I don't understand....

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Fluoridia Bidet, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    How do you know that you are girlfriend material or wife acceptable? I am afraid I do not know. Think I am still young and naive I really don't have experience. I guess that's why I come here for answers about sex and relationships cuz nobody else is going to give me answers. But my point is how do you know when you are ready or if you are doing the right things? How do you know if you are acceptable to be a girlfriend or a wife?
     
  2. JustAsking

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    Crissy,
    I am not sure what you imagine you would be lacking? When you ask if you are "ready" or "doing the right things", do you mean sexually? Or in general?

    Either way, a relationship amongst young inexperienced people is a wonderful time of self-discovery and mutual discovery. One of the sweetest relationships I had was with my first girlfriend, because of that.

    Are you feeling like being a good girlfriend or a wife is all about your performance in the relationship?
     
  3. Principessa

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    Isn't it to some degree?:confused: It's not all chemistry, holding hands, and furtive glances.
     
  4. whatireallywant

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    It really depends on the people involved. Everyone is different and wants different things.

    I have never been married but I have been "girlfriend material", I guess you could say. I have not had many boyfriends though, even at my age. I've had more "friends with benefits" than "boyfriends"... But the boyfriends tended to stay with me longer than the FWBs. (although one FWB lasted over a year...)
     
  5. BigDuder

    BigDuder New Member

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    just live in the moment, that is all
     
  6. Principessa

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    Excellent Question!! I guess it's hard for young people today especially young girls like yourself to figure that out.

    You become boyfriend & girlfriend because you like each other. They may initially be attracted by the physical appearance of one another but it's the things in common and ability to talk about anything and everything that usually makes a couple.

    Way back in the dark ages there was a class which all girls in grades 6-12 were required to take. It was called Home Economics.


    Today it has morphed into something called:
    Family and consumer sciences, human sciences, human ecology or home economics, is an academic discipline which combines aspects of consumer science, nutrition, cooking, parenting and human development, interior design, textiles, family economics, housing, apparel design and resource management as well as other related subjects.


    Family and consumer sciences combines social science, including its emphasis on the well-being of families, individuals, and communities, and natural science with its emphasis on nutrition and textile science.
    IMHO, none of these things are as comprehensive or effective in preparing a young person for running a household as good old fashioned home economics. Years ago men often took into consideration how well a young lady could cook, clean, and sew along with how hot she was before proposing marriage. Obviously this doesn't happen today. It's kind of a shame though. I think some marriages especially the ones that break up over money, may have been saved if either person had a clue about all that goes into the running of a household.
     
  7. JustAsking

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    Crissy,
    Tell us more about your doubts about being ready to be a girlfriend. It would help us give better answers.
     
  8. whatireallywant

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    YIKES!!! I'm doomed then! I'm a slob who can't cook and is even worse at sewing than I am at cooking! I preferred industrial arts over home ec (being the tomboy I was - and still am...), although I didn't get much of that... And I'm not "hot", either (although I try)...

    I'm ok with the money management part though, except for the fact that I'm broke right now!
     
  9. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    well it's not just the love part of the relationship it's more like
    am I cooking right? Am I doing laundry right? Is the house up to par? Does he like the way that I am neat? Is my job acceptable to him? Is my family acceptable or his family? Just stuff... I mean I did take eco in school but I mean it's school there is no role playing the husband and wife in that matter. And well today things are different. I am scared I will get cheated on cuz I can't cook something correctly or if I do laundry incorrectly or if my job isn't something he likes me doing....

    It's alot on my mind, I am kinda scared.
     
  10. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    Lol how do you think I feel now! I forgot all about that stuff. I feel the same way!
     
  11. Osiris

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    Big Duder hit this on the money.

    It just happens. It's not thought out or planned. It just hits you and you know it's right. And you can't make that choice it is up to you and that person who chooses you too. Like the man said, live in the moment.
     
  12. whatireallywant

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    Well, if the guy wants me to just do traditionally female things he's not the right guy for me (especially since I'd be very unhappy doing those things). Being in favor of women's equality is a MUST for me - I will NOT compromise on that! I realize that there are things that need to be done in the house. Hopefully in a good relationship, we could agree to do those together (and I'd prefer a guy who likes to cook, since I don't cook at all. My idea of "cooking" is popping something in the microwave!)

    I only took home ec for two years. I would've taken industrial arts instead if I'd been allowed to, but that was just for boys (just like everything else I was interested in!). They changed the rules the year I entered high school and didn't take either home ec or industrial arts at that time, focusing on college prep classes instead. I like the way they have the home ec/industrial arts set up now. Boys and girls both take an equal amount of both subjects in junior high, and in high school they can take it if they want it but it is not required.

    I think it's good for people to have the necessary life skills that they teach in home ec and industrial arts though. Sadly, I am sorely lacking in both sets of skills.
     
  13. Principessa

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    OMG! You are so totally over thinking this honey! If you've got a boyfriend and things are going good just roll with it. :smile:
     
  14. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    Sorry for over thinking I guess marriage and relationships in my mind is one of those perfectionist types of things. I know like all relationships are not perfect and from seeing some stuff I hope I don't make stupid mistakes. What if I could just try to make things perfect or just they way they are.... ugh... it's hard to explain
     
  15. lafever

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    That`s the best card you can play, let the guys think that and you can control them.

    lafever
     
  16. Principessa

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    Please, I am begging you; try not to take everything so seriously!
    That's how people get ulcers.
     
  17. Guy-jin

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    I just tell my girlfriend what I like/don't like. I don't assume she's psychic, nor do I assume she's going to be perfect at everything.

    That said, you don't want to be catering yourself towards whatever someone else wants. You should be yourself and then you'll eventually get into a relationship with someone you're compatible with.
     
  18. Mr. Snakey

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    Listen to your heart. Do what it tells you to do. We all have questions some of which will never be fully answered. Take comfort in not knowing the answeres and that someday you will.
     
  19. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    You are not going to be perfect.
    You think you are, but you aren't.
    My breakups have made me a better person. I would not be who I am today, if I had stayed with my first g/f, or second, or third.

    I dont want ot be condescending, but life is crazy. When you are young, you think you are perfect, and will live life perfectly. You have no idea how much your family and friends has influenced you, and given you bad habits, and outlooks on life.

    Just be sure to use birth control. Your heart will be broken, and it will be painful. It is inevitable in this day and age. But you will be more heartbroken if you dont take a risk every now and then, especially when it comes to love and sex.
     
  20. SpoiledPrincess

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    A man's never going to leave someone because her souffle hasn't risen, what makes a woman marriageable isn't the ability to make a three course meal in ten minutes, whip up a suit out of an old pair of curtains or get grass stains out of his best white shirt, it's the ability to listen, to know when to take a stand, to be supportive yet allow him to support her too, it's about being a partnership not having a housekeeper. When you're with a guy who wants to marry you you'll know you're marriageable because he wants to marry you, it's not about his family or his friends, it's about him and his decision. Don't spend your time worrying about trying to be something you're not or fit into some idealisation you've got stuck in your head from watching tv or other couples, you can only be happy with someone who you can be yourself with.
     
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