I dont want to have kids

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Axcess, Dec 20, 2007.

  1. Axcess

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    Sometimes members of my family question me because of my decision of not having kids. Like I said in other thread my parents were a disaster and I dont want history to repeat itself. What is the problem of not having kids ? What do you guys think ?
     
  2. pronatalist

    pronatalist Active Member

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    More children would like to be conceived and born into the world, regardless.

    Why do you think you can't have children? You don't have to repeat the mistakes of your parents. You can learn from them, right?

    Didn't you result from your parents, and that's a "good" thing, right?

    The main real purpose of sex, is procreation. Why not let babies happen when they happen, and avoid the magic potions/poison to the body directly, of nasty, experimental, anti-life, anti-nature, contraceptives.

    Tell us, for what reasons might you actually like to have children? Can we maybe find some encouragement to get over these fears that can in time pass, especially after children come? If you truly didn't want any children at all, why ask us for advice?
     
  3. D_Theophallus Kneedgroin

    D_Theophallus Kneedgroin Account Disabled

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    I don't think u should worry about history repeating itself. I bet u could learn from it and be a great parent. I know of a few people who had bad parents and turned out to be great parents themselves. Having said that, I think there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. Sometimes I feel like I would love to have kids, other days not so much. I have a neice and nephew who I spend a lot of time with and love them very much. I also love giving them back to their parents lol.
    I think I probably would like to have kids if I was in a relationship. Being a single parent is hard.
     
  4. SpoiledPrincess

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    If you don't want kids don't have kids and don't let anyone else pressure you into it, your parents might want to be grandparents but why should you be responsible for bringing a child into the world just to please someone else. Some people will insist that people who don't want kids are selfish, I never quite get that because it's quite the reverse, it's selfish to want kids, no one has kids thinking 'I can bring a child into the world and give it this and that', they think 'I WANT A BABY', it's their needs they're thinking of.
     
  5. Axcess

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    Is a fact that most people repeat the same mistakes that parents do to them without being aware of it. I dont want children period. I just want to comment with the members of this site that in many families not having kids is seen as an strange or bad thing.
     
  6. D_Theophallus Kneedgroin

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    My brother has two kids, a boy and girl, so I'm off the hook.
     
  7. Axcess

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    I like kids but I prefer not to have kids. Once kids are born and we make mistakes to them , this mistakes usually will mark them some way or another to the rest of their lives.
     
  8. DC_DEEP

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    I think you should have children if you want to, or not have children if you don't want to. When they question you, you really need give no other reason than "I don't want to have children."

    Do you know this for certain? How many not-yet-conceived children have told you this? Please, post a link to your source. Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine that a not-yet-conceived child wants to be conceived.
    If they wanted a child, yes, it's a good thing.
    That's your opinion, and you are welcome to it; but I believe that despite the fact that the sexual organs are necessary for reproduction, they do actually have other purposes and functions. Whether those other purposes and fuctions are primary (or not) isn't the point.
    Why are you so obsessed with other peoples' reproduction? If you want to have babies by the litter, that's your choice. Why do you insist that everyone else do the same?
     
  9. D_Theophallus Kneedgroin

    D_Theophallus Kneedgroin Account Disabled

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    Even the best parents make mistakes, that just how life is. While I respect someones decision not to have children, I think I would respectfully disagree with not having them just for the fear of making mistakes raising them. (btw, are u trying to distract me lol)
     
  10. slate_australis

    slate_australis New Member

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    I totally understand and respect that position.

    The thing is, nobody gets a perfect childhood - everyone has scars. Some have a bad chain of events, but then, some people become parents who really shouldn't... I think that's the key.

    I have moments when I don't want kids, but they don't last long. I had a very doting father, who I only had for eight years. I also have an unbelievably loving mother, who has had some problems in the years since my father died, but doing much better now.

    The long and short of it is, it's your choice. But I would only say, don't presume that you'd do what your parents did.
     
  11. Axcess

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    I prefer not to tell details because this is my private life but my parents mistakes were huge they make my life more difficult than other people .
    Luckely I recovered from my disaster . They are mistakes and THEY ARE MISTAKES.
     
  12. pronatalist

    pronatalist Active Member

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    Re: Encourage the human race to grow more naturally, for the greater good of the many.

    Children are glad to come alive, after the fact, therefore, it must also be "good" to conceive them before the fact, else you have a logical inconsistancy. People really should try to consider God's perspective of the purpose of human life, and not just their own linear time selfishness. What of "destiny," "Manifest Destiny," or whatever? There's a very logical reason why world population tends to go on rising and rising. Because more and more people would be glad to live, a very practical and moral basis by which to opposed any suggestion of artificially-imposed, arbitrary population "control" on humans.

    Because sex should be a loving, life-giving act, not something profaned to only cater to people's carnal lusts.

    Pro-life is more consistantly pro-life when it is also pro-population.

    Each and every human life is sacred, and the natural flow of human life from generation to generation should be unhindered. Encourage people to push out their babies naturally, and as the numbers of women of childbearing age throughout much of the world naturally rises, then more babies can be added faster, now that there's finally enough parents around to raise so many.

    Yes, I would welcome the prospect of enjoying raising a "large" family, but the number of people that could potentially be glad to come to life, requires most everybody to welcome the prospect that their families might grow large. There's no way that I could biologically have that many children, just ourselves. I advocate natural expansion of the human race, for the greater good of the many. And of course, I want people to "open" their minds and consider some better alternatives, than the society-induced irrational fear of possible pregnancy. Most all parents love all their children, at least after the fact of their births. So how could there really ever be "too many" children to come along?

    "How can there be too many children? That's like saying there's too many flowers." Mother Teresa
     
  13. SpoiledPrincess

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    You can stick flowers in a vase and forget about them, you can't just forget about kids and there are already too many kids who are unloved, starving or being raised by inadequate parents.
    If we have to think about God when we think of kids maybe God gave us condoms and the pill because he was sick of watching his creation do what he intended only rabbits to do.
     
  14. B_Italian1

    B_Italian1 New Member

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    You don't have your age listed, but if you're young, say 20's, your attitude about having children may change as you get older. Most of us aren't the same person we were 10 years ago. How many times do people change their career plans or go live somewhere they thought they would never live?

    You may meet a woman someday who really wants to have children with you, and you could have a change of heart. In the meantime I wouldn't think too much of what the future may bring. Enjoy today. And another thing is that there are no perfect parents. If you ever become a parent the chances are that you will make at least a few mistakes.
     
  15. rob_just_rob

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    @DC: Pronatalist is an idiot, a zealot, or both. He's never provided a single reference for any of his assertions, despite my repeated requests. He's amusing at times, but also the most ineffective troll I've ever seen, and one of the most obvious.

    @HungDavid: I am personally undecided as to whether I want kids. My parents are supportive of me in general and would never overtly pressure me to have children, but I get the impression at times that they'd like that to happen. Ironically, I feel that way too at times - I feel like I should want to have children, and yet, I don't want to have children. Not yet, anyway. Maybe at some point something inside me will click and I'll be gung ho for the idea. And maybe that will never happen.

    There is no "problem" with not having children, other than not meeting the expectations of other people who want you to make the same decisions they made and live your life the way they live(d) theirs. The only problem I can see is if your partner wants kids and you aren't honest about whether you do. I've been careful to avoid misleading women that way.
     
  16. Axcess

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    My age is 27 and having kids is a very huge responsability . I dont think I was born to these huge task. Most people think that having kids is a game , to me isnt .
     
  17. pronatalist

    pronatalist Active Member

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    Re: Many people still do naturally want "traditionally very large" families.

    Are you so sure that rabbits "breed like rabbits?"

    God didn't give people condoms nor "birth control." There's no hint in the Bible, that God ever intended for humans to "limit" their natural family growth, but rather that God opens and closes the womb, and practically speaking, people often find they aren't near as fertile as they thought.

    If you think that children are always too hard to raise, and they they don't sometimes, partially raise or watch themselves or their siblings, then that's an inaccurate prejudice brought on largely by our "modern" society of pidly small families. Places where families still tend to be large, probably would not think much that way.

    And there's probably more people around still, who would naturally prefer to "breed like bunnies," than some might like to admit. Surely most guys would naturally prefer to just naturally cum inside their wives, without needless worry, and why not? Sperm is harmless. All it can do, is maybe make a baby, and probably not "this time" anyway, but more like next time, or the time after that. And bring more children to life, is supposed to be a "good" thing to encourage. And of course, I encourage personal responsibility, that good dads and moms take interest in loving and raising their many or few children, well.
     
  18. Axcess

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    Currently I dont have a girlfriend but I make myself clear to all my past girlfriends that I dont want to have kids. I'm really honest in the relationships about that.
     
  19. SpoiledPrincess

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  20. Viking_UK

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    A friend of mine once said that having children was the most selfish thing anyone could ever do because you're forcing your choice to have a child on some poor unsuspecting sprog who has no say in who its parents are. He's since gone on to produce two.

    You never know who's going to be a good or bad parent until it's to late. I've seen some people who, on paper, should be disastrous parents doing a great job of it and raising healthy, well-behaved, happy kids in a loving, caring home. Some, who should have been wonderful parents have raised little monsters - maybe that's getting into the nature/nurture thing - and others have turned into complete tyrants and won't let their offspring say or do anything 'kid-like' such as have fun.

    Whatever happens, don't decide to have kids or not have kids because of what someone else wants. If you're being responsible about it, it's something for you and your partner to decide (barring accidents), not your parents. Are they going to raise the kid? And going by what you say, you wouldn't want to let them even if they would! Sorry if I sound flippant, but it's either that or I give a sermon. It sometimes isn't your choice whether or not you have children. Accidents happen. Say one night a condom split and a couple of years later, you found out you had a child. Would you walk away? It certainly sounds like you've thought a lot about it, and, more importantly, it sounds as if you've thought about it from the point of view of the child's welfare, not your own. You never know, you might surprise yourself and turn out to be a great dad given half a chance.

    Ideally, I'd like to have kids myself some day, but I can't see that happening somehow. Maybe it's the gay thing. My sister has kids anyway, so I'm off the hook from the genetics point of view and it's great to turn up now and again and spoil them and have fun, but the real plus point is to be able to say, "He needs changing," and walk away. Actually, aside from anything else, I don't feel grown-up enough to be a parent. I'm way too selfish and immature.
     
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