I was having sex with this girl and she said I was too big. She said there was minor bleeding from her vagina and she noticed it afterwards.
We're both young. Shes a tiny girl. 5'2ish and really tight. My dick is 8" and she said she's used to something way smaller. She's mentioned this a few times now. I think she's kind of scared to do it again because of what happened.
Should I just take it slower next time and work it in gradually. Lube up? What should I do here. I dont want to make it uncomfortable for her.
To the Original Post, here is my advice.
First, I would say, "Do you care about her experience?" if not, then reading my post will be a waste of your time. But from when you said "I don't want to make it uncomfortable for her." I'm guessing that you actually do care, and in that case, I would be willing to share some helpful advice.
I have encountered the exact same problem in the past with my former girlfriend, and even today with my current girlfriend. So my advice will hopefully be of use.
You have to rethink your whole game plan, YES!!! of course she would be scared to have sex with you again, you caused her pain and made her bleed, I don't think most girls actually enjoy that. (except a small number who are into that, I've never met one though)
In my opinion the reason that so many women have a hard time fitting men with large dicks is not their fault and rather the fault of the man. You have a large sized penis, and there is a responsibility that comes with that if you plan to have mutually enjoyable sex.
In some respects a man with a large penis trying to fit in a small vagina needs a higher sexual IQ than the average man for things to work right. If he doesn't have the control, patience, and energy to focus all of his energy into merging his big cock in that tight vagina, he will probably end up hurting the girl, and forcing a halt to the sex. The girl is the easier one to place the blame on because its so easy to say "Oh she couldn't fit me" but really, most women can accommodate most sizes
IF:
- Both partners are focused on making sex enjoyable.
- The man is willing to play along, and be patient.
- The couple is willing to communicate, and do research.
Sex is not simple math, you say you're 8 inches today, maybe tomorrow you are 8.1, or 7.9, same goes with her as well, her size will fluctuate too, sometimes she will be able to take more on some days and less on others. There are so many variables to think about.
She might not be wet enough, she might not be aroused enough. When a woman is aroused - properly warmed up, she will be able to take your dick much deeper then if she isn't. If you don't believe me, just try it. One day, while you are intimate, hurry along through the foreplay, and just go straight to penetration, and see how she reacts to it after 1 min, 5 min, 10 min, etc. Then, once you've realized that I might be onto something, on another night, slow it down, take your time, and put her first. You will be glad you did.
Now here is your mission.
Right now you are trying to take sex from "Painful and Bleeding" to "ENJOYABLE". Do not have your focus be on her orgasm, that is a completly different task. It is very important, but its a totally different issue to tackle.
Some women can orgasm while walking up a flight of stairs, and some women will grow old and grey and unfortunately never have an orgasm. Right now we're talking about baby steps, you fitting inside her, with no bleeding and pain.
Know that it might take some time, it might be challenging, and will probably be frustrating. Tenacity is the key word here. I dont mean to say, "If it doesn't fit, try try again" NO, I mean, if it doesn't fit the first time, that doesnt mean you should give up and go home, you have to stick with it.
IT'S ALL ABOUT HER
Next time you are intimate with her, lay her down. Get the lights right, the music right, make sure she is warm enough, very key.
Touch her with your hands, run your fingers through her hair, tickle her, kiss her skin, her shoulders, her thighs, her lips, all over, go down on her, use a vibrator, use your hands, use whatever you need to to get her hot and sticky and wet. If this will get her off, then great, that will make things even better. But keep in mind, that for some women, it is not always all about the orgasm, like how it is for men. Sex for her can be very enjoyable even if she never cums. (although once you have found how to make her cum, she will be very thankful to you for it)
Once she is ready, and wet, and begging you for it, that means she is in the right place, mentally and physiologically, having her be mentally and physically aroused will take you miles.
Then go ahead with the penetration. BUT START SLOW.
When I say slow, I mean S-L-O-W. Try a position where she has control of the depth, like her on top of you. Then apply lube to your dick, and push the head of your dick against her pussy lips,
your focus for the first five or ten minutes should be on getting JUST the head of your dick in her. Not more, just the head, just the first inch or two. This is what I mean by slow.
Pay close attention to her and how she feels, she might be in tears, she might be in deep pleasure, she might be struggling, pay attention, and judge your next move on her reaction.
If everything is working, and she is taking you relatively well. Go a bit deeper, spend the next 5 minutes working the first 3-4 inches of your dick into her, if she is able to take you that far, things are going very well.
There is a theory that I personally believe in, and the basic philosophy is that as a woman becomes more and more aroused, she will be able to accommodate a larger penis because the vagina becomes "tented". I've felt this first hand, so I think its true. But I'm not a woman, or a scientist, so I can't stamp it as being certifiable.
If you have been taking your time like I said, and focusing on her pleasure, she will probably not only be able to take your dick right now, but she will probably be very close to orgasm, if she hasn't already, and she will be so aroused, your dick slowly penetrating her inch by inch will be driving her WILD.
At this point and she might be begging you to thrust as deep as you can go, but don't just yet. This is good because now she is thinking about how she wants you to go all in, and she is understanding how pleasurable it feels to feel a big cock, and she is mentally desiring you, as well as physically desiring you. And guess what, by this time she will probably be able to take you as deep as you can go because she is properly warmed up, and mentally and physically ready to accommodate a large penis.
Just because I said it will work doesn't mean it will always work. It might take a few tries, or it might never work. It's not simple math, but its worth exploring. She might be taking in the first four inches of your dick and be doing fine, and all of a sudden need to stop because she might feel a shooting pain all of a sudden. Or she might have an orgasm, and then need to stop. This will happen to you sometimes, and its not fun when you have to stop. Suck it up, and deal with it, maybe masturbate, or get her to finish you off. But don't hat her if you can't go balls deep right away, or even every time.
As I said there is a responsibility to having a large penis in my opinion. You can please a woman in ways that a smaller or average man simply cannot, but you can also hurt these women and cause them pain or make them bleed. So be aware of that.
The good news is that if you are taking all of this time and effort to focus on her pleasure, she will know it, and she will probably greatly appreciate it. Which can mean good things for you, she might be more likely to give you sexual favors more often, she might do other nice things for you, of course there is the good feeling inside you will get by doing something nice for her. And then there are the other fringe benefits, like when she tells her girlfriends about how great of a lover you are, or my personal favorite, when she tells her girlfriends about how big your dick is. I don't care who you are, when your GF tells you that she just told her best friend about how big your cock is, you know thats always fun.
I mentioned earlier how focusing on her orgasm shouldn't be priority one. If you are able to get your dick to fit in her, and make it enjoyable for her. Than you can start thinking about getting her off too (with sex I mean)
For some girls getting them off is easy, some its nearly impossible. If she has never had an orgasm by herself, then it is going to be much less likely that you will be the first to get her off in my opinion. In this case, I would tell you the story of my current GF.
She has had an orgasm before, but for the first 6 months of sex with me she couldnt cum. I would do everything imaginable to her for hours, and it wouldn't work. We were apart for the summer, and I bought her some sex toys. She used the toys on her own, and started getting herself off regularly. The first time we had sex after we met up at the end of the summer she came 3 times in that first session, and now she averages about 5 orgasms for each time we have sex.
Getting her off wasn't something I wasn't doing right or wrong. It was because she didn't know how to let herself cum. Now she does, and she cums all the time.
Also, in my personal experience, when I am having sex with a girl, if I make her cum a few times while penetrating her, she is more likely to need a break from sex, or to have to stop. I'm not sure about the biological reasons, I've just noticed that after she has cum a few times, she is that much closer to saying, "Hey I need a break".
Anyways, that is my lesson for today. I hope you take it to heart. It might be helpful.
