I guess I'm not gay

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ssongs, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. ssongs

    ssongs Active Member

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    Well I invited someone over, a guy, to suck my dick. Met him at school somewhere. And before he came over I was like, yeah I'm going to get a BJ! But when he got herem I was so nervous. He came in and I said I've never been with another guy before. He said we can do whatever, just be comfortable.

    Now when I'm with a chick and we're going to fuck, before I even get my clothes off, I'm horny as hell. But with the two of us standing there talking about it, I was horny at all! Just had this feeling in my stomach. So I told him I wasn't comfortable and he left. So I guess its not for me.

    Anybody else experience this?
     
  2. DV8

    DV8
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    Believe it or not, psychologically, it was probably anxiety. You're not familiar with same sex experiences, in which that's okay- it's never been introduced to you, but sexual interactions with women are familiar to you. In order to enjoy it, or be able to pursue it, I would recommend that you have a drink or two first- that way, you're able to release your fantasies. For you to invite this guy over, there had to have been a great curiousity there. Just relax, and have fun.
    Dante':rolleyes:
     
  3. dudepiston

    dudepiston New Member

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    Yeah, I'm no expert and while I agree you should relax about it I don't think alcohol's the way to go either. You could end up drinking a little too much, and we all know that can affect our judgment. I had almost this exact experience in college - this guy I invited over was well-known around campus as fairly experienced at gay sex, and that kind of thrilled me. He was shorter than me, good-looking, some muscles, and a nice bulge ;) When it got down to it, however, and he was in my dorm room sitting in my chair, I got nervous and froze. Didn't know what to do - and he didn't take the lead for whatever reason. He left suddenly and I felt bad but I assumed it was because it was not meant to happen with HIM. Perhaps the chemistry between you & this fellow was not correct. Perhaps you in fact are NOT gay or even bi....and that's good information to have but I'm not sure you can make this large of a decision based upon this one experience. I know I certainly didn't. Good luck....

    -DP
     
  4. baseball99

    baseball99 New Member

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    or he could actually just not be turned on by it.....
     
  5. joyboytoy79

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    Gay Str8 Bi, who cares??? If you get turned on *thinking* about having sex with a guy, do it sometime. If you don't get turned on *thinking* about having sex with a guy, don't bother inviting guys over for sex.

    Just because you get head from a guy doesn't mean you're gay. Conversely, just because you've never had sex with a guy doesn't mean your straight. Hinging your entire sexual identity on one nervous non-encounter seems a little premature.
     
  6. MH07

    MH07 Member

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    I know that the first time I did it with another man, (a) I was terrified, (b) I was horny as hell and hard as a rock, (c) it seems like it was forever but it was probably 15 seconds, (d) I had huge guilt trips afterward (thanks to religious background).

    I have, however, had the exact same reaction as you describe---with a woman.

    It is possible you just have no interest. It is also possible that the "contrived" situation didn't work for you. Contrived situations don't work for me. "Ok, we're going to have sex at precisely 3:17 on Tuesday". Gee. How sexy. Or, it's possible that the anxiety got to you.

    Maybe you need to find the right guy to experiment with, a less-forced situation. If you still feel unpleasant about it after a couple of incidents, I'd say it's not for you, but this one thing sounds very stilted and contrived to me.
     
  7. ssongs

    ssongs Active Member

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    Thanks for all of the advice. I know I'm not 100% gay. I see chicks all the time and can't help but stare and get a boner. I guess I need to still experiment and actually go through with something to see if I'm bi-sexual. But like one of you said, you don't to be gay to get a BJ from a dude.

    B
     
  8. davidjh7

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    OK---you had some curiosity, you gave it a shot, and have drawn your conclusions. You may or may not come across another guy in your life who you CAN be sexual with. And just because you can be SEXUAL with someone doesn;t define your sexuality. I know I CAN be sexual with women, and enjoy it, but that doesn;t make me straight, it makes me open minded enough to realize that under the right circumstances with the right person, I can be aroused and perform sexually and enjoy it. If you are uncomfortable with it, then stay focused on women, and don;t worry about it. You are who you are, inside, and that is pretty much set in stone. Just enjoy your life with the people you want to share it with, in whatever ways you want to share it with them.
     
  9. Frostbite

    Frostbite New Member

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    I wouldn't worry so much about whether you're gay or straight. Be young, have fun, do what comes natural and don't try to force a label on yourself.
     
  10. transformer_99

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    Are you disappointed that you aren't gay ?
     
  11. SurferGirlCA

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    I took a fascinating Human Sexuality class in college (yayyyy science g.e. requirements). I learned so much! For example, supposedly 90+% of men curl their toes to some degree when they orgasm (of course, for the next few weeks I found myself staring at my boyfriend's feet every time he came :tongue:).

    Any way, one of the theories we discussed is that a truer gauge of sexual orientation for those who are experimenting or unsure is which gender you consistently fantasize about having sex with, as opposed to which gender you actually have sex with. The conscious mind may overrule the subconscious mind during waking hours, especially given societal pressures to conform, but the subconscious mind runs rampant once sleep takes over. :wink:
     
  12. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Yes, when I was 19. I messed around with a friend of mine and it made me want to vomit. I was grossed out for a good 2 weeks afterwards. I got another girlfriend and fucked her for the next 2.5 years. I got another chance when I was 21 and the guy was hotter than hot. We were all over each other for the next 3 months.
     
  13. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Uh oh.... that could be problematic.:rolleyes:

    You are correct in that case, Surfer. We heard all about that in one of our sexual behaviour classes.
     
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