I am so lonely

[basque9]

Do cheer up! I think your feeling of loneliness is probably due to some anxiety over being separated from a previous lover! This is a normal feeling as you adjust to your new reality. Soon, you will realize that it is time to open yourself to new experiences. One meets new people and new opportunities unfold for possible relationships all through life. There is never any reason to despair....we are given many chances to meet a mate! You are young ; you will see; you will meet!

 

[Dave NoCal]

To OP,
I notice that for sexual orientaion you posted "unsure." In your initial post you referred to possible partner's breath as "their." IMHO you need to know what you are seeking before you can find. You are young and very attactive. You have time. It seems to me that the first order of business is sorting out yourself. This comes from reflection and, perhaps, short-term counseling. Expecting to sort oneself out by bouncing off of others is a common hope but, in my observation, a long and rather messy process.

 

[SpankySD]

Stay open to possibilities. I met a lover that lasted 14 years from speaking on a panel to some med students. Totally unexpected. I met a lover that lasted 7 years walking my dog every morning. We kept running into each other and started chatting. Also unexpected. It isn't always where you expect to find it.

 

[dude_007]

It's not shallow if you think about it. He lives in CA. There are so many communities around him of all types that he can choose from. I made no mention of going out and hooking up either. But as we all know, having an in-shape body certainly helps.

So if it's love he seeks...then he needs to explore the large community he lives in. Tap into the endless resources. Get out and about. You can't meet people if you never go out.

Not everywhere in California is gay-friendly. It's still against state law to get married, after all. That means there are more homophobes than not.

 

[nicecircjob]

You're an attractive young man. I don't see why there's not a steady stream of people knocking on your door. Let some of them in and get to know them. I'm sure someone would like to get close to you. Is your criteria for a partner so high no one can attain it? I dunno, but CA has all types of peeps, surely there's someone for you there. You have to be a friend to have a friend. Good Luck.

 

[D_Dan_T_Zinferno]

Why do I always fall for people I can't have?

If all you want is a relationship but you only fall for people you can't be with, you're definitely not alone. I've been there myself and I think for a lot of people in this situation, it's partly a matter of thinking you want something when you really don't or somewhere inside yourself not believing you deserve to be loved and/or happy. Regardless of why, it's something you have work out for yourself. Best to sort it out while you're young and single. When it comes to issues of knowing oneself, if you don't, life can get messy before you even know what's happened. Good luck with things.

 

[D_Jacqueline_Boozann]

Volunteer yourself in your community, give, give, give, and much will be returned to you. Once your name is out there; everyone will be calling on you because you're outgoing (extroverted), giving, supportive, caring, and loving.

There are many organizations: animal shelters, hospitals, schools, senior citizens' seniors, homeless organizations. Become a volunteer dog walker -- you'll meeting plenty of interesting people in parks. Life guard? Hey, you could save some hot women in a crisis (get those numbers).

Anyway, these are some good ideas. I volunteer in my church...I am so busy, every chairperson of an organization wants me.

Blessings and peace!

Denise, Albuquerque, NM

 

[Tense0000]

*knock knock.............anyone call a tow truck?! An "Unzipped" phoned it in.
:wink:

If your pics reflect the true you (body parts and all) you should be out enjoying life... the right person will come along, but they won't just knock on your door asking to use your phone to call a tow truck... so chill and enjoy life...

 

[798686]

Being single is just not for me. I woke up this morning with an urge to roll over and cuddle but was met with nothing but air. I want someone to hold me and nuzzle their nose into my neck as I feel their breath pulsating down my neck and spine. Everyone I have had feelings for is either not interested or is in a relationship. Why do I always fall for people I can't have? I am so lonely. I need someone to be with.

Aww, come here then. :wink::tongue:

 

[august86]

I tend to agree with Dave, greenboy and Bbucko, it starts with self.
Only when you know what it is that you want, will you be able to project it to others- be it with gender, or most other preferences in life.

We all go through the "lonely phase" of singledom, so you're certainly not alone, and I know it can be frustrating and sometimes leave you feeling despondent, but don't miss out on what's ahead by wallowing on what's behind.

Try to do some introspection and decide who you are, who I presume (among others) is an intelligent, attractive and caring individual.
Someone will come along who wants you for you, and because they see their lives better with you in it :wink:

 

[92philip]

First of all Rikter8, fuck off. Seriously fuck off. Your comments are not helpful and are not constructive. It is ridiculous that everyone thinks that California is some gay mecca. For your information I live in one of the most conservative parts of the United States. And I live with my parents who don't understand my being gay, so I have a right to be pissed.
And just because I may be attractive does not mean that my self esteem is good. A good body doesn't make you happy. And yes I go outside, Asshole!

 

[gibguy]

Dont listen to narrow mindedness. Its definately not easy living with parents who cant understand you being gay! I was in the same scenario when I was younger so know exactly what you´re going through. Yes you´re a greta looking guy with a fantastic body but self esteem takes a while to build up and to accept it!!
Ignore negative comments, concentrate on be YOU and you will find love when you´re not looking for it............thats how it works.
You need to chat anytime.....you know where I am.
Keep smiling and be good to yourself

 

[Deve1opment]

Totally agree with gibguy. There's someone waiting out there just for you. Stay cool man!

 

[earllogjam]

Eat some chocolate while babysitting a friend's dog in the meantime.

Chin up, your loneliness is not forever.

 

[StatusQuo]

Being single is just not for me. I woke up this morning with an urge to roll over and cuddle but was met with nothing but air. I want someone to hold me and nuzzle their nose into my neck as I feel their breath pulsating down my neck and spine. Everyone I have had feelings for is either not interested or is in a relationship. Why do I always fall for people I can't have? I am so lonely. I need someone to be with.

Hey man, by far the coolest most dateable girls I know are all dating/engaged to my friends. I cant seem to meet one nearly on their level. It is very frustrating. I am just working on myself right now. There is a singles group where I live that does a bunch of crazy things (skydiving, whitewater rafting, etc.). I am kind of an adrenaline junkie and like stuff like that.

I would really recommend joining a group of people that have the same interests as you. I have played some sports with both sexes and met some cool people there. Also, I'm assuming the 92 in your name means you were born in 1992. If that is the case just make sure you go off somewhere to college. You would be hard pressed to find a university that is more hostile then where you're coming from.

EDIT: I hate to be such a downer but, late teens depression can be very severe. I had a friend, when he was about your age, that everyone thought had everything going for him. No one saw it coming. If you ever are seriously considering doing something to yourself, and you dont think you can talk to your parents, you need to call 911 and go to the hospital. You may think your parents dont understand you, but you have no idea what losing a child would do to them, or your family, or your friends. I hate to bring up such a depressing topic, and if you are not thinking these thoughts just disregard.

 

[aninnymouse]

It sounds like the best thing that you can do right now is to make arrangements to break out of where you are at. You said you're in a very conservative area of California, so if you haven't already, I'd suggest fiding a way to go off to school in either a different state, or a different part of California that's more liberal and gay friendly.

Break away, start to live your life the way you want it. That's probably the best way to build your self esteem. That way, you can start to do the work on yourself that you want to and need to; and to truly figure out what it is that you want out of life.

 

[Mate94]

First of all Rikter8, fuck off. Seriously fuck off. Your comments are not helpful and are not constructive. It is ridiculous that everyone thinks that California is some gay mecca. For your information I live in one of the most conservative parts of the United States. And I live with my parents who don't understand my being gay, so I have a right to be pissed.
And just because I may be attractive does not mean that my self esteem is good. A good body doesn't make you happy. And yes I go outside, Asshole!

Maybe something is wrong with your behaviour? Or just can't find somebody who is gay/the same age/and you attracted in?

 

[DavidXL]

Don't rush it. You will meet someone who will fulfill all of your needs. If you settle for someone out of loneliness, you may find yourself with someone next to you in your bed and yet just as lonely.

I was gonna say the same thing. I remember feeling that way a whole bunch of times. Waking up with someone - the wrong someone - and feeling lonely feels worse than just plain old vanilla feeling lonely.

You're a young guy. It takes a while to figure out who you are. I didn't find the first of the 2 people I've truly loved until I was about 27. And I remember aching with loneliness sometimes (and thinking during lonely, tough times in grad school, that it would be nice if someone just hugged me).

The only other advice I can give is, be patient, be open, be happy with yourself (including be happy being alone), get out and do things you like to do. It will happen - probably when you least expect it.

Good luck!

P.S. Nice gallery, you're nice to look at! Plus, the captions on your photos make me think you're probably funny or have a good sense of humor, all of which bodes well for you.

 

[92philip]

Thank you all. Although I want to make one thing clear, I am going to college and I work two jobs. I think people on this site assume that because I'm only 19 I just sit around and jerk off all day but that is not the case. I run my own personal training business, I teach group fitness, and I am going to school for Physical Therapy which is one of the most difficult majors on my campus. However, I am trying to be patient and work on myself but it is more difficult than it looks. I will keep trying though

 

[dolfette]

good for you!

you're a man with a plan, and the will to follow it through. i say be patient. this won't last forever.