I found my underaged cousin on Dlist. What should I do?

[D_BarryBunwarmer]

Ok, I just got an e-mail confirming that it's been deleted. I can't see though because the site is down for maintenance.

I'd rather not talk to him about it. Maybe I'll just steal his camera

 

[B_bttmaaron]

I can definitely understand not wanting to talk to him about such an uncomfortable subject. Hell, last week I had a hard time explaining an innocent question from a teenage cousin who while watching a crime show asked what sodomy was. Great idea contacting Dlist, but if he's lying about there, he could be lying on the other dozens of hookup sites, and may also be lying in real life. You still need to talk to him. If he is gay or bi, then he probably has all sorts of questions but no one to answer them. Not trying to sound corny, but you could change that. If you can't muster the strength to confront him on person or on the phone, send him an email and tell him what you know and why his behavior is dangerous in a nonparental way. Then ask him to contact you when he is ready.

 

[spunkyboy2008]

Talk to him even if he's been deleted. Otherwise he'll probably just join under a new name, and there are plenty of other, and worse sites he could join.

Also tell him that even ignoring his age it's not generally a good idea to post nude photos of yourself showing your face as you never know who will see them (as you found out) and they can circulate on the internet long after you've forgotten them. Do you want future friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands/wives/employers etc seeing a photo of you posing showing off your bits?

I found this out the hard way too, I was young and foolish and posted photos like that and then started coming across people in the real world like a bus driver (!) who said they'd seen them.

 

[D_BarryBunwarmer]

I found this out the hard way too, I was young and foolish and posted photos like that and then started coming across people in the real world like a bus driver (!) who said they'd seen them.

How did you handle that?

 

[HyperHulk]

I was browsing through Dlist. For those who haven't been there, it's a gay Myspace where you can post naked pics of yourself.

Anyway, I happen to come across my cousin who is 16. On his profile he says he's 18. And he does have nude pics of himself on there.

As far as I knew, he was straight. I know that's what his parents think. Should I confront him about it? It'd probably embarrass the hell out of him. And me too.

I'm not going to post a link to his profile for obvious reasons.

That's a tough one. I read that you contacted dlist so they could remove his pic, that was good because by posting a pic of himself at 16 he could be held accountable for transmitting child pornography and anyone who downloads the pic could be held accountable for possessing it.

I think that might be a reason you may want to talk with your cousin. You could approach from the standpoint that you're gay and you're open and not judging whether he is gay or not but you want him to make smart and safe choices. Posting pics of himself or sending them to anyone isn't smart or safe, anal sex without condoms isn't safe. Let him know that he can always approach you and talk to you about anything and that he never has to feel alone.

Sure he'll be embarrassed and might get a little defensive, but to a degree, this our obligation to young people. We need to have open and honest conversations with them and engage them in adult ways, while remembering they need to learn and grow.

So my vote, is be a friend and a cousin. Have an awkward conversation that most likely will end on a positive note. It would be far better than the police contacting his family to discuss the transmission of underage pics.

 

[dreamer20]

To the contrary, if he's claiming to be 18 he could be inviting sexual relationships with guys who are older. Depending on what state you're in, any guy he hooks up with could be unknowingly committing statutory rape. If it was found out, and the guy prosecuted, then your cousin could accidentally ruin someone's life.

Substitute the word deliberately there. That would be no accident for his deceptive cousin.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

I would say: leave him. He's not the only 16 years old boy that surfs on the net looking at porn and sharing porn. There are enough on this site too. At this time in our culture it's normal. When I was young I looked at porn too on the internet telling that I was 18. Otherwise I could not see it. I must say that I didn't share pictures, maybe that's the problem. Sometimes it's the best to confront him with that, you both have the same worries if they found out, maybe it's better to share that.