I did it

dickbeater27

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Thanks for all the support guys. I do feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, but I don't think it will be any easier to tell my other friends and family members. And I am not ready to tell them anyway. And going through something like this really makes me appreciate how wonderful of a friend she really is.
 

Principessa

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Thanks for all the support guys. I do feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, but I don't think it will be any easier to tell my other friends and family members. And I am not ready to tell them anyway. And going through something like this really makes me appreciate how wonderful of a friend she really is.
I'm glad you were honest with your ex-gf, now friend. :fing02: That can't have been easy for you. I can't help but think her being so accepting is because on some level she already knew. Cherish her on your journey. I'm sure she will be a valuable ally in the future.

Congratulations :hug: :cool:


Is she HOT? I want to throw my hat in the ring - to bang BOTH of u at the same time...
ROTFLMAO :rofl:
 

ewa123

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Yes, I sure I understand the importance of having a friend there for me.

That person happened to be my sister. She knew I was gay long before I would admit it and happened to bring it up (without me being present) to my family. They said "we shouldn't talk about this without him being here, let's just wait and see".

But I do credit her with breaking the ice. Once I did tell my family, there was some mild suprise, but everyone seemed to deal with it in their own way without anything overtly negative and now things are great. Telling my sister might have been hard for a second, but after that, I wondered why I didn't tell her sooner? If there was distance between us, this brought us closer almost immediately and we've stayed that way. Hopefully and you your GF will be close like this.

Congratulations for acknowledging yourself. Great going. Hopefully, you'll soon gain confidence to tell the other people who matter to you. And I sincerely hope they'll be supportive of you.
 

DiscoBoy

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This story is so touching and I'm glad that things worked out in the way they did for you.

The 'first' is always, I think, the most difficult to tell. Once you have that one person that knows, that you can turn to when you need to discuss it, that'll be there to support you when you decide to tell other people, it makes everything that much easier.

Don't feel pressured to tell the people surrounding you until you find yourself absolutely ready to deal with the potential backlash and reactions.

The ball's in motion. :hug:
 

mdshorts

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Congrats - I think most of us remember the first time we told anyone, and the crazy rollercoaster of emotions involved.
I don't mean to suguest that your friend would lie to you and out you behind your back, but are you prepared incase she betrays your confidence? Sometimes people have a hard time keeping big secrets like that, things slip out when out with the girls...
I hope that doesn't happen, that you get to tell people when and how you choose - but just in case, think about how you might handle people knowing before you're prepared to tell them.
 

NCbear

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Congratulations! I admire your strength and respect you for your honesty.

A tiny little bit of unsolicited advice: Just remember that you'll be coming out for the rest of your life. Think about how you want to frame it, because others will take their cue from you.

For example, if you sort of hang your head, or drop the volume of your voice when you say the word "gay," or in any other way act as though you're ashamed of being gay, others will pick up on that, and they'll treat you either as a victim (and act condescendingly toward you) or as a taboo person (the "white wolf" that the others turn on and either kill or drive out of the pack).

But if you act assertively and meet people's eyes as you say the words "I'm gay" and smile and act comfortable in your own skin, people will follow that cue as well. Even the homophobic ones will say some of what I said above, including "I respect you for your honesty."

My best to you, and PM me if you'd like to hear some examples of my continued coming-out scenarios in this heterosexual-assuming society.

NCbear (who's misread as straight far more often than read accurately as gay :rolleyes:)
 

Crex

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After two and a half years, I finally came out to my ex girlfriend in October. It did not go well, initially, because I did it in a very stupid, selfish, and drunken way. We'd broken up in August because I felt terrible for stringing her along and she was very much in love with me. However, she still had it in her head that I was going to change my mind.

After I told her, she went to one of my good friend's wife and told her, which started a huge fight. However, two weeks later we talked about it and now we're just as close as ever. It was the hardest thing I had ever done and the two weeks of uncertainty over her mental stability were just terrible, but I'm so glad I did it.
 

Roark1976

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be glad it happened the way it did, and without regret. i was in a similar boat years ago - i had been sleeping with guys since i was 14, but dated this girl all through college (we were even talking about marriage) - but i finally told her what was up. i didn't lie to her as much as i was lying to myself. after 8 years of late night boy on boy i never admitted to myself that i was gay.

she was pretty pissed off at first, but a couple of years later we were friends and have been extremely close ever since.
 

lopo2000

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I'm so happy for you! Coming out is a liberating process, though very difficult to do in the first place... Then you have found your best friend, you keep her by your side and be there when you need her. It's very important. :)
 

8060

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Well done, sir! Mad applause to you for facing your fear. Fear is something that we're all bound to encounter one day. I had my day back in 2003. It was hard, but short. Once I told one, I told everybody. That's wasn't going to be something that I did over and over again. It gets easier, especially after you've been able to wrap yourself in LOVE instead of that fear of blah, blah, blah...so many things. Just imagine how much more content you will feel at 40 years old now that you've accomplished this great feat at 20.

BRAVO! Welcome home!
 

hunkydory

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I have nothing to add to all the good stuff everybody else has said, but I see from your pics you are young and very handsome too and so much better to come out now then when you are in your 50's or 60's - I have met a couple guys who did that and they are filled with regret - although still very happy they eventually came out. p.s. just about every fear you have about being a gay man is probably not true :kiss: :biggrin1:
Young, hung, handsome and gay is not a bad combo.