I know everyones like forget the label, but I feel like I sorta want a label so I can see where I fall. the lines are so blurred I feel like I cant even make an assumption and i'm just lying to myself about liking girls.

I can recognize when a girl is: hot, cute, sexy all that. but same thing with guys. periodically, ive even been watching straight porn and here also lies the issue.
I like watching missionary, but am I getting aroused because of the girl or because theres a dick on the screen. getting more personal( in hopes im not being awkward but in hopes that it'll help someone try to understand me) ill even watch porn with a girl masturbating and her moans also turn me on. sometimes ill watch just gay porn and things on twitter, other times im like ok lets watch straight porn.

I also could even see my self marrying a girl, but I wouldnt mind dating a guy. I want to have kids. there are times where im like I feel like ive been longing for a girlfriend, just wishing I had a girl I could talk to.
and then its like a small voice saying or a boy.

All in all, I know they say sexuality is a spectrum. does this mean I AM bi, but might favor guys more? am I making myself like girls? am I, again, lying to myself?( why do I feel like "lying to myself" is the only and most perfect way to describe this feeling?)


SOMEONE, ANYONE, HELP!
Thanks in advanced!!