This thread is awesome for the fact that some many people can relate with op. I'm 24, and just started my first gay relationship in October. I had an experience As a child that made me question whether I was gay or if it was just something developed from the past. But I can honestly say I dated girls and told them I loved them. But I have never felt love like I have with my boyfriend.
And so now I am at 24 Im finally coming to terms with being gay. I hate that word, I almost just want to say bi because it doesn't feel like the word gay feels.
I have been an emotional wreck since we got together and I realized This is who I want to be with forever. But that has definitely not been easy to accept. I still can't, how do I tell my 3 brothers 21,18,17 years old. I mean I know it's not wrong, but I just became ok with it you know. How can I expect them to not judge etc. I am so straight appearing that it's easy to hide.
I can't say I hate myself for it, and definitely hope you don't. At the End of the day you have to remember that we didn't choose to be gay. I fully believe its a genetic trait or embedded somewhere. I am also ADD, and left handed. Lots of research could be put into linking these.
This thread has definitely helped me along my journey to self acceptance. This place has its idiots and creepers. But there are so many awesome genuine people here to help, I think you will be just fine