Anyway, the biggest favor you did was for yourself. You get to set the tone for your relationship with your soon-to-be ex, and why make an enemy where you could retain a friend? If the friendship is worth having then it's worth having now. In addition to growing in the esteem of your friends, you know the real reward is the growth you get to experience. I'm very, very happy for you that you aren't wasting time with negativity, even though doing so would be quite understandable.
My daughter's father and I remained friends after our divorce, and probably consider each other among our better friends to this day. When he remarried, I often took his wife's son along with my daughter when I came to get her so they could have some time alone. I considered the boy a part of my extended family and was grateful for someone else to love.
I'll bet your almost-ex will be right there for you too the next time you need a hand with something, I'd think you made quite an impression. Amazing stuff, good for all of us to see what a difference it makes to be willing to give of ourselves even when it's not the easiest thing to do.
Thanks, MZ,
and everyone else.
It's fascinating to me -- I posted this thread not to say "oh look what a cool person I am" -- didn't expect the kinds of responses I got
at all!!
I posted it just because I thought the...absurdity of the situation was rather amusing.
Thanks for all the compliments, but it was no big. As I said, friends help friends, and as several people have said, setting a positive and giving tone beats negativity any day.
The wonderful thing is...while I was still in the relationship, I
still always tried to set a positive and giving tone, but it was far more difficult because my needs weren't being met, and I was in an unsatisfying situation.
Now I'm in a mind-blowingly happy relationship, and I'm out of the less-than-satisfying one. Trust me, it's
far easier now to be positive and giving than it was when I still lived under the same roof with TM.
And...what was said above was very prophetic. I mentioned on the phone that I was out of windshield washer fluid and didn't have time to get any.
Guess who showed up on my doorstep with a jug of windshield washer fluid?
TM handed it to me, I thanked him, we laughed, and then he went to get back to his GF.
I'm no saint (just ask
anyone who knows me well):wink: ...I'm simply a person who is choosing to live with an open heart. :wink:
Thanks again for all the positive remarks. I wasn't fishing, I swear.