I am going to say something

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by gcbenji0, Feb 25, 2008.

  1. gcbenji0

    gcbenji0 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2007
    Messages:
    453
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    so basically i posted a while ago about saying something to a guy online
    but now i've decided i will stop playing around and actually go up to him and say something.

    but what?
    how do you hit on a guy who you're not 100% sure is gay?
     
  2. Corius

    Corius New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Messages:
    718
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Michigan
    My short answer would be: YOU DON'T. Instead, go out of your way to become friendly with the fellow. If he becomes a friend, I have an idea that you will know very quickly where it is at for him. Any sex should come as a sort of bonding of a friendship that needs the physical to express itself. In my experience, this isn't something that happens very suddenly; it builds. The sex then becomes the most natural something and that kind of sex is fantastic. Concentrate on the relationship; the sex will follow.
     
  3. sevencirc

    sevencirc Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Messages:
    275
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new england
    Corius....you're right IMHO. I have two friendships in particular that I chose to nurture as opposed
    to seeking/hoping for sex. I knew both guys were str8 - they're both good-looking, both older than me, both married. Although my initial attraction back when I first met each of them (probably 11-12 years ago) was physical, I sought to make friends instead....I'm glad I did. What has happened from that has been two exceptional friendships, one of them becoming my best friend and second father (my dad died years ago). We've enjoyed many great times together, and though the sexual attraction is probably stronger now than ever, I would only carry out my sexual fantasies with them if their curiosity/interest became obvious and they indicated so. I doubt that it will, but I am eternally grateful for the friendships that developed because I chose to steer away from the sexual desires I had for both of them.
    Gcbenji: Make friends with the guy first; see where it goes from there. You'll probably know right away if there's a physical attraction that's mutual.
     
  4. cyberczar

    cyberczar New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Oooh that's a difficult subject.

    Accidentally ask a straight guy if he's gay and you run the risk of hurting his masculinity or being punched in the face.

    The best way to know if your friend is gay is to… well… get to know him better.

    Find common interests and the more comfortable he feels about you then he'll either open up to you, or distance himself if he's getting that "gay vibe" and he's not into that.

    Leaving around GQ and Details magazines sitting around as opposed to Maxim or Hustler might work.

    You might try asking him if he's ever heard of Fire Island, been to (or wants to go to) Key West, etc. A little stereotypical, but might shed some light.

    Also, if there's any relevant news stories dealing with sexuality might be worth working into a conversation. And it's nearing election time. Gay Rights, Defense of Marriage Act, Gay Marriage, all worthy subjects for discussion (and generic enough not to give you away).

    Then again, my rule of thumb has always been that if someone has the balls to come up and ask me if I'm gay, the least I can do is be honest and truthful in my reply, even if I'm not out to them. But… that's just me. :)
     
Draft saved Draft deleted