I am such an IDIOT!!! (some comic relief)

Diesel2215

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Firstly I would like to start by saying I love my wife with all my heart, and would never do anything to embarrass her, This is more of a dig at me.

OK so most guys like me are pervs!! I have been married for 11 years and happily so! And since about the third year of marriage developed a fetish with Anal Sex (most guys do) you know the "forbidden fruity" thing.

So like the devious little devil I am i started introducing my wife to anal play, mostly when we were a little tipsy. I never ever pushed the issue, if I sensed a little apprehension I would stop. I have and always will be a gentleman when it comes to things like that. Sometimes she really got into it (finger only).
So decided if I expected her to do it, then I should first, that is how I sites with male prostrate stimulates. I purchased my first one and broke the news to her. I must admit it wasn't met with much enthusiasm at first. So I purchased the Peridise (Anaros) beginners set. And introduced it to her when we both indulged in a little "Mountain Cabbage" All went well, she actually reached quite an intense orgasm, but she couldn't take double penetration as she is A tiny petite lady.

So we went away for a dirty weekend and got really drunk and stoned. We had never used a condom in our marriage before, and she had mentioned she would like to try it. In the little chalet where we stayed they had a little home made container with disposable razor, plasters, sanitary pad and a condom. So my wife says "Hay lets try use a condom" I say "Cool" and on it goes. We start to make love and she turns around (my favourite position) and I'm going at it like a mad man, she moaning and I think she came, well it sounded like it. Then I remember she likes it missionary. So I turn her around, she looks at me and says in a very seductive voice "So did you like fucking me in the ass" I couldn't believe it I FUCKING MISSED IT:banghead2:, and she instigated it, she had it all planned out. Just then I pull out and try go THERE again, I got half my head in and came from the excitement. I couldn't go again.
Six freaking years of devious, cunning planning....... and I freaking missed it.

Just thought if I can laugh at my self, it will stop me for crying. :haha:
 

Principessa

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uhm, i am going to have admit that i am too stoned to comprehend this. anyone else?[/QUOTE] They went away for the weekend and after years of him trying to get her to do anal. He fucks her in the ass but didn't realize it. :rofl: Possibly because he was wearing a condom, or maybe cause she is one of those rare women whose anus is the exact same tightness as her vagina. :lmao: Either way it sounds like karmic retribution to me. :biggrin1:
 

Diesel2215

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uhm, i am going to have admit that i am too stoned to comprehend this. anyone else?

I just wanted to make someone smile! Sorry if my story is Badly written as English is my second language! At lease I didn't write and ask the lady's some stupid questions.

Peace

D
 
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Diesel2215

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uhm, i am going to have admit that i am too stoned to comprehend this. anyone else?[/QUOTE] They went away for the weekend and after years of him trying to get her to do anal. He fucks her in the ass but didn't realize it. :rofl: Possibly because he was wearing a condom, or maybe cause she is one of those rare women whose anus is the exact same tightness as her vagina. :lmao: Either way it sounds like karmic retribution to me. :biggrin1:

Thank you for seeing the humor in it!:biggrin1:
 

B_Nick8

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I think the OP sounds adorable but I think he came, or she came, or something...he's cute, but he's not a particularly clear writer. I have no idea what's going on. And I don't care, actually, as long as he's happy because those graphics were awfully illustrative and cute as well. Whatever.
 

Diesel2215

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I think the OP sounds adorable but I think he came, or she came, or something...he's cute, but he's not a particularly clear writer. I have no idea what's going on. And I don't care, actually, as long as he's happy because those graphics were awfully illustrative and cute as well. Whatever.

Thank Nick8, so glad I could make someone laugh!!