I Found My Bashert

Principessa · Nov 6, 2009

I Found My Bashert

SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for shouting matches and mutual psychological torture. I enjoy smoking, drinking, kicking the dog, petty theft, and self-righteous indignation. Reasoning does not affect me, because I'm right no matter what. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by memorizing useless statistics. I enjoy chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 44, but look 60 and feel 70. I am looking for a good time and a few laughs.

YOU: You are a whiny, dumpy neurotic with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. Over time you will project all your dady-issues on me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. While you are technically still married, your husband doesn't seem to care - or so you assure me.

You feel very strongly about woman's rights and equality when it suits your purpose. Through a technicality you are currently not under parole supervision or otherwise grounded so we can actually do stuff. A big plus is if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take it slow with me. For our first date we should head over to Wal-Mart. You wouldn't have to get all dressed up an stuff, I could find out what your favorite beer was and you could find out if I blush when we walk through the lingerie section. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that ruins my life instantaneously but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. If the aforementioned does not appeal to you please read on.
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I'm kidding, he has a wry sense of humor and has obviously been thru the wringer. But he's really not my type. Funny profile though.:tongue:

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I Found My Bashert

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Principessa
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