i am going to cheat on my wife
- Thread starter CALAMBO
- Start date
when i posted this thread...it was more of a thinking thing.....to some of the MORAL MAJORITY here" thinking ain't cheatin" guys...to jump on my ass or anyone else for taking thier love to town did seem overkill...yes i opend a can of worms but have seen many more acts of imorality with alot less condemnation on lpsg......what about my needs?..i am the poster asking for a bit of advise...not anyone's permission or attaboy...many of the responders need to look at thier own moral behavior before casting stones to others...walk a mile in my shoes before blessing my stingy wife for not making her man feel good about himself.....kind of shows how me that some women hate men on this cite because they can see themselves and do not like what they see...and the GAY guys who have never lived with a woman for 30 yrs...butt out, you sound like a maybe you need to lay off the dick awhile you are acting like a woman...FLAME ON...I CAN TAKE IT
You are?!?!?!I'm much more local, you know!
Well usually I am....
I think I kinda did! :redface:
Thank you! I don't think it's cheating either!
I didn't feel an ounce of guilt!
The other party? Do you mean the frigid hubby needs to respect his wife by giving up the cock?
[/quote]:yup:
The other party? Do you mean the frigid hubby needs to respect his wife by giving up the cock?
I certainly do - tongue and hands would be a bonus. :tongue:[/quote]
*faints*
Bigggg bonus!
But it's true.... Calambo just got ripped into and gals don't get the same treatment. :redface:
I didn't thank god!
You are contemplating cheating on someone who has purportedly been loyal to you for 30 years. You say you want advise well here it is: don't be stupid make all of that time together a farce. I imagine if another mule were kicking around in your shed, you'd be a bit pissed. Cheat on her and risk losing your wife, home, and at least half of your 401k. Sounds like a really bad idea. Good luck.
Principessa
Expert Member
He's not half the man you are.
You are one of what is probably less than a half dozen women on this site to do that. It should also be noted that the men who cheat rarely do so after years of emotional and physical neglect/abuse. Men cheat after watching too much porn and thinking that they are entitled to what they see on video.:yup:But it's true.... Calambo just got ripped into and gals don't get the same treatment. :redface: I didn't thank god!
He's not half the man you are.
You are one of what is probably less than a half dozen women on this site to do that. It should also be noted that the men who cheat rarely do so after years of emotional and physical neglect/abuse. Men cheat after watching too much porn and thinking that they are entitled to what they see on video.
That's completely under-informed and total bullshit. Out of my personal acquaintances the 'cheat cos I'm horny' brigade are not far off 50 / 50 male / female. Those who cheat in circumstances that even you seem to think are extenuating are also around 50 / 50.
There is this attitude that if a man is complaining because his partner is not 'putting out' it is his fault - see the many posters above telling Calambo to up his 20 min performance and that he's a crap shag - whereas in fact he was saying even if she could just spare him 20mins of her time to have sex he'd feel a lot better about their physical relationship. The opposite is not believed of women - if a husband is not giving his wife the attention she needs it is also assumed by majority to be his fault.*
NEWSFLASH: Men's sexual needs are not met by giving them somewhere warm and moist to stick their cocks for 10 mins a few times a month! They need to be desired, loved, wooed, made love to, tempted, seduced, wanted and needed every bit as much as women do.
* K8, I'm not talking about your situation here - I've read your blogs, I know you tried your very best and I believe you've made the right decision, the only decision you could make and stay sane.
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I read and interpreted CALAMBO's original posting as not a statement that he
actually was going to cheat on his wife, but as a cry out for help and suggestions,
from what I guess he thought would be, a caring and supportive group.
COLAMBO clearly stated that he and his wife had discussed their problem and her
only responce was that she was "too tired." I surmised that he wanted it to work,
but was not getting the cooperation needed for them to have a more enjoyable AND
satifying sex life. He was frustrated, missing his wife physically, and was turning
to the forum support. Personally, the "too tired" excuse is not a legitimate reason
for EITHER the male or the female, or whatever the combination might be, to deny
the other of conjugal relations unless there are very good reasons for doing so.
Everyone, male or female, works, has duties or projects that take their time, sap
their energy from them, and leave them tired. Both those who are stay at home
or office workers, etc. can become just as tired. So, to not try to be a better
partner and to not try to make a relationship work for both, is just plain wrong.
There has to be another reason other than "I'm tired" or "I have a headache" or
one of a myriad of excuses. That's lame.....
Personally, I never had this problem when I was married, but I have experienced it
in other relationships. One live in gf discovered, after a medical exam, that she had
a lack of lubrication which caused her pain and therefore a deminished or nil desire. Another gf discovered her lack of interest in sex was due to onset of menopause,
which was unusually early and did not have the normal symptems. Both were treated and our relations were resumed. So, there can be other reasons than thinking that
it is the man's fault for not being attentive, etc. etc. etc. I think we tend to be too
quick to find fault without knowing all the facts.
CALAMBO has not been here that long, but in the time he has been here, I've
found his postings to be friendly and supportive of others, and I've found him to
be nice, an interesting person, and nice to PM with. I guess he assumed he could
expect the same treatment, which unfortunately he only received from a few in this
thread.
I hope, CALAMBO, that all will work out so that BOTH of you will be able to thoroughly
enjoy each other again....Good Luck
actually was going to cheat on his wife, but as a cry out for help and suggestions,
from what I guess he thought would be, a caring and supportive group.
COLAMBO clearly stated that he and his wife had discussed their problem and her
only responce was that she was "too tired." I surmised that he wanted it to work,
but was not getting the cooperation needed for them to have a more enjoyable AND
satifying sex life. He was frustrated, missing his wife physically, and was turning
to the forum support. Personally, the "too tired" excuse is not a legitimate reason
for EITHER the male or the female, or whatever the combination might be, to deny
the other of conjugal relations unless there are very good reasons for doing so.
Everyone, male or female, works, has duties or projects that take their time, sap
their energy from them, and leave them tired. Both those who are stay at home
or office workers, etc. can become just as tired. So, to not try to be a better
partner and to not try to make a relationship work for both, is just plain wrong.
There has to be another reason other than "I'm tired" or "I have a headache" or
one of a myriad of excuses. That's lame.....
Personally, I never had this problem when I was married, but I have experienced it
in other relationships. One live in gf discovered, after a medical exam, that she had
a lack of lubrication which caused her pain and therefore a deminished or nil desire. Another gf discovered her lack of interest in sex was due to onset of menopause,
which was unusually early and did not have the normal symptems. Both were treated and our relations were resumed. So, there can be other reasons than thinking that
it is the man's fault for not being attentive, etc. etc. etc. I think we tend to be too
quick to find fault without knowing all the facts.
CALAMBO has not been here that long, but in the time he has been here, I've
found his postings to be friendly and supportive of others, and I've found him to
be nice, an interesting person, and nice to PM with. I guess he assumed he could
expect the same treatment, which unfortunately he only received from a few in this
thread.
I hope, CALAMBO, that all will work out so that BOTH of you will be able to thoroughly
enjoy each other again....Good Luck
largeornot
Experimental Member
Calambo, I'm sure most of this issue is in your head....
Look, what i suggest you do is take a long time to think about the source of the problem.... try seeing if it's YOUR fault that this is happening. Maybe your being too needy, and shes getting turned off by it....
Stop thinking about sex and focus more on making your relationship stronger, and making sure that both of you enjoy your sex time equally rather than seeing it as a chore...
just let the sex come to you, don't try and push things because we all know that things won't go smoothly if you do...
look back in time and think of why you love your wife, and of all the special moments you've had with her....
bottom line is: STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX
don't take this in a bad way, but it seems to me like you see yourself lower than your wife (which is expected of someone in your position).... stop begging for sex, if she doesnt want you, then it's her loss
Look, what i suggest you do is take a long time to think about the source of the problem.... try seeing if it's YOUR fault that this is happening. Maybe your being too needy, and shes getting turned off by it....
Stop thinking about sex and focus more on making your relationship stronger, and making sure that both of you enjoy your sex time equally rather than seeing it as a chore...
just let the sex come to you, don't try and push things because we all know that things won't go smoothly if you do...
look back in time and think of why you love your wife, and of all the special moments you've had with her....
bottom line is: STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX
don't take this in a bad way, but it seems to me like you see yourself lower than your wife (which is expected of someone in your position).... stop begging for sex, if she doesnt want you, then it's her loss
Dearest Calambo,
I feel for you Man because you have taken a huge tongue lashing.
For all you "shame on you" people, unclench the ass cheeks and READ.
First here is a man who loves his wife and gives her every pleasure a man can offer. He HONORS his marriage vows above and beyond in my book.
Second She complains of being to tired to chase after her man and give him an occasional BJ. Come on people I work a 40 week and still find enough energy to go after my man. Hell giving him a BJ is what gets my motor running.
As cheating isn't the first choice for anyone who loves their partners
but the fact is the prostitutes would be out of business if married men got what they deserve at home. A man doesn't go looking for sex outside the marriage if they are getting what they need at home.
I feel that women today are to self centered thanks to womens lib. Women think about your wedding vows, do you remember what you said and do you realize what you said. What do you think love, honor and cherish mean. Is it that hard to give your man twenty minutes of your time. Why do you feel like it is so aweful to play with your man.
Or maybe I am just a little strange cause if I didn't have anything to do all day but what for my hubby to come home. You bet I would be jumping him all the time. He wouldn't have to chase after me unless I choose for him to do that.
Calambo I really feel for you and I am sorry I don't have any answers for you. But I don't blame you if you do decide to cheat because your wife isn't giving you much choice.
I feel for you Man because you have taken a huge tongue lashing.
For all you "shame on you" people, unclench the ass cheeks and READ.
First here is a man who loves his wife and gives her every pleasure a man can offer. He HONORS his marriage vows above and beyond in my book.
Second She complains of being to tired to chase after her man and give him an occasional BJ. Come on people I work a 40 week and still find enough energy to go after my man. Hell giving him a BJ is what gets my motor running.
As cheating isn't the first choice for anyone who loves their partners
but the fact is the prostitutes would be out of business if married men got what they deserve at home. A man doesn't go looking for sex outside the marriage if they are getting what they need at home.
I feel that women today are to self centered thanks to womens lib. Women think about your wedding vows, do you remember what you said and do you realize what you said. What do you think love, honor and cherish mean. Is it that hard to give your man twenty minutes of your time. Why do you feel like it is so aweful to play with your man.
Or maybe I am just a little strange cause if I didn't have anything to do all day but what for my hubby to come home. You bet I would be jumping him all the time. He wouldn't have to chase after me unless I choose for him to do that.
Calambo I really feel for you and I am sorry I don't have any answers for you. But I don't blame you if you do decide to cheat because your wife isn't giving you much choice.
You guys crack me up with all this bs posturing. Half of you cheat on your girlfriends regularly and to then to pretend to know what is going on in Calambo's living situation is just wrong. Tell the truth guys!
The one post which is being fair to him is Drifterwood's.
If I'm taking Calambo at his word and I am that his wife doesn't work has damn near everything she's asked for then why should she be too tired for sex? She's not working has help with the house and it seems her time is her own. why not make him her priority? This can't work for everyone of course but it seems reasonable to me for Calambo's situation.
Nobody here knows what is truly going on in your situation Calambo.
It might not have been the best place to post this question taking comments from people who might just want to see you do badly for "cheating" my friend.
But ultimately it is you and you alone who will make this decision
as to what is the best course of action for you.
I wish you well Calambo and don't take some of these
folks too seriously please.:wink:
cigarbabe:saevil:
Even partners who are deeply in love have problems. When problems appear, it is always helpful if both parties are asking themselve the right questions about their own part in the continuing problem and the resolution of that problem. Some folks simply lack that capacity and seek the help of a disinterested third party.
Not all persons have a well-developed capacity for introspection and reflection. But, often a face-to-face encounter in the opresence of a third party allows partners ot arrive at positive attitudes toward each other. As one who has been a disinterested party in such meetings, I know that the results are often such as create a kind of enthusiasm for constructive actions on the part of both partners. I have been surprised that this has received so little attention here. LPSG members are generous in throwing out their thoughts-in-seeking-insight relating to the problem presented. The OP in his responses has indicated that he senses when comments have been helpful and when they have not. Still, sometimes it takes a live person sitting with the affected parties to open up the path to resolution of the problem presented.
When we say that two persons have to work things out for themselves we do not mean to wash our hands of concern for the hurting parties. What we mean is that there is no one who can solve the problem for the hurting parties; the best we can do is to try to help them to help themselves.
Not all persons have a well-developed capacity for introspection and reflection. But, often a face-to-face encounter in the opresence of a third party allows partners ot arrive at positive attitudes toward each other. As one who has been a disinterested party in such meetings, I know that the results are often such as create a kind of enthusiasm for constructive actions on the part of both partners. I have been surprised that this has received so little attention here. LPSG members are generous in throwing out their thoughts-in-seeking-insight relating to the problem presented. The OP in his responses has indicated that he senses when comments have been helpful and when they have not. Still, sometimes it takes a live person sitting with the affected parties to open up the path to resolution of the problem presented.
When we say that two persons have to work things out for themselves we do not mean to wash our hands of concern for the hurting parties. What we mean is that there is no one who can solve the problem for the hurting parties; the best we can do is to try to help them to help themselves.
Do you perhaps mean a neutral third party?
I don't think a disinterested third party would be much help. "We're having problems in our relationship." "Yeah, OK, whatever! I'm trying to read my book here, do you mind?"
Yeah - I know - I'm sorry - I couldn't help it - the word can be used as the poster intended too. Sorry :redface:
I have been married 3 times and have had countless boy/ girlfriends in between. I am quite sure that women over 45 can live without sex at all. Most women only enjoy a fuck if there is the slightest chance of getting pregnant. I would love to meet a fit, good looking woman of mature years who enjoys sex and does not just lay there waiting to be done to. There is a load of crap spoken and in print about how women want foreplay, but in my experience, women don`t usually want to mess about, they just want a dick in them quick so they can get back to sleep. This is why I have a regular meeting with one of my wife`s nieces who is 23 and at uni. Needless to say, I won`t be getting married a 4th time. At least my wife is a brilliant cook. If there are any women out there who think I`m talking crap, I`d like to meet you as I`m sure there must be the odd exception who is good at and enjoys sex.
Manly Banisters points out the danger of using a word which is too often misdefined by those who come across it. DISINTERESTED has several meanings in common usage. And, I should have used a more common word less subject to misinterpretation.
The word can mean UNBIASED; a disinterested party is one FREE FROM SELFISH MOTIVES. (In this case parents and parents in law would not be particularly helpful.)
I do believe my post did provide a context which did not suggest that the third party would be uninterested; the third party is meant to be a friendly helper, one who does not take sides, one who is interested in gettting the partners back to a happy relationship with one another.
Many priests and pastors do a great deal of counselling and the goal is to keep oneself out of the dispute, acting as a friendly helper to a couple who have up to that point not been able to sort things out themselves.
I shall try to seek out those words on which there is less confusion as to meaning in any future posts.
The word can mean UNBIASED; a disinterested party is one FREE FROM SELFISH MOTIVES. (In this case parents and parents in law would not be particularly helpful.)
I do believe my post did provide a context which did not suggest that the third party would be uninterested; the third party is meant to be a friendly helper, one who does not take sides, one who is interested in gettting the partners back to a happy relationship with one another.
Many priests and pastors do a great deal of counselling and the goal is to keep oneself out of the dispute, acting as a friendly helper to a couple who have up to that point not been able to sort things out themselves.
I shall try to seek out those words on which there is less confusion as to meaning in any future posts.
Sorry liberia, but fuck you where you breathe! It is exactly that kind of attitude that may well make women not want to have sex... with you! 'Most women' only fuck when there's a chance of procreation? Have you fucked most women? It's a myth that women like foreplay, is it? Bollocks. In my experience the only women who don't like foreplay are the ones who have serious intimacy issues due to abuse or other trauma (and I have known bugger all of them) and women who are in relationship with men who are incredibly bad at foreplay.
You are talking crap - you don't get to meet me - I am not the exception. (though I will admit to being odd
)Your word use was fine - I thought my greyed comment covered that - the double meaning created an amusing image in my mind and I just can't resist a bad word pun sometimes - no offence intended. :frown1:
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