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Maybe this helps.
A few years back my friend got married. All sorts of issues. He certainly isn't 100% st8 (he might even be 100% gay), there were issues of religion, issues of unhappy parents, the marriage for him came as a package with in-laws. All sorts of positives also. She is nice, caring, could be a fashion model, and offered the respectable middle class coupledom my friend wanted. She has a caring husband and the jet set lifestyle (my friend is rich). In many ways it is an unlikely marriage, but in many ways it has worked.
I've put a lot of energy into getting on with my friend's wife. For that matter she's put a lot of energy into getting on with me. No it hasn't been easy and we don't really have a whole lot in common. But we get on. She's nice. She cares for my friend.
As a result I'm in touch with my friend. When I had a problem a while back he was there for me. In very many ways I do feel sad that I don't see anything like as much of my friend as I once did. Since marrying he has had a period of depression, put on way too much weight and not given the impression of being particularly happy. No children either - which rather begs the question why they got married in the first place given the family issues. I don't think everything has been wonderful for him (or her) but they've made things work and are together.
We all have to accept people's life choices, whether they are relatives or friends. And we all have to make an effort to support their life choices. Most of the time I think my friend was a bit of a prat to marry, but he's done it and he and his wife are making it work. Good on them.
If the marriage ever broke down I think my friend would be distraught. I couldn't wish this on him - or her. And I don't think our friendship could ever go back to quite the type it was, as I think he would be forever missing his wife. Basically life moves on. Life is tough.
A few years back my friend got married. All sorts of issues. He certainly isn't 100% st8 (he might even be 100% gay), there were issues of religion, issues of unhappy parents, the marriage for him came as a package with in-laws. All sorts of positives also. She is nice, caring, could be a fashion model, and offered the respectable middle class coupledom my friend wanted. She has a caring husband and the jet set lifestyle (my friend is rich). In many ways it is an unlikely marriage, but in many ways it has worked.
I've put a lot of energy into getting on with my friend's wife. For that matter she's put a lot of energy into getting on with me. No it hasn't been easy and we don't really have a whole lot in common. But we get on. She's nice. She cares for my friend.
As a result I'm in touch with my friend. When I had a problem a while back he was there for me. In very many ways I do feel sad that I don't see anything like as much of my friend as I once did. Since marrying he has had a period of depression, put on way too much weight and not given the impression of being particularly happy. No children either - which rather begs the question why they got married in the first place given the family issues. I don't think everything has been wonderful for him (or her) but they've made things work and are together.
We all have to accept people's life choices, whether they are relatives or friends. And we all have to make an effort to support their life choices. Most of the time I think my friend was a bit of a prat to marry, but he's done it and he and his wife are making it work. Good on them.
If the marriage ever broke down I think my friend would be distraught. I couldn't wish this on him - or her. And I don't think our friendship could ever go back to quite the type it was, as I think he would be forever missing his wife. Basically life moves on. Life is tough.