I fucking hate my body...

D_Tim McGnaw

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I don't hate my body...... but I'm still not happy with it.

I used to be upset that I wasn't that tall.... I used to be upset that I was hairy...... But think I'm past that now..... all the compliments I got from gay men on this site helped..... but pussy help the most (no offense, I really appreciate it)

Now I just wanna lose weight to hide the "slight" gynecomastia I have.


See, I've never really been able to translate the things other people say about my body into the language I use about myself. I always presume that even if there's a kernel of truth to the compliments others give me that they're also just being nice and trying to make me feel good. Some degree of polite or well-meaning exaggeration.



I hate mine too.
Want to swap? You can deal with the "Look at food and gain 20 lbs", and I'll enjoy your slim body and monstrous cock.

Some people cant gain weight, and there are those of us that can't loose it no matter what we try.
Genetics at play for the most part - not much we can do.



I look at food and gain 20lbs too :frown1: Which is tough because I'm naturally greedy and I LOVE food, so I have to be really strict with myself to maintain any degree of normality.

Well thank you for the compliments ! I think that you've taken a well adjusted approach to this to get the conversation started. I have always been a stocky guy, its genetic. Hell, everything I have is big... I wear a size 13 ring, a size 13 shoe....but, I've always been conscious of being thick in the middle. An emergency trip to the hospital in January made me take stock of things. Fortunately, the health problem turned out to be nothing at all, however, it gave me the encouragement to change some habits, get more exercise and improve things for myself.
As a result, I dont know if it was the change in my overall shape, or the tighter jeans, or even a change in attitude that I FEEL like I look better ( which can be powerful in itself ) but my social life and sex life have VASTLY improved...;) Anyone else going to chime in here ? :)


Thick in the middle eh? I inherited the natural apple shape tendency (among lots of other annoying genetic deficiencies) it's one of the reasons I find core muscle exercise so frustrating, I'm actually relatively fairly strong in my core but I find it virtually impossible even with a really strict diet to melt those last pounds off my middle to reveal all the hard work I put in down there.

In fact the only time I've ever had a anything even approaching a totally flat stomach/six pack was when I was living a seriously unhealthy lifestyle of partying and late nights and erratic meals. That didn't end well, so I wont be repeating that anytime soon.

I hate my body, it hates me. Mutual relationship lol. I have A LOT of health problems too, most which stem from the original health problem, (ask and I'll explain but it's a long story). I don't have a problem talking about it, I just don't like it when people try to sympathize or say people have it worse. Yes, I know other people have worse problems then me, that doesn't help how I feel about myself.


I know what you mean, it doesn't make it easier to deal with health problems knowing that others have worse problems than you, because ultimately you're not living in someone else's body, you're living in yours and it's the shit your body does to you that makes your life difficult.

Mind you, I don't get genuinely miserable about my health problems, I just get pissed off with the limitations and the niggling everyday shit which I just wish I could wake up one day and not have to deal with. It would be nice even just to have one whole month of my life completely free of illness or problems.


WTF Hilarius. You have a perfect body and a huge cock.Sure now the hate will pass.
Wait till you are old and your pubic hair turns grey, and you work in an environment where you are seen naked on a daily basis, and you see naked males daily(share a cabin offshore oil rigs, communal showers )
Then you realize that it pays off . I know I sound like your da or your teacher, but it's ego-boosting to walk into a place full of young outa shape young fucks and shed your clothes and walk proudly into the shower and get what seems like a passing comment , as in " what, you are 52?"
So love the body and keep at it now.


I'm far from perfect, but thank you anyway :redface: There's no chance of me giving up tbh, love my body or hate it, I take a 2 week holiday and come back looking like a whale, so it's not like I have a choice really :tongue:




From what I see I would say that you are hot :) . There are many things that I would like to change about my body but I try to think positive and not let it get me down.


Thank you :tongue: I'm not hot, I know some people find me attractive, and I'm incredibly thankful for that, I mean I have a healthy and active sex life, so I'm aware I'm not ugly. I'm just fed up of having to do the same kind of work just to look at the good end of normal that guys who look much better than normal do.

The problem with having a negative body image is that it leaks into other parts of our lives: relationships, intimacy with friends and family. It influences how we value ourselves and how we see others. Comparing our bodies to other people's is like comparing breeds of dogs. Some we like and others we don't. I think the best way to get over a negative self-image to to love another person and have them love you. Over time there is a change that occurs internally where you begin to see yourself with the eyes of your lover or friend. You can see yourself more objectively and openly...and begin to love yourself as you are.


I think the problem is that I see myself too objectively, rather than allowing myself to forget and be happy with how my body looks I find myself being too honest when I look in the mirror. Seeing the things others would notice about yourself isn't always such an empowering thing at all.

Knowing that for those things to disappear the person looking at me would need to have love-goggles on only makes things worse really. :tongue:

its tough when i go swimming in a public place and realize that my body is so skinny that i look more like a 15-year-old who hasnt finished puberty than most actual 15-year-olds.

And this is the problem, it's impossible not to compare yourself to others, now I'm not going to say that I see the guy on the street who clearly does workout twice a day and feel bad that I don't look like him, I don't because I know that if I want to look like that I need to work as hard as he does.

What I does kinda bug me is knowing that I don't look as good as I could do even though I already put in a lot of effort, and that there are guys who put in the same level of effort I do who look better than I do. That's frustrating, and comes down to the whole genetics and health conditions stuff.




I've been told thousands of times both in real life and on this website that I have a great body. Not so much a surprise, as I have worked hard for what I have now. I watch my diet, I regularly exercise and all the other regimental routines required to keep oneself in shape.

As a child and an early teen, however, I was a chubby kid with virtually no self-esteem and self-confidence. I decided enough was enough, and got my arse in gear. After a struggle, results came, and eventually I eased up, thinking I had found a comfortable plateau.

My body is one of those which goes to hell if mistreated, very, very quickly. A month of eating the occasional bit of junk food, lack of exercise and decent diet would result in me being fat, out of shape and feeling like hell. Meanwhile, there are people who haven't incorporated any kind of healthy regime in their life to date, and have washboard abs, lean bodies and perfect skin. That's just how it is.

Really, I hate my body, in the sense that it requires a lot of upkeep-- just to stay what I'd consider 'marginally above dead average'.




STORY OF MY LIFE! :tongue:
 
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0837s

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I've got a diff problem. When I was born, I had stomach problems and had to have surgery on my stomach days after I was born. It never really developed into a full size, adult stomach. I'm 6' and weigh ~135 lbs. I can eat anything I want and not put on any weight. I don't like the way I am now, so I'm choosing to make a change- hitting the gym and some supplements and planning on adding 50-60 lbs of muscle/weight.

I understand how you feel, because I'm in the same boat.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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I've got a diff problem. When I was born, I had stomach problems and had to have surgery on my stomach days after I was born. It never really developed into a full size, adult stomach. I'm 6' and weigh ~135 lbs. I can eat anything I want and not put on any weight. I don't like the way I am now, so I'm choosing to make a change- hitting the gym and some supplements and planning on adding 50-60 lbs of muscle/weight.

I understand how you feel, because I'm in the same boat.



It's so annoying when the thing that's keeping you from looking the way you want is something that's beyond your control, but you're dealing with it the best way, I hope you get the results you're looking for. :redface:
 

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We've all got body issues in some form or another. I was overweight as a kid. Hit puberty and was totally ashamed of my body. It wasn't until my 20s I decided to work with what I've got. The gym may not be your best place to start. It could... but for some it takes finding the right activity to really tap into accepting who you are and realizing you can like who you are naked, and alone at night. Once you realize you are cool just the way you are...it makes the process of making the right choices (like staying away from carbs - for me) easier to choose.

We all struggle.
 

uncutblond34

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Can I join you two in Ireland?
:beerchug: Its a deal !! Do you have any Irish in you ? Would you like some ??:biglaugh: I call dibs on Hilaire... we'll set you up with another hunk to entertain you....hehehehe All in fun, vgirl...you rock !
 
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B_Bjen2848

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i think as men, we have it easier than ladies on the image issue

men, in general are A LOT more visual when it comes to attraction, i think this is why (again in general) you see a lot more women worrying about their body, hair, weight, height, face etc. etc. etc. than men because they know that a man won't consider her a potential mate if she is not pretty

on the other hand, what women find attractive (again, in general) is based more on a man's confidence, attitude, things he says, how he says it, if he is a gentleman etc. etc... granted, how they look is a big factor for women, but not nearly as large as it is for men

with that being said, the guys here who are extremely insecure because of how they look are only hurting themselves because its not really the skinny arms, big stomach, thinning hairline (whatever it may be that has got the guy worried) it has a lot more to do with his lack of confidence that is turning women off

just my opinion .. anyone agree?
 
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D_Tim McGnaw

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... its not really the skinny arms, big stomach, thinning hairline (whatever it may be that has got the guy worried) it has a lot more to do with his lack of confidence that is turning women off

just my opinion .. anyone agree?


I don't recall anyone in the thread this far complaining of not being able to score with men or women. I certainly didn't.

Tbh, I didn't start this thread so people could start trying to make people with issues around their appearance feel inadequate, I'd appreciate it if you didn't attempt to drag it in that direction.

This thread is supposed to be about sharing how you feel about your body, and discussing those feelings and thoughts without being made to feel bad about yourself.
 

parchissi

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I am now in my "senior" years of my life - when I was young, I was fit, active, and in good shape. Over the years lifestyle changes happen and things start to change body wise. For a long time I hated how I looked in my older age - but now - I have come to realize that this is merely a stage in the story of my life - my journey - and as it nears its ending (not for a while I hope - but you know what I mean) I have come to accept how I look outwardly. Inwardly I am (or at least I hope I am) still the same sort of laid back caring sort of guy - happy to help anyone out - share what little I have with others - accept that I am so fortunate to live where I live - enjoy the lifestyle I have - and that compensates for my physical body that is kinda out of shape here and there now. I am still fit - run 10kms every morning - but no longer have the body of a 21 yr old. So people - enjoy who you are - be grateful for what you have - share with others and life will be sweet and long. Cheers,
 

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I think I know from where you're coming, Hilaire. I have been in a battle with my body to maintain it as I enter middle age. I work hard to try to keep in the same shape as I was twenty years ago. Maybe an ultimately futile endeavor and it does frustrate me at how increasingly difficult it continues to get. I have started to feel like a slave to my exercise routine. Yet I know that were I to stop I would "go to seed" which would make me very unhappy. So I keep going so as to stay such unhappiness.
 
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B_Bjen2848

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I don't recall anyone in the thread this far complaining of not being able to score with men or women. I certainly didn't.

Tbh, I didn't start this thread so people could start trying to make people with issues around their appearance feel inadequate, I'd appreciate it if you didn't attempt to drag it in that direction.

This thread is supposed to be about sharing how you feel about your body, and discussing those feelings and thoughts without being made to feel bad about yourself.


ummm .... ? :confused::confused:
 

B_Bjen2848

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I don't recall anyone in the thread this far complaining of not being able to score with men or women. I certainly didn't.

Tbh, I didn't start this thread so people could start trying to make people with issues around their appearance feel inadequate, I'd appreciate it if you didn't attempt to drag it in that direction.

This thread is supposed to be about sharing how you feel about your body, and discussing those feelings and thoughts without being made to feel bad about yourself.


sorry for trying to give people positive advice? why did you start this thread? for people to feel sorry for themselves? i guess misery loves company.... :frown1::frown1::frown1::frown1::frown1:
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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I think I know from where you're coming, Hilaire. I have been in a battle with my body to maintain it as I enter middle age. I work hard to try to keep in the same shape as I was twenty years ago. Maybe an ultimately futile endeavor and it does frustrate me at how increasingly difficult it continues to get. I have started to feel like a slave to my exercise routine. Yet I know that were I to stop I would "go to seed" which would make me very unhappy. So I keep going so as to stay such unhappiness.



:tongue: I know right? What happened to being able to eat what you liked, drink till you puke and still look great even though you'd never been anywhere near a gym?
 
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I hate your body too, Hil - but what can I do? :p

Tbh, I know what you mean - if you're battling against a lot of things (like a dysfunctional body lol), it's bloody hard just to stay average, nevermind in trim.

I'd just say remember the effort it's taken to be how you are already - prolly more than some ppl put in to be super healthy, so yknow - give yourself some credit, and try givin a bit less of a shit. :D

Btw, I've heard quite a few ppl are pretty partial to your body, so I wouldn't underrate yerself too much. ;)
 
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D_Tim McGnaw

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sorry for trying to give people positive advice? why did you start this thread? for people to feel sorry for themselves? i guess misery loves company.... :frown1::frown1::frown1::frown1::frown1:



Well firstly you admitted to loving your body, so presumably you don't have any insights to share on the subject of the thread. Secondly, it's the complete opposite of "positive advice" to tell people who do have problems with the way they look that their problems will make them sexually unattractive, it's not even really advice, it's just your fairly erroneous and unhelpful opinion (offered, I suspect, purely in an attempt to make you feel superior in some way) besides I don't recall anyone soliciting your "helpful advice".

My intuition is that you had no intention of being positive or helpful. So with that in mind, lets consider this conversation between you and I closed shall we? So the thread can return to its intended purpose.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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I hate your body too, Hil - but what can I do? :p

Tbh, I know what you mean - if you're battling against a lot of things (like a dysfunctional body lol), it's bloody hard just to stay average, nevermind in trim.

I'd just say remember the effort it's taken to be how you are already - prolly more than some ppl put in to be super healthy, so yknow - give yourself some credit, and try givin a bit less of a shit. :D

Btw, I've heard quite a few ppl are pretty partial to your body, so I wouldn't underrate yerself too much. ;)



:tongue: Thanks Joll. I think learning not to give so much of a shit is one of the next big challenges I face in a whole range of different aspects of my life. I tend to be extremely unforgiving of my failings, a habit I think I inherited.
 
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:tongue: Thanks Joll. I think learning not to give so much of a shit is one of the next big challenges I face in a whole range of different aspects of my life. I tend to be extremely unforgiving of my failings, a habit I think I inherited.
Yeh, it's tough that - I constantly fight against that perfectionist thing (believe it or not, lol), where you're much more sympathetic to others than yourself. Can get better at it over time, but need to check yourself quite often cos it's second nature lol.

Good luck anyway man. :)
 

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This is a hard one for me personally to reply to...

I have, since the age of 11 (the past 14 years) felt uncomfortable in my body, if it is viewed as being good OR bad...

In general I am happiest if no attention is paid to my physicality (oddly though, I am only talking about face to face attention, online is just different lol)

So called 'positive' attention tends to make me want to shy away, as if if they look at me too long I might have to live up to that positive attention in some way; and frankly 'negative' attention just makes me feel bad... So I can't win...

I have recently lost a LOT of weight (110lbs over the last 18 months-ish) so I guess despite my previously stated attitude I do in some way feel a need to look 'attractive' as defined by the majority... Personally I put this down to survival instinct...

As for 'hating my body' I can't say that I do. I disagree with a LOT of the choices that my body tries to force me to make in the way it reacts to certain stimuli (over eating) but having been quite, quite ill twice in my life (both illnesses brought me close to death on more occasions than I care to remember), and ignored by the medical profession when I asked for help the only thing that has allowed me to survive is the capacity for health that my body has naturally... So I can't really hate it due to my those experiences since you have to be ALIVE to hate something...

-J- x