I am such an IDIOT!!! (some comic relief)

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Diesel2215, May 29, 2009.

  1. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    Firstly I would like to start by saying I love my wife with all my heart, and would never do anything to embarrass her, This is more of a dig at me.

    OK so most guys like me are pervs!! I have been married for 11 years and happily so! And since about the third year of marriage developed a fetish with Anal Sex (most guys do) you know the "forbidden fruity" thing.

    So like the devious little devil I am i started introducing my wife to anal play, mostly when we were a little tipsy. I never ever pushed the issue, if I sensed a little apprehension I would stop. I have and always will be a gentleman when it comes to things like that. Sometimes she really got into it (finger only).
    So decided if I expected her to do it, then I should first, that is how I sites with male prostrate stimulates. I purchased my first one and broke the news to her. I must admit it wasn't met with much enthusiasm at first. So I purchased the Peridise (Anaros) beginners set. And introduced it to her when we both indulged in a little "Mountain Cabbage" All went well, she actually reached quite an intense orgasm, but she couldn't take double penetration as she is A tiny petite lady.

    So we went away for a dirty weekend and got really drunk and stoned. We had never used a condom in our marriage before, and she had mentioned she would like to try it. In the little chalet where we stayed they had a little home made container with disposable razor, plasters, sanitary pad and a condom. So my wife says "Hay lets try use a condom" I say "Cool" and on it goes. We start to make love and she turns around (my favourite position) and I'm going at it like a mad man, she moaning and I think she came, well it sounded like it. Then I remember she likes it missionary. So I turn her around, she looks at me and says in a very seductive voice "So did you like fucking me in the ass" I couldn't believe it I FUCKING MISSED IT:banghead2:, and she instigated it, she had it all planned out. Just then I pull out and try go THERE again, I got half my head in and came from the excitement. I couldn't go again.
    Six freaking years of devious, cunning planning....... and I freaking missed it.

    Just thought if I can laugh at my self, it will stop me for crying. :haha:
     
  2. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    uhm, i am going to have admit that i am too stoned to comprehend this. anyone else?
     
  3. Principessa

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    God don't like ugly, and he cares very little for pretty. :cool:
     
  4. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    i dont understand that either..
     
  5. Principessa

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  6. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    I just wanted to make someone smile! Sorry if my story is Badly written as English is my second language! At lease I didn't write and ask the lady's some stupid questions.

    Peace

    D
     
    #6 Diesel2215, May 29, 2009
    Last edited: May 29, 2009
  7. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    Sorry don't understand Please explain!
     
  8. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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  9. dolfette

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    i laughed.
     
  10. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    Thanks dolfette!!!!
     
  11. Reallyonlyme

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  12. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I think the OP sounds adorable but I think he came, or she came, or something...he's cute, but he's not a particularly clear writer. I have no idea what's going on. And I don't care, actually, as long as he's happy because those graphics were awfully illustrative and cute as well. Whatever.
     
  13. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    Thank Nick8, so glad I could make someone laugh!!
     
  14. B_doc23cm

    B_doc23cm New Member

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    Bad luck mate! I would kick myself if that happened to me :(
     
  15. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Man that sucks. Oh well try it again some time then.
     
  16. RawDog

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  17. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    On the up side, she knows she can take it so she'll be easier to convince the second time.


    Or maybe she only said it was in the ass to stop you nagging :biglaugh:
     
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