I Got Into A Fight Yesterday :( Nearly killed someone.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Dick_LeCoque, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. D_Dick_LeCoque

    D_Dick_LeCoque New Member

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    Yesterday I was driving in Glasgow, yep worse place to drive. I'm stuck in fucking traffic, cause this Taxi guy stops in the damn middle of the street. Just double parked which is illegal. So I keep blowing my horn and he still doesn't go.

    So one of these pedestrians this tall guy tells me to stop which is none of his business. I still continue and he takes his fist and bangs on my window. I roll down my window and told him to shut the fuck up so he reached in and punched my jaw and slammed his fist on the bonnet leaving a minor dent. I get out with my baseball bat and bashed his face in, knocked him out.

    The police and ambulance arrived and I explained what happened. I never got into any trouble cause he attacked me first and I was defending myself. Even nearby witnesses agreed to what they saw. When he banged on my window I let it go. But once he popped me in the jaw it was it. Anyways I'm gonna sue cause I've got minor fractures to my lower jaw bone after being in the hospital for 6 hours. My jaw is in total pain. I can't eat at all.

    Everything feels weird. The doctor told me if he had hit it again he would of knocked it out of place and I would require surgery to fix it. Oh my god I'm going to sue the living shit out of him for my jaw and the dent in my car. I swear I could of killed him but I didn't.

    I'm a good guy I mind my business and everything. But this guy had no right coming up to my car like that. I don't have a lawyer but my parents do and I told my mum and then she got scared, and said 'You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air'. I whistled for a Cab and when it came near, I saw the license plate said 'FRESH' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I thought this cab was rare but I sad "Naw forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air!
     
  2. invisibleman

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    Maybe you could pay your lawyer a little bit more money...he could tranq dart the guy and bugger him in the arse.
     
  3. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    I don't know about the laws in the UK/scotland, but here in the states, what that would probably constitute is assault of either kind. All depends who the gets the worst. At most, the guy who reached in & smacked your jaw around is looking at some sort of felony/aggravated assault. You? You took out a baseball bat(Didn't know you guys played over there!) and retaliated by fucking up his face with it. I- don't know how much that's actually gonna play out as self defense if the guy didn't take another shot at you before you let your Pete Rose/Louisville Slugger, whatever do a number on him.

    Talk to your lawyer, see what happens.
     
  4. MichiganRico

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    Hope you don't work for the Scottish Tourist Board...you're not exactly poster boy material, Mr. AverageUK.
     
  5. D_Dick_LeCoque

    D_Dick_LeCoque New Member

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    lol, has anyone actually read this whole thing in full? The End paragraph in particular.
     
  6. DiscoBoy

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    :boggled::wtf1::boggled:
     
  7. D_Kissimmee Coldsore

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    I'll see you in court, Mr Average.
     
  8. Skull Mason

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    yo that is one of the most hilarious posts I have ever read lol
     
  9. Notthe7

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    You know what is fishy about this post.....
    Shit very similar actually happened to ME at the gas station.
    Fucking nazi gas pump sluts.....really.


    YO HOLMES SMELL YA LATA.
     
  10. earllogjam

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    lol, I've been in a road rage wrestling fist fight. Brings back fond memories.

    Ahhhhh....

    Just be happy that hand guns are illegal in Britain.
     
  11. Pendlum

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    Hahahaha, I'm amazed that some people didn't get it. This is like, a common *chan troll. <insert story that gets you in trouble><end with Fresh Prince lyrics and references>
     
  12. Gl3nn

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    lol, MrAverageUK aka fresh prince
     
  13. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    All that aggression and that hot dick, i think i'm in love!!!!!!!!
     
  14. D_Lawhitton Megabutt

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    u knob, i was already thinking of how to reply and my own experiences with knob head taxi drivers. u give us brits a bad name

    *yo
     
  15. D_Alldwin_Applesack

    D_Alldwin_Applesack Account Disabled

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    lmfao. oh boy. I was reading and reading and BAM! the ending HIT ME IN THE JAW! I'm gonna go do some carlton dances >:)
     
  16. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Will Smith can annoy me though
     
  17. B_Mister Buildington

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    I knew this was fake as soon as I heard that OP didn't get in legal trouble for carrying a baseball bat. Anything you can defend yourself with is illegal to carry in the UK.
     
  18. invisibleman

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    Dance, Carlton, dance!
     
  19. D_Dick_LeCoque

    D_Dick_LeCoque New Member

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    I am the man!



    tbh
     
  20. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I immediately knew this was fake too because of a recent event involving my parents.

    They live in a quiet and decent area but some scallywag decided to steal some stuff from their garage. My Mother spotted him out of the window and although she is 70 she gave chase (fortunatey a neighbour stopped her).

    Later when the Police came round my Mother was warned for having offensive weapons in the house. She has a pot inside the front door which contains a couple of walking sticks and brollies :rolleyes: They are there for when they take the dog for a walk. My Mother reminded the Cop that he was there because they were victims of a crime not because she had "Fucking walking sticks in the house".

    The Police in the UK seem hell bent on apportioning blame on victims. I suppose they are an easier target than the criminals. :frown1:
     
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