I don’t get it...

[englad]

In respect to guys who don’t wha t to accept themselves and open themselves up, thereby making a hypocrite of themselves. However, are there not guys, and I’ve seen them on here, who want jack off buddies, oral and so forth without kissing the guy? I’ve been in situations where I didn’t want to kiss, although depending on the guy, I will kiss. The other party never complained.

I’ve also been with a guy who wanted to kiss but didn’t want to weird me out (didn’t know how I would take it). So the behavior seems to be well understood from both sides and in some instances.

Of course that can happen. But I think there is usually a big difference between what it is explicitly stated and the underlying motivations for why they think that way. It smacks of the fear of the consequences of potential intimacy rather than a lack of desire for it. That undertone is rife with many of those guys you mentioned. This sentence from an earlier poster reeks of it:


"As a 30% gay man, I understand the OP’s adversion to kissing as I’ve no romantic attractions to men"

My response. Well as a "1% straight man" lol, I have 0 aversion to kissing women and have done so on numerous occasions. That lack of aversion is primarily there because I know feelings aren't going to develop. That's also because kissing can be for shits and giggles from my perspective.

I've had plenty of cases where the kissing is more passionate or less passionate, but it's pretty much always been there since I've been out. So I guess an important factor within that would be how comfortable were with your sexuality at the time.

 

[evolution]

Of course that can happen. But I think there is usually a big difference between what it is explicitly stated and the underlying motivations for why they think that way. It smacks of the fear of the consequences of potential intimacy rather than a lack of desire for it. That undertone is rife with many of those guys you mentioned. This sentence from an earlier poster reeks of it:


"As a 30% gay man, I understand the OP’s adversion to kissing as I’ve no romantic attractions to men"

My response. Well as a "1% straight man" lol, I have 0 aversion to kissing women and have done so on numerous occasions. That lack of aversion is primarily there because I know feelings aren't going to develop. That's also because kissing can be for shits and giggles from my perspective.

I've had plenty of cases where the kissing is more passionate or less passionate, but it's pretty much always been there since I've been out. So I guess an important factor within that would be how comfortable were with your sexuality at the time.

Sounds to me like you are forcing your background/experiences/conclusions on others.
I have zero interest in kissing a man. Does that mean I'm in denial & afraid of falling for a guy?
I have zero interest in kissing a woman. I simply don't like kissing. I don't see it as mere sport, simple play with or without passion. You seem to say you do find it to just be a required part of foreplay to be done regardless of levels of passion. That's fine if that works for you, but I think it's a very limited mindset to assume that works for everyone or else they are closeted homophobe (or however you phrased it early in the thread).

If the OP wants to be in a blow & go situation - fine. Good for him. Wish he was closer - LOL.
We all have our own backgrounds, experiences, internal moral compass, needs, desires. Sexuality is fluid.

"Rules" can be discussed & agreed upon. But to condemn someone for having a differing set is disappointing.

Hey OP - try saying you are looking for Blow & Go. You can define in conversations if you want mutual or only to give / to receive. All should be clear & hopefully you'll have better results going forward. Good luck in your journey.

 

[englad]

Sounds to me like you are forcing your background/experiences/conclusions on others.
I have zero interest in kissing a man. Does that mean I'm in denial & afraid of falling for a guy?
I have zero interest in kissing a woman. I simply don't like kissing. I don't see it as mere sport, simple play with or without passion. You seem to say you do find it to just be a required part of foreplay to be done regardless of levels of passion. That's fine if that works for you, but I think it's a very limited mindset to assume that works for everyone or else they are closeted homophobe (or however you phrased it early in the thread).

I'm talking about the likeliest possibilities here. I think it's escaped very few people's attention that the kissing hang up is overwhelmingly men regarding other men in sexual encounters, the likeliest reason for that discrepancy is due to internalised homophobia. It's rarely seen in any other gender/sexuality combination when it comes to the topic . At no point WHATSOEVER did I claim that was for "everyone", hence using words like "a lot" or "most" or "many". But many people require kissing as part of a healthy and positive sexual experience. I haven't had any difficulties in sticking to oral sex in sexual encounters, primarily because I don't have the kissing hang up.

If the OP wants to be in a blow & go situation - fine. Good for him. Wish he was closer - LOL.
We all have our own backgrounds, experiences, internal moral compass, needs, desires. Sexuality is fluid.

"Rules" can be discussed & agreed upon. But to condemn someone for having a differing set is disappointing.

Hey OP - try saying you are looking for Blow & Go. You can define in conversations if you want mutual or only to give / to receive. All should be clear & hopefully you'll have better results going forward. Good luck in your journey.

The OP came in stating he has an extremely limited sexual set up that he's looking for, and then whined about plenty of guys not being satisfied with that. Well yes and water is wet, the grass is green and the ocean is salty too. Posting something on a public platform does not entitle you to immunity from criticism.

 

[Almost40]

there are a ton of guys who like getting / giving head, not considering penetration at all. You only have to be clear from the begining and make sure the person you are going to hook up with is on the same page.

 

[rayray]

Sounds to me like you are forcing your background/experiences/conclusions on others.
I have zero interest in kissing a man. Does that mean I'm in denial & afraid of falling for a guy?
I have zero interest in kissing a woman. I simply don't like kissing. I don't see it as mere sport, simple play with or without passion. You seem to say you do find it to just be a required part of foreplay to be done regardless of levels of passion. That's fine if that works for you, but I think it's a very limited mindset to assume that works for everyone or else they are closeted homophobe (or however you phrased it early in the thread).

If the OP wants to be in a blow & go situation - fine. Good for him. Wish he was closer - LOL.
We all have our own backgrounds, experiences, internal moral compass, needs, desires. Sexuality is fluid.

"Rules" can be discussed & agreed upon. But to condemn someone for having a differing set is disappointing.

Hey OP - try saying you are looking for Blow & Go. You can define in conversations if you want mutual or only to give / to receive. All should be clear & hopefully you'll have better results going forward. Good luck in your journey.

@evolution i like the way you think . It all about the cock for the OP .There are plenty of men out there who only want that . Setting it up as a blow and go beforehand is the right thing to do . I've seen his pictures and he looks pretty hot which is making it much harder for him. I also know that some men will push the envelope even if there were boundaries set beforehand . There are people who spend hours of lovemaking that will involve passionate kissing(I've seen this in alot of movies), If you enjoy kissing, good for you, this OP doesn't, you got to respect that . That's not internalize homophobic as i see it for this guy . He bisexual. Maybe he will evolve into more later . It's his choice.