I don't think i can deal with it.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Hanky Philler, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. D_Hanky Philler

    D_Hanky Philler Account Disabled

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    I'm new here and I don't really hang out my dirty laundry in public but i think I need some uncensored advise and opinions.

    To make a long story short, my bf quite smoking about three months ago. he used the pill called Chantix. since then he's become more aggressive and not in the way someone would like.

    Just about anything sets him off into a rage that can last up to 2 hours. Most of them is towards me.
    Now I know that me and hims are polar opposites and even though we've had our small disagreements, they are getting worse.

    i hate to see him so stressed out and I'm starting to worry about my safety and his own. I told him to see a doctor but he refuses to.
    i don't know what to do anymore and I cant deal with the emotional, and verbal abuse he keeps on giving me.

    i don't know if its better for me to leave him and give him space.
    but i also don't know that doing so may cause him more stress and pain.

    btw he stopped the pill treatment two weeks ago.


    great i make sure I write this with good grammar and i still get the title wrong... smh.
     
    #1 D_Hanky Philler, Jul 25, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2011
  2. dolfette

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    if he refuses to see a doc, if he's abusing you verbally and emotionally? leave. tell him you'll come back when he faces up to his issues and seeks help. you're not helping him by being his metaphorical punchbag.
     
  3. Catharsis

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    My dad has been on and off cigarettes his entire life. I'm not sure how long your boyfriend has been smoking before he quit but my dad would also be highly irritable each time he quit (just cold turkey, didn't use supplements) and I just think it's him going through withdrawal from something he's been doing and relying on for a while. Just my input, tring to explain why he might act this way but I don't really know advice to give.
     
  4. monel

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    Leave now. Your bf may be stressed and in pain but there is no reason that you need to share in it. Your first allegiance is to yourself and your well being. If the time should come that he realizes what a prick he has become and apologizes for it then you can consider if he is worthy for you to try again. In the meantime get out now.

    Just my opinion.
     
  5. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    what dolfette said, this guy obviously has issues with smoking & he used to use it as a way to relieve stress, with out smoking, he takes it out on you, which is def not good .. that is a personal problem with your bf & he needs to figure his issues out before he really hurts someone .. i think you should leave him for now and let him figure his issues out, it may seem rough because it seems like you really care about the dude, but the worst thing you can do is support his bad behavior, by letting him treat you like this, there is no consequence for his actions and he is only going to continue treating you this way until you, or someone else stops it (the police), and im sure you don't want him in jail ... also if he really loves & cares about you, he will notice that his actions are affecting him, and those around him so it might shake him up to look for help .. if you decide to stay with him, set some ground rules (he has to go to a dr, no more abuse etc.) and don't bend if he resists you have to show him that you are serious, because at the end of the day nobody deserves to be abused, and people can only help themselves, and sometimes they need a shock to their system (a loved one getting out of their life for example) to show how shitty they are acting

    hope it all works out :)
     
  6. Endued

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    He doesn't have to use Chantix, there are plenty other treatments. Chantix is supposed to be very good, but if it's causing problems in his relationship he should come off it.
     
  7. dolfette

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    he came off it two weeks ago.
     
  8. nudeyorker

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    There have been a lot of problems reported with Chantix; I think quitting it abruptly may have caused more problems. I would suggest you urge your boyfriend to visit his doctor.
    If you feel you are in danger I would encourage you to stay with someone else right now.

    Chantix Side Effects | Drugs.com
     
  9. D_Hanky Philler

    D_Hanky Philler Account Disabled

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    Thanks everyone! Really.
    I just needed to see if leaving him would be the best thing to do and I can see now that it is.
     
  10. dolfette

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    good luck.
    hopefully he sees sense, gets help and sorts this out.
     
  11. helgaleena

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    Before you go, make sure to tell him that the Chantix might have made things worse! That's being fair. If it's easier, just write it in a note.
     
  12. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    Gee, now I know why my dad has been highly irritable ever since I have known him....he quit his pack a day Lucky Strike habit cold turkey shortly before I was born.:biggrin1:
     
    #12 B_jeepguy2, Jul 25, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2011
  13. dfw055

    dfw055 New Member

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    Have you read the side effects from Chantix...from their web site:
    Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX to help them quit smoking. Some people had these symptoms when they began taking CHANTIX, and others developed them after several weeks of treatment or after stopping CHANTIX. If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away. Also tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems before taking CHANTIX, as these symptoms may worsen while taking CHANTIX.
     
  14. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    Bloody hell - side effects of stopping smoking " ... exacerbation of underlying psychiatric conditions"!

    I hope that you didn't ask him to stop! It would seem a bit shitty to dump someone based on their withdrawal systems.

    I suggest that this be remedied with a pack of Marlboro light.

    I felt fine when I quit cold turkey, only to have my other half tell me I was unbearable, culminating in packs being left around the house. It would have been better if she'd gone with the baccy.

    I think the moral of that story is never quit anything because anyone else asks/begs you to.
     
  15. AlteredEgo

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    crackoff, if those side effects include making the home unsafe, it is perfectly reasonable to leave if the abusive party is unwilling to seek help. It's not shitty at all.
     
  16. Rikter8

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    Print out the side effects, highlight the regions and leave. I'd leave now before it turns physical.
     
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