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i am going to cheat on my wife
- Thread starter CALAMBO
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My first reaction is that you're an asshole.
My second reaction is that you've got far more serious problems in your relationship than your perceived lack of sex, that you're dealing with them in a typical straight man way** (which, again, makes you an asshole) and that you ought to try to address them differently and soon. In particular, you need to appreciate your wife's contributions to your relationship. Of course, in the end, if you are truly unhappy, you need to do the right and honorable thing for the both of you and get out.
My final reaction is that you're an asshole.
**My apologies to straight men everywhere. I mean this in just the most general and stereotypical way. I do these things at times, too. :biggrin1:
My second reaction is that you've got far more serious problems in your relationship than your perceived lack of sex, that you're dealing with them in a typical straight man way** (which, again, makes you an asshole) and that you ought to try to address them differently and soon. In particular, you need to appreciate your wife's contributions to your relationship. Of course, in the end, if you are truly unhappy, you need to do the right and honorable thing for the both of you and get out.
My final reaction is that you're an asshole.
**My apologies to straight men everywhere. I mean this in just the most general and stereotypical way. I do these things at times, too. :biggrin1:
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This may be true on a large statistical sample, I have not seen any study confirming or denying it. But it looks hopeless per individual case. Before even entering the moral issues involved.
There are other solutions (referencing earlier posters) -
1) Split up with your partner and then have sex elsewhere.
2) Speak to your partner about having sex outside the relationship (for both of you).
3) Speak to your partner about your sex life.
COMMUNICATION PEOPLE!
1) Split up with your partner and then have sex elsewhere.
2) Speak to your partner about having sex outside the relationship (for both of you).
3) Speak to your partner about your sex life.
COMMUNICATION PEOPLE!
Also maybe you should show her more affection and that will get her hot. If my girlfriend is ever not in the mood I lay next to her in bed and stroke her hair for 10 minutes. Then we kiss for another 10. Eventually I'm playing with her nipples and then woah boy! We have another hour session.
You only get out of a relationship what you put in.
You only get out of a relationship what you put in.
You are again assuming too much. There are just situations beyond your imagination.
Unfortunately this is not always true. I only wish you to not have to live with situations where this does not hold.
Well lets put it this way...
If their relationship is brilliant except for the sex thing, then I'm sure they can come to an arrangement where he goes elsewhere.
If their relationship is dead and buried then he should head off rather than cheat.
If their relationship is dead and bured and kids are involved. Tough call.
If as someone mentioned earlier, she makes it clear enough to "get what you can elsewhere but I don't want to know about it" then again tough call. Could be her trump card for the power during a divorce. You can't prove you had her permission...
If their relationship is brilliant except for the sex thing, then I'm sure they can come to an arrangement where he goes elsewhere.
If their relationship is dead and buried then he should head off rather than cheat.
If their relationship is dead and bured and kids are involved. Tough call.
If as someone mentioned earlier, she makes it clear enough to "get what you can elsewhere but I don't want to know about it" then again tough call. Could be her trump card for the power during a divorce. You can't prove you had her permission...
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Why cheat on your wife?
Why not just buy a house for someone you don't like?
Once a week is not a bad average...
Work on the 20 minute thing...
And, really, if you think that CHEATING on your wife is gonna drive your average UP... you're fooling yourself.
Unless you just hire hookers, its gonna be a significant investment in time, money and attention to get what? A few extra 20 minute fucks per month?
At what risk?
Try this... try taking over some of the chores that are making her so tired.
Try spending 40 minutes laughing and talking with her... or dancing with her.... to get her in the mood to spend 20 minutes in the sack.
Also... look in the mirror.... what kind of attraction do you present to her?
You want your woman to want you? BE the kind of guy she wants.
Don't you guys GET IT? "Tired" means I DON"T WANT YOU...you NO LONGER TURN ME ON.
There could be a million reasons for this...past hurts, poor communication, not feeling valued or loved...all these things are passion killers.
I believe that if your wife met somebody else who treated her the way she needed to be treated she'd no longer be "tired." I hope she does!
There could be a million reasons for this...past hurts, poor communication, not feeling valued or loved...all these things are passion killers.
I believe that if your wife met somebody else who treated her the way she needed to be treated she'd no longer be "tired." I hope she does!
I believe that you feel that way, but is there a part of you that trained yourself to say things like that because it sounds good to women?
There are cases for and against monogamy throughout nature. Different primates run the gauntlet. Male gorillas have harems of females. Male chimps are somewhat monogamous, but screw around ocasionally. Bonobos which are similar to chimps...they are just sluts. mm. ww. wm. They fuck hello. It is how they get to know each other.
In some cultures it is normal for a man to have many women.
I am not talking about those middle Eastern dudes that oppress their women. (and hey, I know that not all mid eastern people are like this, just making a point)
I am thinking more of all the married Latinos who have a mistress on the side.
It doesn't work as good in America, though. The cigarette burns in my late uncles hand could attest to that.
So depending on what your wife is like, you may want to have a long hard contemplation of what you are considering.
StrictlyAvg
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I doubt the discussion you've had and the way your feelings were presented will get the results you want. The way you've described it, it sounds like you're pretty resentful about the lack of sex, and putting that vibe across with (I'm being simplistic here, it's late in the UK!) "I'm not getting enough; would you mind if I went somewhere else" is not going to get her to play ball.
Think about it - if she actually did give in and let you have more sex just because you want it, rather than you being a turn-on to her and getting her to want it, you're gonna end up with some really bad, unfulfilling sex and at that point the whole relationship starts to look pretty abusive and bad for both of you.
Work on the stuff that's making you give out the negative vibes about this and any other issues in your marriage and she'll like you a whole lot more - if both of you appreciate the quality of what you're doing the quantity issue will probably magically sort itself out.
Cheating won't fix it - it's like the old medical adage of treating the symptoms and not the cause and will likely result in divorce.
Think about it - if she actually did give in and let you have more sex just because you want it, rather than you being a turn-on to her and getting her to want it, you're gonna end up with some really bad, unfulfilling sex and at that point the whole relationship starts to look pretty abusive and bad for both of you.
Work on the stuff that's making you give out the negative vibes about this and any other issues in your marriage and she'll like you a whole lot more - if both of you appreciate the quality of what you're doing the quantity issue will probably magically sort itself out.
Cheating won't fix it - it's like the old medical adage of treating the symptoms and not the cause and will likely result in divorce.
I have to somewhat agree with the OP. I also would like to have more frequent sex, once every 3 weeks is tough. But my wife works a full time job, on her feet all day, as her paycheck supports our 2 noys in college and our family healthcare comes from her company.
Does it take alot to reach over at night and jerk me off ? NO ! And I've asked her to do it, and she does. But that's not intimacy for her, nor me.
I'm not interested in the whole mental aspect of cheating, and cheating takes more energy than trying to make nice with the wife. To each their own.
So what do guys like us do ? Communication...even after 25 years ,when we think we really know each other....We don't.
Does it take alot to reach over at night and jerk me off ? NO ! And I've asked her to do it, and she does. But that's not intimacy for her, nor me.
I'm not interested in the whole mental aspect of cheating, and cheating takes more energy than trying to make nice with the wife. To each their own.
So what do guys like us do ? Communication...even after 25 years ,when we think we really know each other....We don't.
So much to consider here and such a lack of common sense to even announce such a thing. No pride or dignity what so ever, this more of a cry for approval than anything which is a sure sign you do not need to go there.
Pay attention to what these people are telling you....and remember you asked for it.
Pay attention to what these people are telling you....and remember you asked for it.
