I don't know what to do, I'm so depressed and scared

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Dragon88, Feb 16, 2009.

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  1. Dragon88

    Dragon88 New Member

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    Something awful happened to me, and now I don't know what to do about it. I'm not sure where to seek advice, but maybe some of you can help me out, 'cause I'm so incredibly helpless. And I'm so embarrassed.

    Last Saturday I got raped by another man... I was out and met him at a bar, and he seemed so nice and we talked for two hours. I'm not gay, but bi, so I wanted to do some exploring, so we went back to my place. In the start, right after we only had our underwear on and was kissing, I got uncomfortable and told him that I couldn't do it. Than, he got really mad and said that I only was leading him off and than turning him down, as a tease.

    He refused to let it go and leave, so he threw me down on the bed and started raping me... I'm so depressed, and so scared, and I don't know what to do. I know I should call the police and everything, but I only know his first name, which won't help that much in a city of half a million people. I have experienced that if you don't have enough information about the incident, you don't get that far in solving the case, and I won't go through something that awful and embarrassing if it don't result in anything! I was not drunk or influenced when it happened, but he had a couple of drinks, I think... I don't remember that much, 'cause I've suppressed as much of it as possible.

    Afterward, I showered and showered and showered, but I can't get clean, and I feel so disgusting. I can't even sleep in my own bed, because it wakes everything back. I sleep with a knife under my pillow in my living room floor, since I'm terrified that he will come back. He knows where I live... Please someone tell me what I should do... :worried:
     
  2. firstone2b

    firstone2b New Member

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    You have to know you didn't do anything wrong....so if you are blaming yourself stop.......we sometimes make mistakes with trusting the wrong people and the seem to capitalize on it......where did you meet him? You have to report so that if he comes back to your house it is already on file, if you have to defend yourself...I know it may be embarrassing but you have to do it........I hope this helps
     
  3. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    What you described is what people often feel when they are raped. You had a horrible crime happen to you. I sent you a PM with a little more information.
     
  4. D_Maureen Biologist

    D_Maureen Biologist Account Disabled

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    I don't have much advice..but wanted to send you a big HUG...no one, male or female ever deserves to be raped - it is a crime of VIOLENCE, not of passion, plain and simple.

    Hugs hugs and more hugs
     
  5. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Yes, file a police report and search all over your bed and room for any trace of his hair. Half a million isn't that big a city and if he had a local accent, it's possible you will run into him again somewhere. I don't know what the laws are about these things over there or what constitutes evidence. That's why filing a report is important.

    You should also see your doctor, get tested for sexually transmitted diseases, and get some rape counseling from a rape counselor who can help coordinate your care. Often the police will put you in contact with such counselors.

    Best of luck with this and even if you don't go to the police, do contact rape counselors as they can help you with this.
     
  6. Amber1

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    OMG!!!! You poor thing!!!

    YOU MUST REPORT HIM TO THE POLICE!!!!!!!

    Because even if you think you might not get a conviction etc,etc....you have been ATTACKED!!! And yes he does know where you live and could maybe come back!!

    Also the Police need to try and find this man as he may have done this many times before....or WORSE!!!

    Yes it sounds as though you have destroyed the physical evidence with all your showers....but there is still your statement to be taken into account!!

    Like I say the Police really need to find this BASTARD for your safety aswell as others....

    ALSO...the Police will be able to get you counselling, I mean you must be feeling just AWFUL...they have Rape Crisis People...someone to talk to, in the meantime there are charities you can talk to for people who have been raped.

    Have you a friend or relative you can talk to?????

    You need to SHARE the burden this is NOT YOUR FAULT!!.

    And you need to report this dangerous man also..

    Good luck.

    I wish you well.

    X
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    I'm sorry that this has happened to you and equally sorry that you are suffering as a result. Please remember that you are not responsible for the situation. I would suggest that you find a support group or someone to talk to about your feelings. If you need suggestions as to where to find them most communities have a "help line" that can make the best suggestion.
    My other suggestion is to go back to where you met him and talk to the owner or the manager to see if anyone else has experienced any problems there. I would suspect that they may have and it may result in helping to end this persons violating others.
    In addition see your doctor.
    While you are not responsible for the situation, you are responsible for your recovery from the situation. My thoughts are with you. I wish you the best. If you need any further advice or support please send me a PM.
     
    #7 nudeyorker, Feb 16, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2009
  8. arthur

    arthur New Member

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    Agree with jason above 100%. You gotta report it. Don't have any shame what so ever.

    Get yourself to the police and a STD clinic. As soon as.

    You did nothing wrong!! The man was completely at fault!! As the rest of the posters said above, you are probably not the first and won't be the last.

    My thoughts are with you, please talk to people about it!!!
     
    #8 arthur, Feb 16, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2009
  9. r123874293

    r123874293 New Member

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    Yes, indeed! Make sure you get the help you need, as indicated by others here. I am sure we all wish you well!
     
  10. Barry7680

    Barry7680 Member

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    Get in contact with your local rape crisis center. If the center doesn't have a male counsellor on staff, it should be able put you in touch with a male counsellor.

    I wish that I could take away your pain and your fear. All I can do is offer a prayer.

    Please take care. As the others have said 1) rape is a crime of violence and power, not sex. 2) No means no ... it wasn't your fault
     
  11. brinzaulsschwul

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    hi

    i am going to reiterate everything above.

    1) go to the police
    2) you are not to blame
    3) the police will examine cctv of where you were
    4) you are not to blame
    5) there might still be some dna evidence at you home
    6) you are not to blame
    7) you must go to your sexual health clinic for a check up
    8) you are not to blame
    9) if this violent abuse of your body happened less then 72 hours ago, you must
    consider Post Exposure Prophylaxis HIV
    10) you are not to blame
    11) by telling the police you might stop this person raping someone else
    12) you are not to blame
    13) by telling the police, you will be taking the first step to recovery
    14) you are not to blame


    Good luck
    Brinz
     
  12. brinzaulsschwul

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    hi

    i am going to reiterate everything above.

    1) go to the police
    2) you are not to blame
    3) the police will examine cctv of where you were
    4) you are not to blame
    5) there might still be some dna evidence at you home
    6) you are not to blame
    7) you must go to your sexual health clinic for a check up
    8) you are not to blame
    9) if this violent abuse of your body happened less then 72 hours ago, you must
    consider Post Exposure Prophylaxis HIV
    10) you are not to blame
    11) by telling the police you might stop this person raping someone else
    12) you are not to blame
    13) by telling the police, you will be taking the first step to recovery
    14) you are not to blame


    Good luck
    Brinz
     
  13. canuck_pa

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    Dear Dragon,

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Please go to your doctor. He/she should be able to put you in contact with a support group.

    Please also report it to the police. You probably know more about the creep than you realize. Where did you meet him? Do you have his phone number or email address? Did he give you any background info? Area of the city he lives in?
     
  14. Smartalk

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    Hello Dragon88,

    No one can truly understand what you are going through right now. Your mind will be running riot trying to rationalise and understand WHAT YOU DID for this tragic ordeal to happen. Please try, although it may be very hard for you to do right now, to understand and believe that you did nothing, to cause this to happen. You are the victim in all of this, your trust, your body was attacked and abused by one evil sordid person, a man who took advantage of your kind trusting nature. In situations such as this NO definitely means what the word implies, nothing could be clearer or could be misunderstood as something else. Your whole being is in a state of shock, you feel unclean, worthless, degraded. These words can be used to describe your attacker, and certainly not you.

    You do need to seek help, just verbalising what happened, to someone will allow you start to release, what is going round and round in your head. I know it is very hard to know who you can trust right now, but you need to go to the police, remember your not the only gay man this has sadly happened to. The police will have a gay liaison officer who you can ask to visit you in your own home. You will be able to discuss what has happened, plus they will know of the various counsellors and support group available to you. Dragon you have already taken that first huge step to your recovery by writing and posting your plight for all to see hoping your cry for help will be heard. From the response, so far, you can see that that willingness is there. Everyone empathises with you and giving you every possible support they can. Take that next step, believe me it will be much easier than the first. All the help and support that you need and so desperately want, is there for you, but you have to reach out and take it The whole of the LPSG family are here to support and encourage you in everyway we can.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you Dragon, as I am sure, along with everyone else&#8217;s Do keep in touch, we are all there for you my friend. If you would like to chat maybe on Yahoo or MSN please feel free to send me a private message.

    Take care, much love and hugs

    Smartalk

    xx
     
    #14 Smartalk, Feb 16, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2009
  15. SilverSoldier

    SilverSoldier New Member

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    Positively the best advice. Thanks Nudeyorker.
    Please, PLEASE go to a Dr. This is extremely important. Tell the Dr. why you are there. They will probably help you with several things: with details for a police report, and probably a support group or counseling. You're going to need to talk about this regardless of how painful and embarrassed you may feel. And the sooner, the better.

    That being said, we ALL are sending you love and hugs. As said over and over, no one should have to go through this, and the way you will empower yourself and become whole again is to report this bastard, get to a Dr and make sure you are okay. You will also learn that rape survivors are heros. They are able to mentor others who have gone through this.

    I'm not a rape survivor, but I survived decades of horrible abuse, and the patterns and healing are similar.

    Your depression now will change to healing, but don't cower in a corner and wish it would go away. It won't until you empower yourself, protect yourself, and overcome this.

    You are much stronger than you feel right now.

    Hugs, buddy. Take care, and if you don't mind, please report back. We care.
     
  16. Dragon88

    Dragon88 New Member

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    I just want to say that I'm grateful and really appreciate all of the advice and support I've been given by all of you. It's good to know that I can seek help somewhere to manage to move on and get this worked out. I will try my best to do what's right. Thanks to all of you! :redface:
     
  17. B_bttmaaron

    B_bttmaaron New Member

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    Please call the police ASAP. This guy likely left some DNA behind that they can use to catch him. Next, be sure to begin getting tested regularly for STDs (if you weren't already), finding out whether you have something will go along ways toward giving you some mental comfort, and early discovery of any potential problems will make treatment a lot easier.
     
  18. NCbear

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    <hugs Dragon88 and tells him to listen to the others on this thread>

    My best to you. I hope you can get the help you need as soon as possible.

    NCbear (who knows Dragon88 did nothing wrong)
     
  19. goodwood

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    Oh God Dragon -
    Jesus Christ! I am so sorry to hear this happened to you!
    i don't have any other words of advice to add to what the others
    have said, but i want to encourage you in seeking support and doctor's
    care, even a counselor. I think that is very important. Please be well
    and whenever you begin to relive it or think about it or become upset by it,
    please remember that when you reach out for support, you will surely find it.
    Please don't go through this alone.
     
  20. starstruck

    starstruck New Member

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    I will echo what the others said, I AM SOOOOOO SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU.

    My God, I have been lucky a simliar thing has not happened to me.

    Take a deep breath and feel our love and support !!
     
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