I hate, hate, hate, hate my birth name

[D_Tim McGnaw]

Yeah, he explains his bad feelings with the history of the name and how he's not the only one who shares his opinion of the name, but the fact is that he himself still just doesn't like the name. You can't really expect him to just begin loving the name that he's called after he's disliked it all this time, can you? And if he's the one who doesn't like it, I see nothing wrong with changing it.

I would feel like he was giving in to peer pressure and the opinions of others if he said that he personally likes the name, but since so many other people have disliked it, he feels compelled to change it.

By your reasoning, you imply that you would be behind him if he said that everyone loves his name except for him and no one was supporting him about changing his name, but that's what he wants, but since other people agree with him that he has a bad name, he shouldn't change it.

I don't expect him to do anything, it's his life he's entitled to do what he wants. What I'm questioning is his motivation for this proposed name change.

You can't seriously suggest that the opinions of people who mocked him for his name, or people who presume he's an idiot just because he has the name he has are remotely worthy of consideration when attempting to come to a decision can you?

I'm asking why he cares what others think of his name, and why he thinks it important to have the good opinion of people who are obviously morons.

If anything he should be thankful his name has acted like a wanker-filter showing people upp for the fools they are in their responses to it.

 

[luka82]

What's right for you isn't going to be right for someone else.

True.

 

[petite]

I don't expect him to do anything, it's his life he's entitled to do what he wants. What I'm questioning is his motivation for this proposed name change.

You can't seriously suggest that the opinions of people who mocked him for his name, or people who presume he's an idiot just because he has the name he has are remotely worthy of consideration when attempting to come to a decision can you?

I'm asking why he cares what others think of his name, and why he thinks it important to have the good opinion of people who are obviously morons.

I agree with you that he shouldn't care about the opinions of morons, but that's not how I read his description of why he dislikes his name, and I think that's where we're divisive on the subject.

I read it as him illustrating how his own personal opinion of his name is universally shared by others, and you're reading it as the only reason why he's changing his name is because of the opinion of others.

For me, it's simple. Regardless of whether other people agree with him or not, he says that he doesn't like the name. He hasn't liked it for an extremely long time. He has only two choices then, he can either learn to love it (which is improbable) or change it.

Like I said above, if I thought that he personally liked his name and he was actually only changing it because someone else made fun of him, then I wouldn't be supportive, but he's emphasized that he doesn't like it himself, so that's why I support him.

 

[Empathizer]

Why should he keep his name because someone might make fun of him over something else if he does change his name? He still doesn't like his name.

Not saying he should, but it appears that he's rationalizing running away with some contrived name-dislike.

I think that unless circumstances are extreme, like in poor Brother Sh*thead O'F*ckerc*nt's case, we hate our names because other people say them in a disrespectful or demeaning way. My name was one of the top three in the year I was named, and there were three of us in every class I was ever in, but when people addressed me by that name, it was never in a way I liked. So I ended up wanting the names of more-esteemed classmates. Like Lillian, whose name began with a script "L"; sounded like a harp glissando;and was shortened to "Lily," a beautiful and delicate white flower. Or "Margot," the name of some of the most beautiful European Queens. Or "Veronica," after Elvis Costello's tragically romantic story-song heroine, and the Patroness of Photography, whose veil was dainty and miraculous.

My point is, a name is a pilgrim badge in reverse. It only sounds good in our ears when we get good feedback using that name. It's a phenomenon so basic that I recall the obedience trainer at the kennel where we boarded our dog saying that the "No!" command should never be combined with the name of the dog, because the dog would end up sad and neurotic. And hating his name. And never coming when called. Which is true of people, too.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I agree with you that he shouldn't care about the opinions of morons, but that's not how I read his description of why he dislikes his name, and I think that's where we're divisive on the subject.

I read it as him illustrating how his own personal opinion of his name is universally shared by others, and you're reading it as the only reason why he's changing his name is because of the opinion of others.

For me, it's simple. Regardless of whether other people agree with him or not, he says that he doesn't like the name. He hasn't liked it for an extremely long time. He has only two choices then, he can either learn to love it (which is improbable) or change it.

Like I said above, if I thought that he personally liked his name and he was actually only changing it because someone else made fun of him, then I wouldn't be supportive, but he's emphasized that he doesn't like it himself, so that's why I support him.

Even by your reading what possible use is this universal opinion of his name in making this decision? It's his name, no one else's opinion of it is relevant no?

 

[petite]

Not saying he should, but it appears that he's rationalizing running away with some contrived name-dislike.

I think that unless circumstances are extreme, like in poor Brother Sh*thead O'F*ckerc*nt's case, we hate our names because other people say them in a disrespectful or demeaning way. My name was one of the top three in the year I was named, and there were three of us in every class I was ever in, but when people addressed me by that name, it was never in a way I liked. So I ended up wanting the names of more-esteemed classmates. Like Lillian, whose name began with a script "L"; sounded like a harp glissando;and was shortened to "Lily," a beautiful and delicate white flower. Or "Margot," the name of some of the most beautiful European Queens. Or "Veronica," after Elvis Costello's tragically romantic story-song heroine, and the Patroness of Photography, whose veil was dainty and miraculous.

My point is, a name is a pilgrim badge in reverse. It only sounds good in our ears when we get good feedback using that name. It's a phenomenon so basic that I recall the obedience trainer at the kennel where we boarded our dog saying that the "No!" command should never be combined with the name of the dog, because the dog would end up sad and neurotic. And hating his name. And never coming when called. Which is true of people, too.

Wow, I am shocked at this extreme reaction to the idea of changing one's name! I suppose that you think less of me for wanting to change mine, too?

I don't think that one can analyze a particular action and attribute only a single motivation to that behavior. Many times people appear to be behaving in similar ways, but those actions have entirely different motivations.

My mother has changed her name twice, and since the second name she had as an adult, I seriously doubt that she was motivated by being made fun of by anyone. It's more like she was marking the different periods of her life, putting a period at the end of one chapter and starting a new one. I rather admired her for it. I also think that name changing may be more common in other cultures than this one, which maybe changes the meaning of it, too.

I've wanted to change my name since I was about 12, and not long after my mother's second name change, and honestly, no one has ever made fun of my name. Not as a child or in a way that made me feel embarrassed. I just wanted to be called something else. I fell in love with a particular name and I just liked it. I don't feel like I was running away then and if I changed my name now, I don't feel like I'd be running away from anything either. The names I've wanted have evolved over time, but that desire has never gone away. I've still wanted to do it and I would hope that I wouldn't be so harshly judged if I did.

 

[petite]

Even by your reading what possible use is this universal opinion of his name in making this decision? It's his name, no one else's opinion of it is relevant no?

I'm sorry, you've lost me.

 

[Empathizer]

Your name change is different from his.

He is running away. You made an aesthetic decision.

Plus, your mother changed hers.

That's establishing a positive familial tradition of name change. He doesn't mention anything of the sort.

 

[petite]

Your name change is different from his.

He is running away. You made an aesthetic decision.

True, I did make an aesthetic decision.

It's possible that he's partially motivated by an aesthetic desire, too, no? To shed an unattractive name and choose one that he likes, that would be more aesthetically pleasing?

I don't see how it can be okay for me to change my name because I wasn't made fun of, but he can't change his name because he was and that means that he has to learn to love it. I can't wrap my head around that idea. It doesn't seem fair.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I say change it. If it bothers you fix it ) I went out on a few dates with a guy named Lamule. However, that is not what everyone called him.

My name was supposed to be Jacinda Dawn (pronouced like Ja Cind A Dawn...) LMAO, thank you Daddy for saving me from my hippie Mother.

 

[Empathizer]

I didn't say he had to. But you'll be happy being you because you are already. He isn't and won't be until he addresses the real issues -- which are social, not name-related.

He can do what he wants. I'm just saying that inner peace doesn't come from rebranding. It comes from self-love.

 

[petite]

Plus, your mother changed hers.

That's establishing a positive familial tradition of name change. He doesn't mention anything of the sort.

This is true and I believe at the root of why I probably feel that it's not so unusual or strange to want to do such a thing and just do it.

 

[Endued]

I say change it. If it bothers you fix it ) I went out on a few dates with a guy named Lamule. However, that is not what everyone called him.

Lamule would be a great name for a porn star.

 

[petite]

I say change it. If it bothers you fix it ) I went out on a few dates with a guy named Lamule. However, that is not what everyone called him.

My name was supposed to be Jacinda Dawn (pronouced like Ja Cind A Dawn...) LMAO, thank you Daddy for saving me from my hippie Mother.

:lmao:

That was pretty funny!

I didn't say he had to. But you'll be happy being you because you are already. He isn't and won't be until he addresses the real issues -- which are social, not name-related.

He can do what he wants. I'm just saying that inner peace doesn't come from rebranding. It comes from self-love.

I totally agree. If you think that changing your name will change who you are, then you are going to be unhappy with the end result. (I'm speaking in general and not to any particular person.)

 

[HiddenLacey]

Lamule would be a great name for a porn star.

*snicker*

He was such a pretty boy, definitely not a porn star, unless I missed out:tongue:

 

[B_stu.kay823]

My sis was gonna be Drucilla. My dad turned things around tho. Now its something vy plain but sweet and it suits her

 

[ManlyBanisters]

As my mother once wrote to me in a birthday card "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.... Happy Birthday, Stinkweed!" :smile:

 

[nudeyorker]

If you hate your name change it. I hated my first name so much that I insisted I be called by my middle name by the age of eight. I legally changed it when I was twenty one.

 

[silvertriumph2]

I had a friend in grade school who's name was Seth.....but his last name was Poole.....so
of course he was called...."Cesspool."
How could a parent name their child something like that? Were they just stupid?

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

I had a friend in grade school who's name was Seth.....but his last name was Poole.....so
of course he was called...."Cesspool."
How could a parent name their child something like that? Were they just stupid?

My wife used to work in the nursery at a big public hospital. The workers kept a list of the silliest names that babies got tagged with by their parents.

I changed my name, too. Life's too short to have a name that doesn't represent you.