I am considering about taking my straight best friend out of my life

[D_Dennis Anyone]

No matter what I do...I can never get over him...it is just too hard. He is an extremely good, smart, lean, funny guy....

And I've been considering that the only way I will be able to get over him is to completely forget about him???

I've tried to get over him many countless times before and I just can't seem to do it well enough. Maybe it is just lust or infatuation...

But i want to do whats best for him and possibly myself....I can't live my life with or without him....but he can without me.

Anyone else have this problem? WHat should i do? Should i go through with it or not? Should i keep trying to get over him and maybe hope someday it may happen?

 

[Diesel2215]

Mr. Insall. Some background would be nice. Did you previously have a sexual relationship with him? Or has he always been straight?

 

[smoothy]

In my experience these things sort themselves out over time, particularly if either of you enter into serious relationships.

 

[2322]

In my experience these things sort themselves out over time, particularly if either of you enter into serious relationships.

Ayup.

Good close friends are precious things. Don't cast them away lightly.

 

[B_Nick8]

Don't be facile, kids.

OP, you're probably right: 'It' likely won't if you think it won't because your heart is most likely telling you the truth.

What you do with your feelings and how you handle them is up to you.

If you can sublimate your sexual feelings and go on with your emotions with and for him in a way that will be healthy for you and can salvage your relationship then you should. If you cannot, then it is probably best that you should extricate yourself at the very least in the short term.

Only you can know these things. Many people have been there at one point or another. Do what's best for yourself. I wish you the best.

 

[CUBE]

I understand what you are going through. For several years in my late 20s I just was in pain over this with my buddy. I had to go about my life without him or not have a happy life. We still know each other but in doses. My best to you.

 

[BiItalianBro]

Ayup.

Good close friends are precious things. Don't cast them away lightly.

Can I get an AMEN??!!!

In my experience these things sort themselves out over time, particularly if either of you enter into serious relationships.

Smoothy speaks da truth!!!

I see that you are young (not a slam, just an observation) so its a good bet that interpersonal, especially man2man, relationships are unchartered territory for you. I...like many other guys who lean towards the home team, went through the same thing in early adulthood. Learning how to sort out 'bro' love (friendship) from romatic love is something that will come with time. In the meantime...shutting out a true friend, over my own issues, only added to a sense of isolaiton, and I really dont reccomend it.

Knowing its easier said than done...value the bond that you have...but recognize that it probably will not morph into anything else. As you get out and about and build relationships with other guys who are bi/gay, you will find its easier to compartmentalize your feelings with your straight friends and potential gay/bi mates.

 

[Rocky14441]

I'm in the middle of the same thing,, but this guy was my roommate until recently. Once I jumped over that cliff of admitting I loved him, the free-fall was wonderful, but I kept having the feeling that the ground was rushing up awefully fast...
It is my belief that you will never really stop loving him. The choice you have to make is how much time you want to spend around him, being constantly reminded of that. For me, I can't say no to my friend, so every time I see him my heart leaps in my chest, and that feeling of free-fall comes back. I wish I could just let myself hit the ground, get up, and get over it.
Thanks for the post, you are not alone on this one.

 

[D_Dennis Anyone]

no we have never done anything sexual...and quite frankly he thinks man-to-man sex is ridiculous and just plain wrong. Although, I have talked to him about one issue and posted it as a forum...if you guys want more info

here it is: http://www.lpsg.org/116580-would-letting-guy-suck-my.html