i have been having erection problems

[B_joshdaniels1234567]

i've only been physical twice with this bi sexual girl i've been casually seeing for the last few weeks, but both times i've had troubles gaining and maintaining an erection. i find her attractive and a great kisser however it's always a little awkward when we hang out and she doesn't seem to be very experienced in terms of physically pleasuring a guy if you know what i mean. however, i'm a 22 year old with a very high sex drive and usually get erections even when they're unwanted. also because of this girl i've kind of lightly taken up smoking cigarettes (we work together and cigarette breaks are the only time when we can really chat at work). i imagine the cigarettes could cause this, but i don't smoke too heavily at all.

thoughts?

 

[Riven650]

Well, I doubt the cigarettes have anything to do with it, but do yourself a favour and quit the smoking before you get hooked (that happens real fast).

I'd say that your erection probs are psychologically based. Most likely cause is performance anxiety. I'd say it's because you don't know where you stand with this girl.

 

[henry8888]

100% phychological, you are probly thinking to much and not relaxed.

 

[B_joshdaniels1234567]

i doubt it's performance anxiety as i really just want to get at it. it may have something to do with the fact that she is in a common law polyamorous marriage and usually just dates women and is very strange when it comes to getting physical and especially penetration, however my mind seems at ease with all of this stuff as i am leaving this city within a month and considering that and the fact that she's serious with someone leaves me a little unattached.

ah presto, i need attachment to achieve an erection.

 

[crushted]

i've only been physical twice with this bi sexual girl i've been casually seeing for the last few weeks, but both times i've had troubles gaining and maintaining an erection. i find her attractive and a great kisser however it's always a little awkward when we hang out and she doesn't seem to be very experienced in terms of physically pleasuring a guy if you know what i mean. however, i'm a 22 year old with a very high sex drive and usually get erections even when they're unwanted. also because of this girl i've kind of lightly taken up smoking cigarettes (we work together and cigarette breaks are the only time when we can really chat at work). i imagine the cigarettes could cause this, but i don't smoke too heavily at all.

thoughts?

Ever think to try a man? ;-) i would love to please you :-*

 

[Riven650]

i doubt it's performance anxiety as i really just want to get at it. it may have something to do with the fact that she is in a common law polyamorous marriage and usually just dates women and is very strange when it comes to getting physical and especially penetration, however my mind seems at ease with all of this stuff as i am leaving this city within a month and considering that and the fact that she's serious with someone leaves me a little unattached.

ah presto, i need attachment to achieve an erection.

Yes, you need attachment - two way attachment. The way I read you is that you really like her and would like it to work, but she's not ready to commit. That makes you feel insecure (in this relationship). You might be a confident lover and have plenty of sex drive, but that doesn't help you when her head isn't really in it. Your cock is giving away your subconscious insecurity. I think you have to sort this out soon. If she can't satisfy your need for a committed partner then you really better quit (however painful it feels) and free yourself to find someone who really wants you as much as you want her. You should stop this before it (your erection problem) becomes an established response to sexual situations.

 

[B_joshdaniels1234567]

Yes, you need attachment - two way attachment. The way I read you is that you really like her and would like it to work, but she's not ready to commit. That makes you feel insecure (in this relationship). You might be a confident lover and have plenty of sex drive, but that doesn't help you when her head isn't really in it. Your cock is giving away your subconscious insecurity. I think you have to sort this out soon. If she can't satisfy your need for a committed partner then you really better quit (however painful it feels) and free yourself to find someone who really wants you as much as you want her. You should stop this before it (your erection problem) becomes an established response to sexual situations.

it actually appears that she is more attached to me than i am to her. she usually is the one making the plans and is also putting in a lot of effort. i'm probably held back from feeling anything for her because of our situation, but again i'm moving back to my apartment on the other side of the country in 3 weeks so we both know this is going to be a short lived thing. i really feel this has nothing to do with an insecurity. i think it might have more to do with her lack of experience in handling the male genitalia. she doesn't really seem to know what she's doing at all. having said all of that though, in any other circumstance i'd be hard as a rock by getting touched down there, even if touched poorly.

 

[Riven650]

Maybe you're picking up on her nervousness and that's unsettling you. Might be that you need to be communicating these things to her as well as to us. You know, tell her how things look and feel from your side and see if she wants to talk about it too. That's usually the best way forward.

 

[Nectarseeker69]

What ever you do! Quit smoking and never restart. PERIOD. I could grease a truck with what I cough up in the mornings after 50 year of smoking. And my Doctor says I'm having trouble getting a Hard-on because I smoke.
Light one up or:
Get it up.
You choose.
Hope this helps your life, for the rest of your life.

 

[ThicknMoan]

i went through same thing years ago when I was dating a lovely gal. I was into her but erections the first few times didnt happen because I had cock on the brain lol took awhile

i notice nowadays I dont get turned on that often or that easily.

Could be a few issues:

I have had soooo much sex that I am getting bored? LOL
Bored with same person? This is probably true because once I was in bed with a nice NEW tight hole, I was MORE than ready to go

Eroticism seems to work more for me than porno or porn star-mentality ppl.

But erection issues could be psychological and even physcial <heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc)

Just some thoughts

 

[erratic]

Maybe you're picking up on her nervousness and that's unsettling you.

This is my guess. Some people get turned on by nervous newbies, but for others the nervousness is infectious.

Like Riven said, talk it out with her. Maybe she (and you) need to take things slow - not as in stop having sex, but as in no rushing to the tab A/slot B stuff. Lots of foreplay, lots of talking.

 

[sexplease]

1) Don't shit where you eat.
2) You two are being paid to do something for someone and you minds probably are not %100 on your job or tasks. Not a good thing as valued member of the team.
3) Dating bisexual people has its challenges, but it's not the challenges, but rather how you meet them.
4) (for purely aesthetic reasons, this is blank)
5) Enjoy the time you [two] spend together