I dont want to have kids

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

I think because im a woman it is supposed to be a natural, maternal instinct that i want kids, family, husband, mortgage. At this point in my life none of that holds any interest for me, especially the kids. Ive had people tell me its not normal and even that i musnt be a "true" woman but, shit, its my choice right?

There isn no rule book that says because i have a cunt i MUST have kids

 

[whatireallywant]

I think because im a woman it is supposed to be a natural, maternal instinct that i want kids, family, husband, mortgage. At this point in my life none of that holds any interest for me, especially the kids. Ive had people tell me its not normal and even that i must be a "true" woman but, shit, its my choice right?

There isn no rule book that says because i have a cunt i MUST have kids

Ooh!!! I hate it when people say stuff like that to me! I've never fit in with what a woman was "supposed" to be, or a girl either when I was a girl. I mean, I was looking at old family photos of me on Christmas at age 2, and I got a doll stroller and was standing beside it looking bored, and a toy train and there's a picture of me actively playing with the train and being happy.

I've been told that I was selfish and all for not wanting kids and for wanting to concentrate on my career. I'm not as career oriented anymore due to troubles in keeping jobs, now I'm more survival oriented. Instead of being ambitious to go up the ladder in my career, I'm just looking for a job that will keep me employed steadily and pay enough to pay the bills. And yeah, I'd prefer it to be in the field I studied for and have "some" experience (but apparently not enough) in. But I'll bet a man wouldn't be told he was selfish for not wanting kids and for being ambitious in his career. This double standard just really pisses me off to no end!

I would like the husband, eventually, and the mortgage too if I can ever get stable enough in employment to not have to worry about foreclosure if I do so.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Lee_M and whatireallywant, isn't it both amusing and annoying? So many people assume that all women are maternal and want to have babies, and that all men want babies to prove their virility. You would be financially secure if you had a nickel for every time someone has, in response to you saying you didn't want children, told you:

"Sure you do, you just don't realize it."
or
"Sure you do, everyone wants to have children."
or
"What's wrong with you?"

 

[Axcess]

Lee_M and whatireallywant, isn't it both amusing and annoying? So many people assume that all women are maternal and want to have babies, and that all men want babies to prove their virility. You would be financially secure if you had a nickel for every time someone has, in response to you saying you didn't want children, told you:

"Sure you do, you just don't realize it."
or
"Sure you do, everyone wants to have children."
or
"What's wrong with you?"

Yes that double standard with woman is stupid .

 

[DC_DEEP]

Yes that double standard with woman is stupid .

Well, I wasn't really thinking of a double standard. I have actually had people harrass me when I indicated I had no desire to procreate.

I had some rude co-workers that way, but my siblings were the worst. I have 5 nephews, no nieces, and all my sibs had "finished" their babymaking. I got so tired of hearing "you're our last chance for a niece" that my response evolved into "well, if you want a niece, you are just going to have to go out and buy one. You will NOT get one from me."

 

[Axcess]

Well, I wasn't really thinking of a double standard. I have actually had people harrass me when I indicated I had no desire to procreate.

I had some rude co-workers that way, but my siblings were the worst. I have 5 nephews, no nieces, and all my sibs had "finished" their babymaking. I got so tired of hearing "you're our last chance for a niece" that my response evolved into "well, if you want a niece, you are just going to have to go out and buy one. You will NOT get one from me."

Good one man I will use that when some member of my family start to question me again about not having kids.

 

[B_ajaxgayguy7]

If you dont have to have kids that is your deceison and no body else's. My brother felt the same way as you (we to had a real beautiful upbringing, thank god for disfunctional alcholic parents) so at 19yrs of age he got fixed.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Lee_M and whatireallywant, isn't it both amusing and annoying? So many people assume that all women are maternal and want to have babies, and that all men want babies to prove their virility. You would be financially secure if you had a nickel for every time someone has, in response to you saying you didn't want children, told you:

"Sure you do, you just don't realize it."
or
"Sure you do, everyone wants to have children."
or
"What's wrong with you?"

I would be rich if I had a dime for every time someone said that to me. I don't want children, I don't want to have them live with all the grief I've been through. The only exception was to my gay friend who at one point wished to have a child with me when we were older. It was like.. "well we'd have a piece of each other forever kinda thing... so we'll see what ends up happening... other than that.. there is no deal.

 

[Pirate Wench]

Do what's right Only For You.....and don't let anyone change your mind.

There's nothing wrong with you or anything else negative just because you choose not to have any.

I don't have any either....
If an accidental pregnancy had occured that would have been alright and we'd have just gone along with it.........
But since I've never lost sleep over not having any....I figure it's probably good I don't have them.

But I would Never tolerate someone else's critical judgement over me not having kids.

 

[Axcess]

Many people see not having kids as a bad thing , when in reality is a good thing . The world is really overpopulated.

 

[Axcess]

Yesterday someone ask me if I plan to have kids but this time was a neighbor. I cant believe this. What the heck happen to some people my life isnt their business.

 

[deleted15807]

The good thing is that new research on happiness is delinking the idea that you cannot be happy without children. In fact it's just the opposite.


Studies show that couples who choose not to have children are happier than those who do.

To breed or not to breed - Salon.com

 

[DaveyR]

Yesterday someone ask me if I plan to have kids but this time was a neighbor. I cant believe this. What the heck happen to some people my life isnt their business.

You should have told them that it is prohibited to keep goats in that area :wink:

 

[Axcess]

Good one .

 

[Willy_the_Wonka]

If I were even inclined in that direction, the nagging question for me would be "what kind of world is this child going to be coming into?" My nagging question for others that insist on breeding (in multiple quantities at that)....and I do have the restraint to keep the question to MYSELF .... "how ready are you to provide for these people for the next 18 years to make sure that they become productive responsible members of society and not some worthless parasite on humanity?"

I HAVE gotten heavily into it with one friend/coworker, when he starts going off about his (at the time) 2-year old son and how he'd better not turn out being gay. "I'd disown him, he'd be no son of mine!" This was a person I had no problem calling a troglodyte to his face. (Another time he came out of the office bathroom with a Penthouse magazine opened to the centerfold, loudly proclaiming: "Man, if this chick walked into the room right now, I'd punch my wife in the face and leave with her instead!"


:banghead2:

 

[BIGBULL29]

This is a very interesting thread, to say the least.

It is sad that other people can't just worry about their own lives and lifestyles instead of trying to impose their personal choices on others. For some reason, it has always seemed that it's everyone's business to tell everyone else to procreate. Society will always harass you for not procreating to some degree, unless you're an ascetic (monk, nun, guru). That said, even monastics have been somewhat criticized for not procreating.

I shall now paraphrase in very informal speech what I have heard ultra conservative Protestants say about monastics: their lifestyle is nothing but a waste of time, especially for not being in the world and not having children. m
You see, my friends, even so-called "saints" have been condemned for not procreating.

If we were to see the way things the way they really are... and if only we could ignore the opinions of others and live the life that we are all meant to live, we could be more liberated. Other's opinions and comments are words -- just words. So, don't be a slave to other's words. Be liberated from them today.

I don't want to get too Zen on you all.:biggrin1:

 

[Axcess]

This is a very interesting thread, to say the least.



I shall now paraphrase in very informal speech what I have heard ultra conservative Protestants say about monastics: their lifestyle is nothing but a waste of time, especially for not being in the world and not having children. m
You see, my friends, even so-called "saints" have been condemned for not procreating.

If we were to see the way things the way they really are... and if only we could ignore the opinions of others and live the life that we are all meant to live, we could be more liberated. Other's opinions and comments are words -- just words. So, don't be a slave to other's words. Be liberated from them today.

I don't want to get too Zen on you all.:biggrin1:

I ignore most of the time comments of other people bothering me about why I dont have kids but sometimes I got upset when the frecuency of this comments is high . I even get comments of why I dont get married too .
Man many people simply dont have lives. :biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[Willy_the_Wonka]

Well, they DO, but just not ones that we want. :biggrin1:!



Yeah, I get that from my brother's wife's family. "Ooh, BILL, why aren't YOU married? We have to find you a WIFE!"



WTF!

 

[Axcess]

Well, they DO, but just not ones that we want. :biggrin1:!



Yeah, I get that from my brother's wife's family. "Ooh, BILL, why aren't YOU married? We have to find you a WIFE!"



WTF!

Most people want that we live their misery:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: . Is obvious that the marriage thing is way over rated.

 

[deleted15807]

Yeah, I get that from my brother's wife's family. "Ooh, BILL, why aren't YOU married? We have to find you a WIFE!"

And once you have the wife it won't be enough. You will then have to have a kid and then another. Otherwise what was the point? That's what they'll say. They won't be satisfied until you complete the role.