I cant have an orgasm unless Im masturbating

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Imported, Jun 20, 2005.

  1. Imported

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    yes.: For some reason whenever my girlfriend and I have sex, or she gives me a blowjob or handjob, I can't come. I'm 17 and this is the first person I've had sex with and we've had sex 5 times now. I can have an orgasm fine when I masturbate but when we're having sex I just don't come. Everything feels fine and we're both enjoying it, but I just can't have an orgasm. Does anyone know why this might be? My biggest concern is that I've pampered myself to come by masturbating a certain way and that I might not be able to have an orgasm. Any help would be appreciated.
     
  2. woskxn

    woskxn New Member

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    its nerves.

    You might think you are just fine and you are not over thinking it all but deep down, mentally, you are probably thinking too much and are probably abit nervous..so thats normal.
    When you get more experience, you should not have those problems.
     
  3. Imported

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    yes.: That's weird, I definitely don't think it's mental, but maybe it is and I don't realize it.
     
  4. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Okay

    For one, you have to get used to something other than your hand being on your dick. You're so used to your hand that a warm and wet vagina doesn't feel good...You must be crazy hehe. Anyway do that and maybe when you're masturbating try and synthesise the way a vagina feels? Then get used to it and you can cum I guess it takes time. I find it hard to cum sometimes but that's usually cos I don't wanna hehe I wanna keep goin.

    Or maybe the girl isn't that attractive to you or your nerves are stoppping you. Take your pick :D
     
  5. Secretariat

    Secretariat New Member

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    Something else to bear in mind...

    When you guys are having sex,how long has it been since you masturbated? Because that matters also.Try to go a few days leading up to your next time with her without it and you should be horny enough to cum. Possibly too quickly but just warn her the first one may be fast but you'll be ready to go again soon enough LOL.

    Like if you get home from school and are horny and whack it,then see her in 3 hours and have sex it may be part of the problem.

    Good luck,it will all sort out.
     
  6. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

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    It's nerves most likely man. I had the same thing happen to me the first two times I had sex, and I know how embarassing it feels. I just couldn't get off no matter how hard I tried, and I know she thought something was wrong with her as well, which really sucked. Don't fret man, hold out for a while, and you should be ok dude.
     
  7. Imported

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    levine: Have had similar issues, especially on days I've masterbated. After jackin twice in one day I can't usually cum through intercourse on the same day. As others have said it can be several things but my experience is with too much masterbating :D
     
  8. Imported

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    petite_asianbabe: Maybe try to incorporate your girlfriend when you masturbate so you can associate cumming with her. Have her learn your 'special technique'. Then you can move on to cumming during sex. Or, try masturbating to a picture of her?!
     
  9. Max

    Max New Member

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    I agree that it's a question of nervousness. For a short while I was in exactly the same position as you; something prevented me from letting go and ejaculating inside my partner.

    It seems crazy, but I think it was some sort of subconcious control reflex, that I had to un-learn. At the conscious level I think it had to do with my acute awareness of the force and quantity of my ejaculation; it felt gross to expect her to cope with me doing that inside her, especially when she was having to cope with a fair amount of discomfort and stretching already.

    She helped me get out of that way of thinking very fast ;) In my case masturbation shortly beforehand was a good idea, because I knew that it would make things more manageable.
     
  10. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    I usually find it hard to reach orgasm when I'm with a new partner. It just takes getting used to what they do, and letting yourself come through a new kind of stimulation.
    All I have to say is practice makes perfect, and if you just relax and think about things that turn you on while it's going on, you'll be shooting all over the place in no time!
     
  11. zgrog2000

    zgrog2000 New Member

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    Maybe deep down inside you don't like women.
     
  12. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

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    That's just great asshole.....someone lacks confidence and feels vunerable and you go and say something like that. That's really nice of you man.
     
  13. Imported

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    yes.: I lack confidence and feel vunerable?
     
  14. VinceNYC

    VinceNYC New Member

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    And apparently you're gay. You're learning a lot about yourself today! :D
     
  15. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Oh, is that so? Well, maybe that's a good thing. I mean if you can't even get yourself off by jerking, then I'd be pretty worried about you... :)

    Sounds like a bad case of nerves -- certainly not made any better by the fact that you're relatively young and inexperienced. Your first ventures into sex are probably the most difficult because, at the very least, you've got somebody else to try to turn on and get satisfied. So, the more you worry about doing everything she wants to do and the more you ignore your own feelings and the more wound up you get, the way more likely you won't perform like you wish.

    Ignore her, you think I'm saying? Not necessarily. I'm telling you to relax. And even though she's not with you right now, I'm telling her to do the same thing. Whether she admits it or not, she might be putting undue pressure on you to have wall-socket sex, and if you're chock full of nerves, you can't. So, instead of trying to get it up, get it in and get it off, find out how she likes to be touched and learn it slowly. If she's in a hurry, then maybe she should slow it down too.
     
  16. LOVEARIAS

    LOVEARIAS New Member

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    When I was younger and having sex with my first boyfriends they usually had the opposite problem in that they would come much too quickly. My advice would be to relax and try to concentrate all your energies on getting your girlfriend to cum rather than worrying about yourself. You might find that her excitement might help you along.
     
  17. KinkGuy

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    At your age, it is very common for it to be difficult if not impossible to orgasm via oral or a handjob from what is, in essence a totally new partner. Vaginal intercourse can be the same. Nerves. Relax, explore each other, learn what feels good to both of you and all will resolve itself naturally. Performance anxiety is a male curse. You worry about cumming too soon, not soon enough, is she enjoying the act, questions, self doubt......it all adds up to a nervous, trying and sometimes frustrating situation. Nature will make it all work out...if you let it. Relax and enjoy.
     
  18. arliss

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    hmmm we have something in common....i cannot come from a blowjob...and i have have some dynamite blowjobs in my young life but they do not do the trick for me.... and i hate handjobs unless of course the hnds belong to me ....i do however come when i masturbate..and for the record men do not have orgasms....
     
  19. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    What kinda drugs are you taking?
     
  20. SassySpy

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    what do they have then? Enquiring minds want to know.
     
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