I Bought a Ring for My Husband's Girlfriend.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Belly_Dancer, Feb 18, 2007.

  1. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    Yes, it's true, and we're all happy about it. How about that?

    Although ToolMan and I have filed for divorce, it will not be "final" until May 14. So until then, we are still "legally" married, even if psychologically, emotionally, sexually, and in every other way...we consider ourselves exes.

    So this is what happened:

    ToolMan was supposed to cook dinner for his new girlfriend on Valentine's day. It was a big deal -- he even called me for wine suggestions, and then again once he bought something, to ask about serving temperature and how long to let it breathe.

    Anyway, his girlfriend had an emergency at one of her rental properties, and had to cancel Valentine's at the last minute. So, they rescheduled their little celebration for this past Friday night (Feb 16).

    After work, I stop by the house (where TM still lives) to pick up some receipts, because I'm still filing his medical insurance claims (for now). He says he wants my opinion on something. He takes a small, gold foil-covered box out of the kitchen drawer, and opens it. It contains a gold ring with a little, round cluster of diamonds in the center.

    Then he says, "If I gave you this ring, what would you think?"

    With no hesitation, I answered "That you were proposing."

    He smacked his forehead. "Oh, Shit!" he said. "She loves rings, so I just wanted to get her a ring! I picked this up at a pawn shop. I just knew it wasn't right. Why did I buy it? Damn!"

    I agreed. He absolutely, positively could not give her that ring.

    So I showed him the ring I now wear on my left hand -- a heart design in sterling silver from Brighton Collectables. I said, "You need something like this."

    And even though I had worn the heart ring on my right hand for over a year before we split, he acted as if he had never seen it before. (Maybe it's a man thing?)

    Anyway, he started drooling over it. "That's perfect!" he said, holding out the pawn shop ring. "Can I have it? I'll trade you!"

    I looked at the ring for a bit, thinking. When I bought it, I was at the very beginning of my "Chrysalis" phase -- first really learning to love myself. I bought the heart ring as a reminder. Then, when TM and I split, I put it where my wedding ring used to be. Now, I wear a sterling silver "OM" ring on my right hand.

    I decided the heart ring just had too much sentimental value for me to give it away. Besides, the pawn shop ring was fugly and I didn't want it.

    "No, you can not have my heart ring!" I declared.

    He looked at the OM ring, predatorily.

    "And you can't have my OM ring, either!" I stated, emphatically. "What you need to do is get your ass to Brighton. Do you have time to go to Brighton?"

    He got that "panicked-stricken-man" look.

    "No!" he said. "I still have to go to the grocery store and get the food for dinner!"

    I rolled my eyes, then shook my head. Despite our divorce, TM is still a good friend. A good guy friend in a serious predicament. He couldn't give her the gold ring, I wasn't giving him either of my rings, and he didn't have time to go buy a ring, so the bottom line was...

    He did not have a valentine's present for his girlfriend! :eek:

    Not good.

    Now, I often help complete strangers, so I thought for a moment, and decided...what the hell.

    "Do you want me to bail your ass out?" I offered.

    He gaped at me. "You would do that?" he asked, incredulously.

    I shrugged. "Of course I would. Friends help friends. You're in a predicament, so I'll help you."

    He threw himself at me, hugging me. "You're awesome!" he cried, then pulled away and observed, "I'd forgotten how skinny you are."

    I didn't know quite what to make of that.

    But to make a long story even longer, I went to the mall, power-walked to Brighton Collectables, found the exact same ring in a size bigger (which she really needed anyway, so giving her my ring wouldn't have been a great idea). The saleslady saw I was wearing the same ring, and gave my a questioning look.

    "I'm helping out a male friend," I said.

    There was absolutely no way I was going to try to explain that...

    I was buying a Valentine's day present for my husband's girlfriend.:biggrin1: :rolleyes:

    I had it gift-wrapped and everything, and dropped it by the house just before she was due to arrive, thus saving a budding relationship from certain disaster.

    "Thank you," ToolMan said tearfully. "I think this may be the coolest thing you've ever done for me."

    Hmm...seventeen years together...fourteen years of marriage...and this is the coolest thing I've ever done for him?

    Ain't life a fucking riot?:tongue: :rolleyes: :biggrin1:

    And BTW, everyone lived happily ever after. She loves the ring -- cried happy tears when he gave it to her (and no, she doesn't know I had anything to do with it). :wink:
     
  2. jakeatolla

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    You may be the next Mother Theressa !!!!
    I'm sure you'll be sainted for this.
    :rolleyes:
     
  3. Mr. Snakey

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    Thats so great the way things are working out for you Toolman. You are one hell of a great lady to give up that ring. I can think of many a woman who wouldn't. This is really great you are getting along so well. A divorce can be hell. My divorce was a nightmare. Now i cant wait for the ring you may be getting from a certain someone. :smile: :wink: :popcorn:
     
  4. agnslz

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    What if she ever sees the same ring on you, and gets upset?:eek:

    Well, in all seriousness, I think it's great that you could do something like this for your soon to be ex-husband and his new flame. Hopefully, it signals that you two will always be able to have a friendly relationship with each other even after your divorce goes through. It certainly seems that way already!:biggrin::smile:
     
  5. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    If I'm ever around her...I'll take it off. (I hope I remember...):eek: :biggrin1:

    Thank you. At first I wasn't sure whether the "amicability" would last, but it's not only lasting, it's getting more casual and relaxed all the time. We're using a mediator (not attorneys) to take care of the details of our divorce, and as I said in my thread last night, we really are there for each other as friends (or like brother and sister...okay that's a weird thought...eeewww).

    Anyway, we were not compatible as husband and wife, but after having stuck it out for so many years, we know each other better than anybody. If he calls me about a relationship issue and says, "Help! I'm freakin' out!" (or vice versa) we are the best equipped to say to one another, "This is what's going on, and you'd better get your shit together."

    It's so easy for both of us to understand where we went wrong, and to help each other not go wrong in those ways with our new partners.

    Yes, it's definitely cool. I, too, hope it lasts.
     
  6. GoneA

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    HollyBlue: You're fuckin' awesome.

    I think I'd do the same thing, but I won't know for sure until I actually find myself in that situation. :wink:
     
  7. HazelGod

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    No truer words...
     
  8. DGirl

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    You are ONE good women...."
    That is ALL I can say...........:eek: !!
     
  9. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Holly, you are fabulous!
     
  10. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Ok, that is very kind and generous of you. However, I am still writing all this down and sending it in to a soap opera.
     
  11. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Keep on healing Hollyblue. Find yourself and learn to fly. :kiss:
     
  12. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    Thanks for making me laugh right before bedtime. I love it.
     
  13. invisibleman

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    I bought a ring for my husband's girlfriend...

    Yes, it's true, and we're all happy about it. How about that?

    And BTW, everyone lived happily ever after. She loves the ring -- cried happy tears when he gave it to her (and no, she doesn't know I had anything to do with it). :wink:

    It will turn the girlfriend's finger green and get gangrenous. So that she will never get married to the hubby. After all, she can't get married if she has no wedding finger. Genious!!! Genious!!!:smile: Joking.


    Besides, the pawn shop ring was fugly and I didn't want it.
    Fugly is the new word for the millennium. Embrace it. I love the way it sounds.:smile:



    "Thank you," ToolMan said tearfully. "I think this may be the coolest thing you've ever done for me." I know what you were thinking ..."Hmm... seventeen years together...fourteen years of marriage...and this is the
    coolest thing I've done for him?!!! Don't make me start a riot!!!!!! Girlfriend=====>:fest06:<====Ring attached to hand grenade. Hahaha. :mad: :wink: :mad: :smile:

    Hmm...seventeen years together...fourteen years of marriage...and this is the coolest thing I've ever done for him?

    Ain't life a fucking riot?:tongue: :rolleyes: :biggrin1: I was close. (Sighs.) :smile:
     
  14. Principessa

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    You are a far better woman than I am Holly Blue.
    I hope one day to reach that level of catharsis.

    njqt466

     
  15. Mr. Snakey

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    :smile:
    My dear friend Patsy. I see this in your future too. I have an uncanny sense of knowing things about people. I am no John Edwards by any means. What i lack in book smart i can sense this in peoples lifes even on the internet. Ask Holly. This will happen for you because you are a beautfull woman also with a heart of gold. I spent many a lonely night till i found someone and it was around your age now. There are some great guys on here who arent pigs take the time to know them. Oh my i just realized im older than movies. Im here for you girl day or night. If anyone gives you shit let me know! Kim says hi. She is going for a relaxer. Thanx for the place.
     
  16. HazelGod

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    Sorry for going off-topic, but I've been meaning to say this for a while...

    Uncut, man, I love your rotating montage of avatar photos!
     
  17. Mr. Snakey

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  18. Love-it

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    If we could manipulate the relevant bits of HollyBlue's DNA throughout the world's population, world peace would be ensured.
     
  19. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    Except when they all get HollyBlue's PMS; then the entire population would murder each other. :biggrin1:

    Don't worry...I have approximately 12 more days before I turn into the Evil Princess of the Darkness. The condition is, fortunately, temporary, and can be easily dealt with by just leaving me the hell alone. :salook:

    Five days later, I turn back into the Angel of Sweetness and Light. Well, mostly. That's why instead of calling me, "My sweet," TM used to call me, "My mostly sweet." :wink:

    I think he hit the nail on head. :tongue:
     
  20. Epistasia

    Epistasia Member

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    It's really too bad that at my age (23), a woman can't generally show this level of maturity without being taken advantage of. I look forward to a day when I can do a favor for someone without having to worry about them thinking of me as their new doormat.
     
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