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I did it

dickbeater27

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The other night I was hanging out with my girlfriend and we started talking about us and I finally told her that I am gay. I have been sure about it now for about a month and I just have felt horrible about not telling her, like I was stringing her along.

It was honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It took me about an hour to finally get it out. After I told her that I am gay I told her how sorry I was for not telling her sooner and for stringing her along. I was mostly afraid that she would hate me for breaking up with her. Once I got it out I felt like I was finally able to talk about it and I just started telling her about everything and then I just started crying my eyes out. She started crying too and she just held me and talked to me.

She wasn't mad and she accepted me. We talked about it and we are still best friends. She promised not to tell anyone else until i come out to my family, which she agreed to be there for. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, and I am writing this for anyone who has the same problem I was facing. It is nice to have someone you can count on and I am glad to have such a good friend.
 

unabear09

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Congrats. Hope everything works out well for you
 

Viking_UK

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She sounds like a good friend. You're lucky to have one of those. Good luck with coming out to your folks.
 

nealin

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Im sure a great weight has been lifted off you, and you have an amazing friend.
nothing better than living as you wish and being true to yourself.
 

digitalhunk007

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That took a lot of guts man. There are many guys out there who wouldn't have done what you did.

If you know you're gay and you came clean with it, you're doing yourself a favor in the long run because your life won't be a 'fat lie' as they say. Just want to let you know that there are many people here on this board including myself who support you. Be who you are and be proud of it.

Good luck man.
 

rbkwp

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Beautiful outcome matey
Worked out really well, you have every right to be proud
of youself and great to hear the way your x GF reacted
So very HAPPY for you
Cheers
enz
 

killerb

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I'm glad that you did the right thing & I'm sure you feel much better for it...

That took courage, so you should be proud of yourself. :fing02:
 

hung

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I trust that soon you will discuss this with your parent/s.

As a parent I can certainly say that while it may be challenging for them, they will accept the situation.

After all you are a Son.

I wish you well.

Keep us updated.
 

flame boy

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You did a really brave thing and your girlfriend took the news very well. It's a shame more people couldn't take a page out of her book. Congratulations on taking this huge step :)
 

B_Nick8

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That was in incredibly brave thing to do and you should be proud of yourself. It is also truly self-actualizing; now you can really begin to explore yourself and live your life in a more comfortable and honest way.

Your girlfriend is an amazing person. I can imagine how much you cherish her.
 

Countryguy63

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I just want to repeat "Congratulations" and offer my support. You are very lucky to have a wonderful girlfriend that is so caring and understanding.

Don't pressure yourself to come out too soon to others. Don't get me wrong, don't "hide it", but it doesn't have to be something that adds stress to you.

Treat it on a "need to know" basis. Some folks, you'll feel the need to let them know. For me, I won't lie about my bisexuality if asked, but don't feel the need to tell everyone either.

God, I know the relief that you are feeling right now. Again, Congratulations!
 

Swordie

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Is she HOT? I want to throw my hat in the ring - to bang BOTH of u at the same time...
 

Maxime_

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Congrats!and welcome to the club ihihihi!coming outs are hard but when you do the first one,then you feel like you can tell everyone very easily. Everybody knows me as gay,but my parents! i don't wanna tell my parents because they show they know,they don't accept it and would prefer not to know it clearly. Anyway they don't cause me problems for what i am,so it is good. I also don't want them to care about my sexual life.If i had a girlfriend i wouldn't tell them either....
Anyway i've never had friends driving mad for my being gay. They should feel disappointed only if they felt something for you....and about boyfriends some of them will run away because of omophobia but the true ones will stay.
Good luck for your parents anyway!it is always hard!
 

dickbeater27

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Thanks for all the support guys. I do feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, but I don't think it will be any easier to tell my other friends and family members. And I am not ready to tell them anyway. And going through something like this really makes me appreciate how wonderful of a friend she really is.
 

Principessa

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Thanks for all the support guys. I do feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, but I don't think it will be any easier to tell my other friends and family members. And I am not ready to tell them anyway. And going through something like this really makes me appreciate how wonderful of a friend she really is.
I'm glad you were honest with your ex-gf, now friend. :fing02: That can't have been easy for you. I can't help but think her being so accepting is because on some level she already knew. Cherish her on your journey. I'm sure she will be a valuable ally in the future.

Congratulations :hug: :cool:


Is she HOT? I want to throw my hat in the ring - to bang BOTH of u at the same time...
ROTFLMAO :rofl:
 

ewa123

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Yes, I sure I understand the importance of having a friend there for me.

That person happened to be my sister. She knew I was gay long before I would admit it and happened to bring it up (without me being present) to my family. They said "we shouldn't talk about this without him being here, let's just wait and see".

But I do credit her with breaking the ice. Once I did tell my family, there was some mild suprise, but everyone seemed to deal with it in their own way without anything overtly negative and now things are great. Telling my sister might have been hard for a second, but after that, I wondered why I didn't tell her sooner? If there was distance between us, this brought us closer almost immediately and we've stayed that way. Hopefully and you your GF will be close like this.

Congratulations for acknowledging yourself. Great going. Hopefully, you'll soon gain confidence to tell the other people who matter to you. And I sincerely hope they'll be supportive of you.
 

DiscoBoy

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This story is so touching and I'm glad that things worked out in the way they did for you.

The 'first' is always, I think, the most difficult to tell. Once you have that one person that knows, that you can turn to when you need to discuss it, that'll be there to support you when you decide to tell other people, it makes everything that much easier.

Don't feel pressured to tell the people surrounding you until you find yourself absolutely ready to deal with the potential backlash and reactions.

The ball's in motion. :hug:
 

mdshorts

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Congrats - I think most of us remember the first time we told anyone, and the crazy rollercoaster of emotions involved.
I don't mean to suguest that your friend would lie to you and out you behind your back, but are you prepared incase she betrays your confidence? Sometimes people have a hard time keeping big secrets like that, things slip out when out with the girls...
I hope that doesn't happen, that you get to tell people when and how you choose - but just in case, think about how you might handle people knowing before you're prepared to tell them.
 

NCbear

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Congratulations! I admire your strength and respect you for your honesty.

A tiny little bit of unsolicited advice: Just remember that you'll be coming out for the rest of your life. Think about how you want to frame it, because others will take their cue from you.

For example, if you sort of hang your head, or drop the volume of your voice when you say the word "gay," or in any other way act as though you're ashamed of being gay, others will pick up on that, and they'll treat you either as a victim (and act condescendingly toward you) or as a taboo person (the "white wolf" that the others turn on and either kill or drive out of the pack).

But if you act assertively and meet people's eyes as you say the words "I'm gay" and smile and act comfortable in your own skin, people will follow that cue as well. Even the homophobic ones will say some of what I said above, including "I respect you for your honesty."

My best to you, and PM me if you'd like to hear some examples of my continued coming-out scenarios in this heterosexual-assuming society.

NCbear (who's misread as straight far more often than read accurately as gay :rolleyes:)
 

Crex

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After two and a half years, I finally came out to my ex girlfriend in October. It did not go well, initially, because I did it in a very stupid, selfish, and drunken way. We'd broken up in August because I felt terrible for stringing her along and she was very much in love with me. However, she still had it in her head that I was going to change my mind.

After I told her, she went to one of my good friend's wife and told her, which started a huge fight. However, two weeks later we talked about it and now we're just as close as ever. It was the hardest thing I had ever done and the two weeks of uncertainty over her mental stability were just terrible, but I'm so glad I did it.
 

CUBE

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Wow, you must be going through so much. Glad you took the first step. Great friend you have. Be safe in your journey. Regards.