I Have Always Wondered...

iamjustme65

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... okay so for straight guys seeking gals... we were young and young guys do what they do. Namely say just about anything to a girl trying to get down their pants. We all did it. It was 90% of the reason we went out with them in the first place.
As a gay man, how much of the drive to go out with someone was sex driven? And how easy was it to have sex? I always imagined that because it is two guys...well... sex was a given. Was it?
 

keenobserver

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... okay so for straight guys seeking gals... we were young and young guys do what they do. Namely say just about anything to a girl trying to get down their pants. We all did it. It was 90% of the reason we went out with them in the first place.
As a gay man, how much of the drive to go out with someone was sex driven? And how easy was it to have sex? I always imagined that because it is two guys...well... sex was a given. Was it?

If I go out looking for sex, yes, it is a given I will be hooking up. If I went out just to hang with friends the sex was not likely unless moved to another set of people. When I was young there was a divide in most places between gay and straight and it was unsafe to be known as gay - personally, professionally, socially and legally. For me during 'the early years' going out was subdivided into 'going out with friends or co-workers' or 'going to hook up - with anyone or someone.' For me, once I moved to the Washington D.C. area to go to college and travelled to NYC and other urban areas the sex was very, very easy if you knew where to go. In those days finding gay sex was like being in a secret club. There was actually books that told you where to find gay friendly clubs and bars. There were also gay oriented newspapers - a users guide to sex and hook up partners.

When the bath houses were really big, pre HIV/AIDS and even afterward, sex was absolutely going to happen of you went there. Bars were the next best place. The risk was you did not want to be there when the cops raided the place. That happened pretty regularly, but good clubs made it tricky to get in quickly so there was often early warning when the cops showed up. Third were trade bars and pick up spots where supposedly straight guys were willing to be sexually intimate for a few beers and / or a few bucks - usually military guys, young, away from home, lonely, who stumbled onto a way to make a few bucks with gay men.

As political power began to be used by the LGTB community it was easier to attend other venues that were not sex driven venues. People moved into gay friendly neighborhoods - usually run down neighborhoods in Washington and gentrified them with renovations and business investment.
It was an interesting time.
 

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In the gay world, an average looking guy can have sex with the same ease as ordering a pizza. We don't do the cat and mouse thing. It's a yes or a no.

I have straight friends and I have seen the work they need to do put into a woman to get sex from her. eg buying drinks, making her feel special, buy another drink, pretend their is a connection, buy another drink and tell her she's so beautiful blah blah blah. Hours of work and half a day's pay later, a straight guy can still end up walking home alone at the end of the night.
 

iamjustme65

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Thanks for answering, I kind of always figured that.
Must have been nice.
Although I imagine it could have been difficult and dicey to approach a guy... making sure he is indeed gay also.
I live in a college town. There has always been a "gay scene" here. And always a couple gay bars. I don't believe there is one anymore, with how society has opened up they don't have a need to hide it or feel strange here anymore.
 

keenobserver

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Thanks for answering, I kind of always figured that.
Must have been nice.bars
Although I imagine it could have been difficult and dicey to approach a guy... making sure he is indeed gay also.
I live in a college town. There has always been a "gay scene" here. And always a couple gay bars. I don't believe there is one anymore, with how society has opened up they don't have a need to hide it or feel strange here anymore.

It isn't so much that it needs to be hidden - bars with gay clientele still thrive. Most str8 people just go somewhere else. The sex based venues are going away - the need faded and property gentrifies. Home plate at the Washington Nationals ballpark used to be were the stage of an all male strip club named Wet existed. I got homeruns on that site long before Bryce Harper came to town. I read yesterday that there are no longer any gay baths, or drag clubs in DC anymore. The DC Eagle which in its day was a great Leather Bar, real hardcore - has closed. Times change. If you are in a gay bar or club, pickups are generally easy. I would not make a move on a guy I did not know in a venue that was not strongly gay patronized. That is just common sense.
 

iamjustme65

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..... I would not make a move on a guy I did not know in a venue that was not strongly gay patronized. That is just common sense.
(My edit)
I would hope things are different now with that? For sure 30 years ago it would be downright dangerous. Even risking your life in many parts of the U.S.
i have been hit on by a gay guy, like 3 or 4 times just in the past 4 years. I married again 4 years ago, and I have said to my wife numerous times - "do I come across at all like I am gay??... I certainly don't think I do"... she thinks it is funny.
Me - if the guy was an attractive dude...it's flattering. I am so awesome I attract both sexes! :p
 

keenobserver

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(My edit)
I would hope things are different now with that? For sure 30 years ago it would be downright dangerous. Even risking your life in many parts of the U.S.
i have been hit on by a gay guy, like 3 or 4 times just in the past 4 years. I married again 4 years ago, and I have said to my wife numerous times - "do I come across at all like I am gay??... I certainly don't think I do"... she thinks it is funny.
Me - if the guy was an attractive dude...it's flattering. I am so awesome I attract both sexes! :p

Unfortunately too many straight guys are a little touchy about being hit on by a gay man. You have a good attitude about it - which is great, but depending on where you are and how drunk someone is it can still be a problem.
 

iamjustme65

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Unfortunately too many straight guys are a little touchy about being hit on by a gay man. You have a good attitude about it - which is great, but depending on where you are and how drunk someone is it can still be a problem.
The best thing that happened to me about homosexuality was in my late 20's a guy we worked with, we all liked him...cool guy, funny - friendly... he came out. My feelings I am proud of. It was a turning point, I wasn't going to treat him different. (some did) I liked the guy, and now I am supposed to not like him? Not happening. I'm not a jerk.
I grew up thinking gays were perverted people, sick. And here was this guy was none of those things. It changed everything for me on this point.
That was a long time ago. I am glad to see that teens today are far-far more open about it then the closed-mindedness of my generation.
 
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