I have a crush...what do i do??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Dingus Nosedigger, Jun 30, 2008.

  1. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    Hey people, I have a question for you all. You seemed really helpful last time i posted on here, so i thought maybe I should try again. Anyway...

    I have a crush on this really hot guy that goes to my college and I'm just trying to figure out how to actually initiate something. Here are the basics: 1.we dont talk that often (only a few minutes or so in passing),
    2.we go to the same college, but live far away when at home (summer is in, so we're both at home for the next month or so)
    3. He thinks im just a really nice straight guy.

    I was considering facebooking him or something, but then again, i didnt know how weird that would be considering that we dont talk that often and we havent seen each other in ages. Any input would be helpful, thanks!
     
  2. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    btw, i recently found out that im gay...or at least bi, im still struggling with it.
     
  3. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

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    sometimes it's easier to get something started by email...
    start off by just saying hi & then depending on his reaction, increase communication with him until you have talked to him often enough to make your intentions known...
     
  4. Big Boy Wayne

    Big Boy Wayne New Member

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    Forget him take me TAKE ME !!!
     
  5. TheWB

    TheWB New Member

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    well are u sure he's gay first of all lol
     
  6. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    yeah im sure he's gay :)
     
  7. TomSchmo

    TomSchmo Member

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    Well i would add him on facebook if you havent already, and then make sure on your profile that it shows that you are interested in men .And then send him an innocent message saying like "Havent seen you in awhile, how have things been"
    its a nice easy start to it.
     
  8. TripHammer

    TripHammer Active Member

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    Find common ground. Pop culture's a good way to do it sometimes, and can make you seem cool. Mention a concert you might be going to, a new video game you like, a poker game you were invited to, some outdoor activity you were up to...something like that. When he responds, LISTEN, and use what he says to start some casual banter on the subject -- branch it off into other similar topical stuff that you like (or suggest something he's not heard of). When you're wrapping up (if it's natural to do so) suggest that maybe you and he should do one of those concerts or video game sessions or poker game or hike/beach/bike together. He'll get the hint that at least you want to be friends, and if he's at all interested in the conversation you're having, it'll make the next conversation much easier. If it's not organic to ask him to "maybe go do blank sometime", then make a point of catching him on his way out, and just casually mention it. The key is to really listen to him, and think on your feet for a quick-witted response. And it never hurts to crack a joke -- guys love wise-asses. This is rambly -- feel free to ask questions.
    And it should be noted that i'm single. But as one of those guys who's into guys but doesn't really want to wear it on my sleeve, it's the best method i've for at least conversing with a guy you wouldn't normally.
     
  9. nashboy

    nashboy Active Member

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    i crush on everybody...lol...im the last one that could help.
     
  10. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    I like your ideas trip hammer, and yours as well tom. The only thing is that im not going to be seeing him for at least a month and a half so all communication has to be online. I'll probably just send him a message on facebook and see how he responds to it.

    Note: I still dont feel comfortable broadcasting my orientation on facebook/the public eye yet. I'm still in a struggling stage.
     
  11. TripHammer

    TripHammer Active Member

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    well, hell, if you're online friends, that's way easier. i've found that guys open up in IM in ways i don't think they are able to in person. just start talking to him about stuff that would let you know where he stands. just flat-out ask him if he's in a relationship, and watch for non-gender-specific pronouns.
     
  12. Smartalk

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    Why don't you do as the others suggested, send him a message on face book. You could say something like " you are really bored at home and was browsing through facebook you came across his profile and thought you would send him a message" . See if you have similar interests etc. If he is friendly enough or interested, I'm sure he will get back to you. See what happends and take it from there, one step at a time.

    Good Luck

    Smartalk

    PS keep us posted on what happends
     
  13. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    im pissed! the guy was on facebook for like 20 minutes (I was on it at the same time) and he didnt even have the decency to type something back to me, sigh. Maybe he didn't notice it or something...
     
  14. nashboy

    nashboy Active Member

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    aww...lol....maybe hes nervous about what to say.
     
  15. killerb

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    give him a little time...and don't try to contact him again...
    meanwhile prepare yourself to learn that he may not be interested...
     
  16. highboiLV

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    Most planned things have never worked for me.....I think you should just let it happen. I think if I were a curious str8 guy, I would want it just to happen.

    How? I really wish I could help you...just saw this post and my heart went out to ya.

    Best wishes on finding your happiness....in this world, day and age....take what you can get. And when you're not trying as hard, mr. right or ms. right might be around the corner!!

    Peace
     
  17. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    ok so i typed to this guy and we're only making small talk so far...how do i escalate it without being too pushy?
     
  18. killerb

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    suggest that you meet up one night soon to "hang out" & take your cue from his response...
     
  19. larocca

    larocca New Member

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    I'm having one of those "crush" moments. There's this guy in my college that's just so..... it's beyond words. I don't think I've ever had a crush on a guy before in my life, only on girls. This one is just so..... yummy. Cute, sweet. Of course, we may have spoken two words overall, but there's just something about him. Always hanging around girls, and the looks he gives are confusing me. I probably wouldn't even have a crush if it weren't for that. Ah, I've got to stop thinking about this. It probably will be just a crush.
     
  20. avg_joe

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    I have a crush on a cute guy named Kenji. I miss him a lot.
     
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