I have a question?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by iwantc2c, Jan 25, 2012.

  1. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    I was watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S and it's the episode where Ross meets Elizabeth's father for the first time and in the first scene, Monica gets angry at Chandler for watching porn on his computer. Does anyone else not like their partner's watching porn? What is the big deal???
     
  2. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    Big deal is if he is so much in love with her why does he need to fantasize about other women? Makes her feel unwanted and undesirable.

    Women do this too but this was right in her face.
     
  3. houtx48

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    someones is in touch with their feminine side.
     
  4. lvsxy808

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    There was a question on this topic on the advice column at AfterElton.com which received an excellent answer, one I wholly agree with.

    To wit: women react much as White Monster detailed above. But men see porn very differently. A woman will think that looking at porn mean he's looking for more than her, that he's likely to cheat. Whereas the fact is it actually means the exact opposite.

    What women don't understand is that a man's sexuality is very different from a woman's. Men are genetically wired to spread the seed far and wide - that goes back to the primodial ooze. So a man watching porn and wanking to it is doing so precisely to avoid going outside the relationship for sex. Porn has no emotional context whatsoever to a man. To him, it is purely about flushing out the pipes so they don't overload.

    But a woman, with her different genetic predisposition towards finding a reliable long-term partner to fend for her and her child, can't conceive of how that could be so. Hence they fight. This is why a man hides his porn from the woman - because he understands how the woman will react to it. The woman, however, does not seem so willing to make any such concession.

    Disclaimer: I say all of the above while being 100% gay and having never once had any kind of sex or relationship with a woman. But it seems to make sense based on my anecdotal observations.

    .
     
  5. Countryguy63

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    It might be that it is different to most women than it is for most men.

    Both myself and my partner watch porn together and separately. It's entertainment, nothing else.
     
  6. Solvejg

    Solvejg New Member

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    Not all women object to porn and not all men use it.

    My ex husband was indifferant to it but I used to watch what I could. I used to have to go behind his back and hide it. We had quite a few fights over it. My current man looks at porn and he knows I do too. I don't have an issue as long as it doesn't turn into an addiction. I really don't get how people can get upset about it. Women usually read those dirty books which is written porn.

    I know a lot of people have an issue with porn due to the objectification of women also. :rolleyes:
     
  7. dolfette

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    i don't give a shit if my guy wanks to porn,
    so take your ''women react ...'' and shove it up your arse.
     
  8. D_Sal_Manilla

    D_Sal_Manilla Account Disabled

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    no.. its just common sense. how would you feel if your partner was horny and wanted to watch porn instead of do things with you?



    i think porn should be watched together if your in a relationship. well thats just my idea.
     
  9. dolfette

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    and for those who think this stupidarse irrational jealousy shit is the realm of women, i would draw your attention to the great many posts by men here claiming dildos & vibes count as cheating.
     
  10. dolfette

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    if i wasn't horny at that time, i'd feel perfectly fine.

    i don't want to watch his porn with him every time he wants to watch it. it gets boring!
     
  11. Kotchanski

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    This!

    Sure, if I was horny, he knew I was horny, I went to the bathroom and came back to find him wanking to porn, I'd be pissed. If however he didn't know, or I wasn't horny... I really don't give a fuck what he does with his time, as long as it doesn't result in rsi (His desire for porn and wanking can't out weigh my desire for having my back scratched when I'm trying to sleep!)
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    It's the "instead" part that matters to me.

    I assume that TheBF looks at it, and I've found it on his computer before when he left the window open and it was right there on the screen. I was flattered that the woman's body looked like mine. It doesn't bother me.

    The only time I've ever gotten jealous was when I was pregnant and feeling unattractive and we were having less sex than usual and I caught him masturbating at his desk when I was right there in the next room and he could have had sex with me. There was definitely pouting on my part. He made it all better. :smile:

    All women are different, though. I know women who I believe would be appalled if they knew that their partners looked at porn, but I suspect that because I don't think they understand men very well.
     
  13. Fade

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    I have no problem with a partner watching porn away from me as long as our sex life is happy and healthy. Hell, my taste in porn varies wildly so maybe we don't even like the same kind of porn. I could care less if a partner masturbates and watches porn sometimes. I definitely fall FAR outside of the stereotype of a woman who gets pissy about a partner doing the above.
     
  14. dolfette

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    in my experience most women feel this way.
    and we often roll our eyes at the women who think it's a big deal.
     
  15. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    Yes and no, I am in touch but he asked a question about why monica reacted the way she did and I gave the answer.

    For me personally, I watch porn and would rather include my partner in it or make her feel comfortable with it, in my case my exes usually had a thing for gay porn or certain kind of fetishes.

    To each their own, the reaction Monica gave however I would not accept that type of behaviour or give up porn for her insecurities.
     
  16. rtg

    rtg
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    When I was younger I hated if a boyfriend watched porn (or even masturbated!) when I wasn't around..it was really just me being insecure. It doesn't bother me really now though, everyone has needs....I watch porn too when my bf isn't around so I can't be a hypocrite about it.

    I guess for me, it's the fact that:
    1. if I was there, I wouldn't want him to ignore me...and for him to rather watch porn than be with me. Watching it together would be fine though.
    2. most women in porn are just so sexy and have 'perfect' bodies...of course it makes us insecure for him to be getting off over another woman that we have no chance of ever looking like! But then it helps to think that he would never actually want to date someone like that...and he probably wouldn't fuck her in real life either.
    3. i'm just a jealous person by nature, I don't want him looking at other women lol. but if it is just fantasy and just purely to get off when he's horny, that's fine. as long as it doesn't become an addiction lol.
     
  17. SprinkleMe69

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    After reading everyone's responses, I forget the question. I just know porn is the topic. Haha guess I'll go watch some all by myself. Carry on folks! :biggrin:
     
  18. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    Thank you and thanks everyone for all your answers. I probably won't date monica if she was going to be like that either
     
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