I hate the "How I got a __ inch" junk mail

B_IanTheTall

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Every once in a while, I get irritated enough to send out a response, like this one:

If you haven't already got a 9 incher between your legs, the only way you are going to get a 9 incher is by taking a 9 incher between your cheeks.

Wish I could help you get a 9 incher, but you'll just have to settle for me purely genetic 10 incher. Spread them wide, it's a behemoth.

At this time I'd like to thank my Dad for not being greedy and sharing his genes with me.
 

CraigS41

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Hello:

I do basically the same thing when I get those telemarketers calling me. I act like I am having sex and then tell them "I'm sorry, but I am too busy sucking a guys dick and taking another guys dick up my ass to talk to you, unless you are close enough to get over here and fuck me too." After that, I usually only hear silence, so I yell like I am cumming and then hang up.

Craig

P.S. Ian, I took a 10"er one time and LOVED every bit of it
 

DC_DEEP

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Ian, I'm a little confused... are you talking about email or postal mail?

If it is email, NEVER EVER RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Regardless of how irritating they are, never respond to those. It simply validates a legitimate email address, which is then used even more by the spammer, and sold to other spammers.

I have written to my Congressman, requesting that he draft legislation to outlaw trafficking in personal information. Of course, he eventually sent me a bullshit no-answer response ("Thank you for contacting my office. I will look into this matter. I will contact the Federal Trade Commission regarding this matter, and let you know what I find out.") Uh, first of all, I did not ask him to contact the FTC. Second of all, I didn't ask him to do any research, I asked him to draft a bill to outlaw a harmful trade practice. He's confused about one thing: he thinks my job is to pay his salary, when actually, his job is to work toward my benefit.

You should know that as far as your postal address goes, one of the biggest offenders is the US Postal Service. When you send in one of those change-of-address forms, that information goes into a database, which the USPS then periodically sells to mass marketers.

For what it's worth, I actually save up all the business reply envelopes that get sent to me, unsolicited, and once a week, I put nonsense in them and send them. The company still gets charged for the postage, and their mailroom gets either coupons, solicitations from another company, or a "personal ads" page from one of the local sleazy publications.
 

mindseye

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Sometimes I'll get e-mails that proclaim ENLARGE YOUR PENIS UP TO 2 INCHES!!!

...
and I want to reply with, "ha ha ha, I'm already up to 2 inches!"

*smirk*
 

B_IanTheTall

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DC_DEEP said:
If it is email, NEVER EVER RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Regardless of how irritating they are, never respond to those. It simply validates a legitimate email address, which is then used even more by the spammer, and sold to other spammers.
Not getting an automated bounce/error reply from the pop server's daemon confirms a valid email, weather you respond or not.

I guess I forgot to mention that this was spam that was being sent to a Yahoo group.
 

Nitrofiend

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mindseye said:
Sometimes I'll get e-mails that proclaim ENLARGE YOUR PENIS UP TO 2 INCHES!!!

...
and I want to reply with, "ha ha ha, I'm already up to 2 inches!"

*smirk*

Why would I only want it to be two inches? :p