i got blanked in a store today.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Jun 4, 2011.

  1. dolfette

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    by a guy i'm reasonably good friends with.
    and the reason why?
    he was with his partner, who is the jealous sort.
    he could not be seen saying hello to me.

    what's your take on this?
     
  2. Kevinsfriend

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  3. ManofThunder

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    I think he needs to find himself a partner who isn't jealous and manipulative. Or he needs to make her realise that it isn't a crime to say hello to someone.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    If he in fact did it I would talk to him and his partner. That is just not something I would be willing to let slide with a friend. I have however been accused of doing this many times when in fact I simply have horrible eyesight and did not see the person.
     
  5. dolfette

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    he saw me.
    when she was at the checkout, he did turn and smile.
    but that was several minutes later.
     
  6. rawbone8

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    If the guy really saw you and bailed by feigning not seeing you, and then surreptitiously acknowledged you...

    He's weak and a disappointment. His choice of snubbing you to keep the peace may be practical for him, but demonstrates how sad his life has become, if he panders to a jealous and irrational partner's neurosis.

    You're not really a threat to her peace and security, are you? If he prefers to hang with an intolerant partner, he's made his choice, and demoted you in his hierarchy of friends. Sad.
     
    #6 rawbone8, Jun 4, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2011
  7. nudeyorker

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    Well then with that in mind, I can't tell you what you should do but rather what I would do in the same situation. I would tell him that it is not possible to pursue any friendship going forward as he seems to value the feelings of his jealous, possessive partner over those of his friends. I would wish him well and move on. Life is too short for games like this.
     
  8. unzipped

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    guess I'm not hep....never heard that term..blanked before? I assume it means ignored?
     
  9. nudeyorker

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  10. dolfette

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    it's just sad to see people being crushed.
     
  11. jameshawket

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    I personally think that before you take any action on your part, you need to ask yourself a very imporant question:

    How important is this relationship to you?

    Do you want to keep remaining friends with this guy? Is he important enough for you to fight for?

    If he is, then you need to call him up and talk to him about the situation and tell him what's bothering you. DO NOT accuse his partner of manipulating him, as that is the quickest way to destroy any relationship. If someone accuses you in those words, you'd go on the defensive and refuse to hear anything else. Get his side of what happened, maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he really does know that his partner is uncomfortable with him talking to you, but he wants to keep the peace as someone said above. You don't know the circumstances of why he ignored you based off of what you think.

    You can go from this point. If you think it can be resolved by just talking to him, then end it. If you think you need to talk to her as well, arrange for some time to go over and sit down with her and calmly talk about whatever is bothering her and try to clear the air. Go into it with peace and calm in your heart. If this friendship is worth fighting for, then you need to go into it with the right attitude, not "you're a psycho so stop being crazy" attitude.

    If you ask yourself this question and come to realize that this friendship is not that important to you, and you can live without him, then make your peace with yourself, realize its over, go through whatever process you need with yourself to get over it, and move on and be nice to him in public if he's nice to you, but don't go out of your way to do anything special for him.

    That's my opinion. Take it for a grain of salt.
     
  12. dolfette

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    none of that's really my style.
    it only bothers me in a 'poor him' way.
    it's not going to make any difference.

    i just wanted more perspectives than my own.
     
  13. kurios

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    Friends don't do that
    Shorten you Christmas list by one
     
  14. hsarge

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    Dolfie, boink him really good and then the next time you see him,ignore HIM. he will be crushed because men think after them there could not possibly be anyone else.
     
  15. dolfette

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    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
     
  16. D_Selmus_Swallow

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    Yeah, that's pretty weak. Depends on how good of a friend he is to you and how much you'd like to keep in touch with him as to what I'd do. I'd definitely call bullshit on him though, I mean get a spine already.
     
  17. killerb

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    if anyone did that to me, they'd never have to worry about doing it again because in my mind, they'd be written off...I would ignore them forever as if I had never known them.
     
  18. B_RedDude

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    Unless the guy's a player and she knows it, his partner is mentally ill.

    Did you even ever have a more romantic relationship with this guy?

     
    #18 B_RedDude, Jun 4, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2011
  19. CrookedHalo

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    Yeah I'd have to call him out on this one for sure. I'd wonder if he values our friendship as a true friendship. Are you sure that he wasn't avoiding you because he was worried that his girl might have seen more than friendship in his eyes?

    I'm just wondering if this is a possibility (I'm not trying to suggest anything).
     
  20. Incocknito

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    Are you sure you're not jealous that he has a partner? One that isn't you maybe?

    You say "poor him" but you only know what you see from these brief encounters or possibly hearsay. He could very happy with his partner.

    Poor you for making such a big deal out of it and getting upset/annoyed to the extent that you feel the need to make a thread on the internetz.

    Two sides to every story.
     
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