I don't know what to do

[sixlittleboi]

Ok so here's the thing. I have known this guy for a while. He had a boyfriend for about 3 years. I always thought it was a horrible relationship but I'm a little biased. Anyway I realized I was totally in love about a year and a half ago. I made the drunken mistake of telling him that about a year ago. Anyway we pretended it never happened and I did everything over the past year to move past that and put those feelings behind me. Thing is he just broke up with his ungrateful bastard of a boyfriend. Everything I thought I was past came rushing back. He has told a mutual friend he wants to be single for a while. I am torn about what I should do. I'm back where I started dropping everything when he asks if I want to hang out. He is the only person I have ever been like this with. It's been less than a week and even if he felt the same way I want him to take break and make sure if anything happens it's not a rebound. I have never been this out of control of my emotions before and I'm going crazy. Any suggestions? Or maybe what would you do(s)?

 

[flame boy]

Personally, you're right that doing anything just yet would be a mistake. He's been with the other guy for 3 years and he isn't going to want to jump straight into another relationship. You can offer to be a good friend and be there for him, but don't take advantage - rebound sex isn't the way to kick start a new relationship. Give him time and if he is also in to you things will fall in to place. For the time being, no matter how difficult it may be, keep your feelings to yourself and play it cool.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Personally, you're right that doing anything just yet would be a mistake. He's been with the other guy for 3 years and he isn't going to want to jump straight into another relationship. You can offer to be a good friend and be there for him, but don't take advantage - rebound sex isn't the way to kick start a new relationship. Give him time and if he is also in to you things will fall in to place. For the time being, no matter how difficult it may be, keep your feelings to yourself and play it cool.

I agree.

The part i cannnot understand is you 'fell in love' with him.Lust maybe but love.

If you wasnt in a relationship with him then how?

I'm not taking the mickey btw,just wondering that's all.

 

[sixlittleboi]

I don't think it's lust because I didn't feel this way about him when we first met. Honestly he is way more attractive to me now than when we first met. It kind of developed over time until I found myself thinking about him quite a bit. I want to be with him. I've lusted after a few guys. This is different. If I thought it was just lust I would sleep with him and get it over with. And just a question are you saying the ONLY way you can love someone is to be in a relationship? (family and friends the exclusion) I don't believe that at all.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

I don't think it's lust because I didn't feel this way about him when we first met. Honestly he is way more attractive to me now than when we first met. It kind of developed over time until I found myself thinking about him quite a bit. I want to be with him. I've lusted after a few guys. This is different. If I thought it was just lust I would sleep with him and get it over with. And just a question are you saying the ONLY way you can love someone is to be in a relationship? (family and friends the exclusion) I don't believe that at all.

I didnt say that but surely there would have to be some interaction between the both of you for love to develop.You sound infatuated to be honest.

Again,i'm not taking the mickey,just saying seeing as you asked.

 

[ewa123]

Yeah, slow WAY down. Let him get his bearings. After a certain point, when your racing heart slows down and you can think rationally and logically drop subtle hints. You absolutely don't don't want to be the rebound guy, but you also need to protect your heart, if you're truly that in love.

Personally, I'd give him between 6-months to a year to get his bearings, but make yourself available to him during that time, but keep your guard somewhat up. If you can't keep your guard up and will just tell him how you feel because you're compelled to, then you need to maintain a healthy distance.

Again, I'd do this if you WANT to get involved with him, but you need to see how he's doing after his break up. You really don't want to be the rebound guy.