I Dont Wanna Be Gay

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sh0n, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. sh0n

    sh0n Member

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    Hey guys.. so I'm attracted to masculine/straight acting guys. But growing up in South Georgia there are none in my vicinity. There are alot of guys in my class that I fantasize about, but my physical contact with them is just a minor hand shake. As of late, I've been feeling really depressed because I want to have a relationship and text cute little messages but I cant do any of that. But I'm getting side tracked, I just wanna know can I just stop being GAY/BI because its only pain and no pleasure (for me).
     
  2. ericbythebay

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    You can't stop being attracted to what you are attracted to and trying to change can be harmful. Your best bet is to either find the guys locally, we are everywhere; or move to a metro area, there is a reason why we all leave rural areas.
     
  3. Cybearia

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    To paraphrase the current popular campaign - It really does get better.

    Hang in there, get school out of the way, get some decent qualifications under your belt then get out of whatever gay-hell backwater you are in. In the mean time make some gay mates around your own age online, you can chat with them and it helps you not feel so isolated. I wish the net had been this developed and accessible when I was growing up out in the sticks.

    Good luck.
     
  4. cocktaste

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    Sorry, dear. Your homosexuality is set for life.

    Think about moving in a few years. You'll meet someone.
     
  5. lvsxy808

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    You already know you can't, so this is not a serious question and is just a cry for attention.

    Which is fine, as far as it goes.

    What you are is a teenager. Every teenager goes through the exact same thing you're going through - every. single. one. - but being teenagers they naturally think they've got it worse than everyone else and no-one will ever understand them, whereas in fact we've all been there.

    You will have the relationships you seek, you just have to be patient. Do you really think the heteros have got it any easier? They just have more people to get rejected by, that's all.

    Stop wasting your time and energy wishing for something that is blatantly impossible and start enjoying what you have and getting yourself ready for the more that is to come.

    There'll be a day when you look back at this time and think, "God, why did I ever worry so much?" Someone on one of these boards has a sig which I have always found to be very apt - "Heterosexuality isn't normal - it's just common."

    .
     
  6. cklover

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    It's true...why so many of us migrate to urban areas. If you do, you'll inevitably connect with the gay community, make a couple of (platonic) good friends, and that soul-killing feeling of isolation WILL lift. Of course, because you're young and sexy, you'll be besieged by horny men too!:tongue::tongue: City life isn't ideal, but it'll be enough for you to open up and finally feel alive.
     
  7. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    I assume you're 18 and a senior in high school? (please correct me if I'm wrong) If so, you don't have long to go before you are out of that place and can be free. Just keep your head down and your grades up. (sorry, mom instinct kicking in here) Once you hit college you will be in much friendlier environs. From what I understand Atlanta has a very large gay community, perhaps it's time you start marking time there??? Just suggestions... :smile:
     
  8. B_patrickmcc

    B_patrickmcc New Member

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    Everyone is right so far. you are what you are, and you cant change that. The advice to eventually go where the action is, is right too.
    And judging by your pictures, youre not going to be depressed very long once you hit the big city.
     
  9. Equus14

    Equus14 New Member

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    Saying you don't want to be gay is like saying you don't want to like chocolate. If you do then you do there's nothing that can be done about it. Learn to live with it and make changes that will benefit who you are and your natural orientation. Please don't try to convince yourself you don't like chocolate just because it's hard to get right now. Give it time and do what you can that actually benefits you.

    Good luck, you can do this.
     
  10. Mr_Bulldog

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    You are what you are. Trying to force yourself to change can cause extreme mental harm
     
  11. cocktaste

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    That's a very poor analogy. Tastes change over time. Sexuality, however, doesn't.
     
  12. Rikter8

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    You can't change who you are attracted to. Trying to change will only screw up your mind more (And may turn you into a conservative republican with secret closet boyfriends)

    I can totally relate....I grew up in a rural community Without the Internet.
    Today is a whole new set of cards you need to learn to play safely.

    It does get better - Like the team said - get your schooling out of the way - that is NUMBER ONE.
    Chances are, you will meet someone along the way.
    Hang in there - and know that we are here to support you in your journey.

    Just a last minute addition - you have a hot body and a massive penis - If you did look around a bit, I'd bet you'd have a ton of men lookin for ya.
    What part of GA are you from? ... I'll do a few searches on the popular sites and see what I find.
     
    #12 Rikter8, Dec 16, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2010
  13. Mensch1351

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    Take all that's been said truly to heart ShOn -- it's extremely solid advice!! There's a VERY big world out there beyond your home town!!
     
    #13 Mensch1351, Dec 16, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2010
  14. saertyu

    saertyu Member

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    I know everyone's given you basically the same answer, but its true, and don't try to change who you are.

    I'm the exact same way, only looking for another straight-acting, muscular guy, and yes I get those lonely moments. I once tried settling for a more feminine gay guy because my search was getting me nowhere. That relationship didn't last long and I refuse to have one like it again. I'll continue looking, but only for the masculine, muscular guy I wanted to find in the first place, regardless of how rare they are to come by, because deep down I know that one day I will find him.
     
  15. pablovian

    pablovian Member

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    sh0n
    Sh0n - I'm 37 - have lived in the city my whole life and didn't want to be gay. I've been pretty lonely these past 20 years cause relationships with women just didn't work (mentally or physically). I have finally decided "FUCK IT", I'm gonna quit fighting myself. If you're gay, guess what, you're gay. Do what you can to get with a good group of people and stress less. Fighting your GAYness is a big waste of time. Trust me, I know.
     
  16. helgaleena

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    I don't want to have a huge behind, but it doesn't come off, even when I was thin the pelvis is just that wide and so be it. Your gayness is not going to go away any more than my ass does.

    Not detachable. Try to wear it well.
     
  17. SprkE08

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    Love yourself the way you are and others will learn to do the same. Those who don't, are probably dealing with the same issue that you will soon be able to say that you USED to.



    I don't want to get cliché, but it does get better.

    I spent my greener years in Mississippi, Louisiana and Central Florida. Not exactly the most hospitable environments for being a dude into dudes. I know exactly how you feel. But you WILL find people who make you feel good about who you are as you grow older - quote me on this. Things won't stay the same for you but it starts with self-acceptance.
     
  18. paintact

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    Very well said.
     
  19. jstoy`

    jstoy` New Member

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    shon dont fret, im 58 yo and bi, dont get hung up man. love yourself is the begining. i bet you would be surprisede how many of your buds have the same feelings but repress them
     
  20. pedercic99

    pedercic99 Active Member

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    in my experience you can't change your sexual orientation but you can change how you feel about it.
     
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