Being single is just not for me. I woke up this morning with an urge to roll over and cuddle but was met with nothing but air. I want someone to hold me and nuzzle their nose into my neck as I feel their breath pulsating down my neck and spine. Everyone I have had feelings for is either not interested or is in a relationship. Why do I always fall for people I can't have? I am so lonely. I need someone to be with.
I am so lonely
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nudeyorker
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Well at least you know what you want and apparently have learned something about your past relationships. The funny thing is right now it's likely that you are in a much better situation being alone than in a relationship with the wrong person. (I've been in one of those and there is nothing more lonely than that I can assure you)
I don't know how old you are but I guessing you have a long life ahead of you to find the right person and go through all the ups and downs of living happily ever after... just be patient.
I spent the better part of my life evolving into the type of person that I wanted to be with before I finally met him. But I really enjoyed the ride getting there.
I don't know how old you are but I guessing you have a long life ahead of you to find the right person and go through all the ups and downs of living happily ever after... just be patient.
I spent the better part of my life evolving into the type of person that I wanted to be with before I finally met him. But I really enjoyed the ride getting there.
buffaloboy
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How old are you? Are you doing enough to make sure you're meeting plenty of potential partners?
Can you not try to think of being single as a different state to being in a relationship. Not worse, or better, just different.
Something that many people find off putting is when someone appears to be desperate to be in a relationship as it gives off an air of being very need which a lot people don't find attractive.
Learn to enjoy your own company, and get to know yourself - what you like, what you don't and what you really want. The best relationships tend to come about when we're happy with ourselves, rather than being born out of neediness.
Can you not try to think of being single as a different state to being in a relationship. Not worse, or better, just different.
Something that many people find off putting is when someone appears to be desperate to be in a relationship as it gives off an air of being very need which a lot people don't find attractive.
Learn to enjoy your own company, and get to know yourself - what you like, what you don't and what you really want. The best relationships tend to come about when we're happy with ourselves, rather than being born out of neediness.
scruffylookin
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Hey Buddy I can empathize, All I ever wanted was a guy to that would be into me as much as I am into him. Somehow it doesnt work that way. I fell for a guy that hit all the things for me emotionally, physically, "soul mate",almost magic, and too good to be true cause he did not feel the same way. It is disappointing. Some say we have more than one soul mate, I hope that is the case. Not sure how old you are but if you are under 50 you never know who you might run into so keep your eye open. Do the things that interest you and find organizations with those interests and who knows, lightening may strike twice.
bimetaldude
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i have 6 and i make them into a eric pillow. and hug them. my long distance bf. it helps a lot but its not the same as what the op was talking about... i feel for him and do relate.
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There are so many issues here in the OP. Addressing them is (somewhat) complicated and not given to simple, platitudinous solutions:
1) You are lonely because some core part (not recognized by your ego: Freud-style ego) prefers to isolate. It could be fear of rejection, it could be an innate shyness, it could be low self-esteem. I'm not a psychologist, and since we've never met I have no idea which one of these (obvious and incomplete) answers suits you best, if any. But they're at least a very simple outline for further reflection;
2) Physical intimacy does not automatically equate with emotional intimacy; it's a rare FB (at least for me) who'll at least spend the night. Most are more interested in a Chew-&-Screw arrangement, if you'll pardon the expression. Hook-ups and FBs don't usually allow for such "relationship commitments) as wake-up snuggles, though they do occasionally happen;
3) Falling hard for impossible types is sorta my MO. It's a way of distancing yourself/intimacy avoidance that's one of my less-attractive attributes. I justify it right now by disclaiming any interest in a deeper rapport with my sundry sex partners. But deep down even I recognize both the self-doubting part about what (beyond crazy sex) I bring to the table and a deep-seated inner voice that I have very little to offer otherwise. This, again, is hardly a positive quality; I can recognize it as such, deplore it yet allow it to continue.
FWIW, this is hardly a new thing for me. It's a hardening of an elementary self-image I've been hauling around for 30 years (or more) now. I'm self-aware enough to understand that it's a form of self abuse/denial of happiness. It stems from considering myself as fundamentally broken (which I know I'm not in the rational side of my brain); yet emotions are the antithesis of rational thoughts and behavior, so I (cautiously) embrace it even as I struggle to eradicate it.
The simple answer is to seek unlikely specimens and avail yourself of the deeper emotional connection that s/he may wish to provide. My own experiments at such outreaches have been a very mixed bag: I love the bad boys and have no one but myself when they wind up being bad for me, my goals and the stability I really do crave (protests to the contrary).
You're better than whatever mechanism has taught you to reject calm emotional stability instead of a wild ride on thee emotional roller-coaster; we both are. yet it continues.
But after 30+ years of such behavior, even I recognize that it's self-denial of the positive in favor of a rather embrace of the negative and self-debasing all too common in too many psyches. If and when you find your way out of the house of mirrors, please let us know how you did it: I'm not the only one interested in finding the path out of that especially loathsome labyrinth.
Good luck-
UBb
1) You are lonely because some core part (not recognized by your ego: Freud-style ego) prefers to isolate. It could be fear of rejection, it could be an innate shyness, it could be low self-esteem. I'm not a psychologist, and since we've never met I have no idea which one of these (obvious and incomplete) answers suits you best, if any. But they're at least a very simple outline for further reflection;
2) Physical intimacy does not automatically equate with emotional intimacy; it's a rare FB (at least for me) who'll at least spend the night. Most are more interested in a Chew-&-Screw arrangement, if you'll pardon the expression. Hook-ups and FBs don't usually allow for such "relationship commitments) as wake-up snuggles, though they do occasionally happen;
3) Falling hard for impossible types is sorta my MO. It's a way of distancing yourself/intimacy avoidance that's one of my less-attractive attributes. I justify it right now by disclaiming any interest in a deeper rapport with my sundry sex partners. But deep down even I recognize both the self-doubting part about what (beyond crazy sex) I bring to the table and a deep-seated inner voice that I have very little to offer otherwise. This, again, is hardly a positive quality; I can recognize it as such, deplore it yet allow it to continue.
FWIW, this is hardly a new thing for me. It's a hardening of an elementary self-image I've been hauling around for 30 years (or more) now. I'm self-aware enough to understand that it's a form of self abuse/denial of happiness. It stems from considering myself as fundamentally broken (which I know I'm not in the rational side of my brain); yet emotions are the antithesis of rational thoughts and behavior, so I (cautiously) embrace it even as I struggle to eradicate it.
The simple answer is to seek unlikely specimens and avail yourself of the deeper emotional connection that s/he may wish to provide. My own experiments at such outreaches have been a very mixed bag: I love the bad boys and have no one but myself when they wind up being bad for me, my goals and the stability I really do crave (protests to the contrary).
You're better than whatever mechanism has taught you to reject calm emotional stability instead of a wild ride on thee emotional roller-coaster; we both are. yet it continues.
But after 30+ years of such behavior, even I recognize that it's self-denial of the positive in favor of a rather embrace of the negative and self-debasing all too common in too many psyches. If and when you find your way out of the house of mirrors, please let us know how you did it: I'm not the only one interested in finding the path out of that especially loathsome labyrinth.
Good luck-
UBb
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I don't mean to be cold....but come on.
You have a hot body, big cock, and live in California. Do you go outside?
Boo friggin hooo! When your lonely - think of all the other people in the world that don't have the opportunity to live in a gay mecca or diverse big community like you live in.
Open your horizons to the world around you. When it's right...It'll happen!
You have a hot body, big cock, and live in California. Do you go outside?
Boo friggin hooo! When your lonely - think of all the other people in the world that don't have the opportunity to live in a gay mecca or diverse big community like you live in.
Open your horizons to the world around you. When it's right...It'll happen!
Rikter8
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how delightfully shallow! not everyone's problems are looks & dick size related.
the guy wants love, not a one night bang. finding love isn't as easy as going out and hooking up.
Rikter8
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It's not shallow if you think about it. He lives in CA. There are so many communities around him of all types that he can choose from. I made no mention of going out and hooking up either. But as we all know, having an in-shape body certainly helps.
So if it's love he seeks...then he needs to explore the large community he lives in. Tap into the endless resources. Get out and about. You can't meet people if you never go out.
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Perhaps the reason why your single is because:
* you might me be too clingy and not give them the space they need
* you possibly could come off as being cocky
* you could come off as being too easy
Those are a few examples that I've encountered with people and I'm not saying your any of the above, but do a little bit of self analyzing and you might find something that can be changed.
I'm sure you'll meet the perfect person when you least expect it.
* you might me be too clingy and not give them the space they need
* you possibly could come off as being cocky
* you could come off as being too easy
Those are a few examples that I've encountered with people and I'm not saying your any of the above, but do a little bit of self analyzing and you might find something that can be changed.
I'm sure you'll meet the perfect person when you least expect it.
you can be out on the scene, meet dozens of new people a day and still feel lonely.
he says he's falling for people but it's not reciprocated. that doesn't sound like something to be fixed by going out more. it's a far deeper issue than that.
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