First of all, I would just like to say that I have been a long time lurker of these forums ever since I began puberty and started exploring the internet to help me understand my sexuality and my body.
I am currently 17, but will soon be 18 in late January. I have had a fairly average puberty, I am a normal height and weight, with a normal penis size and I have no major health problems. I have posted this same query to other websites, one of which is a teen health and sexuality website that wasn't able to offer anything more than expressions of sympathy and pity (still very grateful that they tried to help), the other site was a sexology website that I submitted my question to but it hasn't been registered or answered as of yet.
So I turned to this website, I knew that the people here were the foremost experts of everything and anything to do with male genitals, and so I am really hoping that someone here will understand. So basically I will begin from the start;
My problem is an inability to ejaculate or gain any pleasure from masturbation. Basically, I have no erotic sensation in my penis, it basically feels like I am rubbing my arm when I am rubbing it. This is only part of the problem though, even though I can sustain an erection, I can rub until I have friction burns on my hand (no I have never rubbed this long that that has happened, plus I use lubrivcation) but nothing will happen, no ejaculation, no orgasm.
I do have wet dreams however, and have had them since age 13. This is quite embarassing for me because every couple of weeks I have about 3 wet dreams on consecutive nights (kind of like a male version of a period) and I am left to wake up feeling sticky, uncomfortable and rather ashamed. For this reason, whenever I sleep at a friends house, go on a camp or sleep away from home, I need to sleep with a wad of tissues down my underwear to make things a little easier to clean in the morning when I don't have access to a shower.
On some occassions I have woken up while I am ejaculating from a wet dream and I have a horribly painful sensation in my penis, it is almost like my penis can't ejaculate properly and is trying its very best to squeeze it out, this is a slow and dull pain that can last for about 5 minutes after I have finished ejaculating.
Now these aren't the only consequnces, because of my inability to have sexual release, I have been addicted to porn since I started puberty. I feel disgusting and degraded and desperate, but if I don't go and satisfy myself by looking at porn I become extremely stressed out, mentally and physically.
It is awful having to do this, once my dad caught me looking at porn (I was looking at gay porn at the time) and he was furious. We had a talk about it (this was after he was furious at me for coming out as gay, I am not gay anymore, I am omnisexual) and I pormised never to do it again. But, of course I kept doing it and I still continue to do it, I feel guilty everytime I do.
Last year, I was caught and my parents made me see a psychiatrist because of the porn and because of my sexuality (they still thought I was gay, and so did I). After all of the times I had spoke with my parents, I had explained my situation to them, they were unable to help. I went to the doctor, he couldn't help, so I was refered to a urologist.
The urologist had no idea about what might be wrong, but he did notice I had a tight frenulum due to my semi-circumcision when I was born. I had a $700 operation to fix the frenulum and he also checked out my prostate, bladder and urethra to see if I had any problems. I was perfect, nothing wrong with any of my parts, I didn't have any kinds of cancer or cysts or growths, all my parts were perfect.
He thought that the now loose frenulum would give me more foreskin (I have only got half a foreskin) to masturbate with and help with sensativity. This operation did stop the tightness of my erection and allowed me more skin to move, but still I had no success.
He did suggest that maybe my body hadn't developed enough to be able to masturbate (which didn't make sense since I knew I had the ability to ejaculate and my penis and testes were the right size for my age) and he considered hormone injections. He said that they would have to wait until I was about 19 or 20, until he was sure I finished growing for sure. But this would be extremely time consuming and very expensive for a practice that may not yield the results I require and may have potentially advrse results.
The psychiatrist I went to at the same time as the urologist found me to be fine, she thinks I may have OCD but only to a mild degree, nothing that would drastically affect me. I told her about my sexual problems and how they were affecting me mentally, she couldn't help me out with that, she said she didn't know what might be causing it.
Now, a whole year later, I am still faced with the same problems, same addictions, same stuggles. I don't look at porn as much anymore (I used to go on 7 hour shifts when I was 14, I knew I had a problem then), but I still feel as hony as I used to.
I don't know how many of you can empathise with my situation, but sometimes I break down because of it, I just want to be normal sometimes. I get very distressed about not being able to do what everyone else takes for granted, I feel like an outsider and an absolute misfit. I know that some other people have a similar condition, but not as severe as mine.
I want to eventually be in a sexual relationship, but I don't want to discover that I can't do anything when it comes to the sexual act. I sometimes things that I am being stupid about all of this, that some people are starving to death while I am concerned about my sexual health, and I end up feeling selfish and guilty, and then I hate myself and become depressed over all of it.
My life is filled with so many other things, I am active in so many other ways, but I feel my life will never be complete with all of these feelings still inside of me.
I also suffer from pee shyness, and I know that the reasons concerning it are probably psychological in root, my OCD and other phobias I have are also psychological, and I have read that other people who suffer from 'retarded ejacualtion' (that isn't what I have, but it is the closest thing to it from what I have read) is also psychological in root. I am asking for some help on where I could find advice on how to cure my condition or at least ease it, maybe a sexual therapist or a website I could acsess to gain some information. Anything would be better than what I must live with now.
I have also recently considered chemical castration, to stop my sex drive altogether and in some of my more destructively angry moods, I have considered having everything cut off altogether (I have even considered doing it myself).
Please, I am begging for your help. I am at the end of my tether here, and I am becoming less able to cope, I know I cannot last any longer like this, maybe a few months but not another year, definately not for the rest of my life.
Yours sincerely,
Jonah.
(My name is not really Jonah, I had to change it because my name is googled far too easily and I really don't need my friends accidentally discovering my problems.)
I am currently 17, but will soon be 18 in late January. I have had a fairly average puberty, I am a normal height and weight, with a normal penis size and I have no major health problems. I have posted this same query to other websites, one of which is a teen health and sexuality website that wasn't able to offer anything more than expressions of sympathy and pity (still very grateful that they tried to help), the other site was a sexology website that I submitted my question to but it hasn't been registered or answered as of yet.
So I turned to this website, I knew that the people here were the foremost experts of everything and anything to do with male genitals, and so I am really hoping that someone here will understand. So basically I will begin from the start;
My problem is an inability to ejaculate or gain any pleasure from masturbation. Basically, I have no erotic sensation in my penis, it basically feels like I am rubbing my arm when I am rubbing it. This is only part of the problem though, even though I can sustain an erection, I can rub until I have friction burns on my hand (no I have never rubbed this long that that has happened, plus I use lubrivcation) but nothing will happen, no ejaculation, no orgasm.
I do have wet dreams however, and have had them since age 13. This is quite embarassing for me because every couple of weeks I have about 3 wet dreams on consecutive nights (kind of like a male version of a period) and I am left to wake up feeling sticky, uncomfortable and rather ashamed. For this reason, whenever I sleep at a friends house, go on a camp or sleep away from home, I need to sleep with a wad of tissues down my underwear to make things a little easier to clean in the morning when I don't have access to a shower.
On some occassions I have woken up while I am ejaculating from a wet dream and I have a horribly painful sensation in my penis, it is almost like my penis can't ejaculate properly and is trying its very best to squeeze it out, this is a slow and dull pain that can last for about 5 minutes after I have finished ejaculating.
Now these aren't the only consequnces, because of my inability to have sexual release, I have been addicted to porn since I started puberty. I feel disgusting and degraded and desperate, but if I don't go and satisfy myself by looking at porn I become extremely stressed out, mentally and physically.
It is awful having to do this, once my dad caught me looking at porn (I was looking at gay porn at the time) and he was furious. We had a talk about it (this was after he was furious at me for coming out as gay, I am not gay anymore, I am omnisexual) and I pormised never to do it again. But, of course I kept doing it and I still continue to do it, I feel guilty everytime I do.
Last year, I was caught and my parents made me see a psychiatrist because of the porn and because of my sexuality (they still thought I was gay, and so did I). After all of the times I had spoke with my parents, I had explained my situation to them, they were unable to help. I went to the doctor, he couldn't help, so I was refered to a urologist.
The urologist had no idea about what might be wrong, but he did notice I had a tight frenulum due to my semi-circumcision when I was born. I had a $700 operation to fix the frenulum and he also checked out my prostate, bladder and urethra to see if I had any problems. I was perfect, nothing wrong with any of my parts, I didn't have any kinds of cancer or cysts or growths, all my parts were perfect.
He thought that the now loose frenulum would give me more foreskin (I have only got half a foreskin) to masturbate with and help with sensativity. This operation did stop the tightness of my erection and allowed me more skin to move, but still I had no success.
He did suggest that maybe my body hadn't developed enough to be able to masturbate (which didn't make sense since I knew I had the ability to ejaculate and my penis and testes were the right size for my age) and he considered hormone injections. He said that they would have to wait until I was about 19 or 20, until he was sure I finished growing for sure. But this would be extremely time consuming and very expensive for a practice that may not yield the results I require and may have potentially advrse results.
The psychiatrist I went to at the same time as the urologist found me to be fine, she thinks I may have OCD but only to a mild degree, nothing that would drastically affect me. I told her about my sexual problems and how they were affecting me mentally, she couldn't help me out with that, she said she didn't know what might be causing it.
Now, a whole year later, I am still faced with the same problems, same addictions, same stuggles. I don't look at porn as much anymore (I used to go on 7 hour shifts when I was 14, I knew I had a problem then), but I still feel as hony as I used to.
I don't know how many of you can empathise with my situation, but sometimes I break down because of it, I just want to be normal sometimes. I get very distressed about not being able to do what everyone else takes for granted, I feel like an outsider and an absolute misfit. I know that some other people have a similar condition, but not as severe as mine.
I want to eventually be in a sexual relationship, but I don't want to discover that I can't do anything when it comes to the sexual act. I sometimes things that I am being stupid about all of this, that some people are starving to death while I am concerned about my sexual health, and I end up feeling selfish and guilty, and then I hate myself and become depressed over all of it.
My life is filled with so many other things, I am active in so many other ways, but I feel my life will never be complete with all of these feelings still inside of me.
I also suffer from pee shyness, and I know that the reasons concerning it are probably psychological in root, my OCD and other phobias I have are also psychological, and I have read that other people who suffer from 'retarded ejacualtion' (that isn't what I have, but it is the closest thing to it from what I have read) is also psychological in root. I am asking for some help on where I could find advice on how to cure my condition or at least ease it, maybe a sexual therapist or a website I could acsess to gain some information. Anything would be better than what I must live with now.
I have also recently considered chemical castration, to stop my sex drive altogether and in some of my more destructively angry moods, I have considered having everything cut off altogether (I have even considered doing it myself).
Please, I am begging for your help. I am at the end of my tether here, and I am becoming less able to cope, I know I cannot last any longer like this, maybe a few months but not another year, definately not for the rest of my life.
Yours sincerely,
Jonah.
(My name is not really Jonah, I had to change it because my name is googled far too easily and I really don't need my friends accidentally discovering my problems.)
